What to do if Your Wife is Checking Out That Neighbor Dude

What if your wife is secretly craving a monster within you she hasn’t seen in a long, long time?

The Knot in Your Stomach

This may be hard to read. Hell, it was hard to write.

This is the cold, hard truth about how many husbands suddenly find themselves on the receiving end of “I just don’t feel connected anymore”. It’s a heart stabbing moment that’s best avoided, if possible.

I hope I’m not too late for you. The odds are that I might be because men tend to not notice this stuff until she’s reached the point of no return. The “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore” point.

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And I’ll be the first to say “It’s not fair, dammit!” It’s not. But life ain’t fair, brother.

I know you’ve worked your butt off and provided for your family the best way you could. You’re not perfect, but you’ve given it all you’ve got. You’ve been the best man you could be for everyone around you. Your mother-in-law thinks you’re a prince. And your friends love that you help them move stuff and lend them your tools whenever they ask. You love your kids more than life itself.

And now this. It feels like you’re just not good enough anymore.

She’s checking out the neighbor dude. She laughs at him and calls him stupid but always seems to be talking about him. He’s divorced, cocky, and has a lot of parties and random women leaving his house in the mornings.

She says he’s a real jerk but always seems to get invited to his parties.

Do I have that knot in your gut tight enough yet? Thought so. I’ve had that knot before too.

What I Know About Your Wife

I know absolutely nothing about your wife.

But I know about you. And I’ve heard this story so many times I’ve got good data. And my data says that you’re probably thinking about all the wrong things.

You would like to know why she’s doing this, and what you’ve done wrong, and how can you fix it.

You’re pissed that your hard work and loyalty isn’t appreciated the way you expected.

You’re wondering how you can attract her again and save your marriage.

And if you’re honest – really honest – you’re just a little jealous of the neighbor dude.

You were him at one time or you’ve always wanted to be. You’re wondering how you wound up in this insecure, fearful, needy place in your life.

You think it’s too late to feel that kind of freedom again. You’ll never again have that confidence and cockiness around women. There’s no way a 45 year old man can find his mojo again and his sense of pride because, after all, you’re just a husband and a dad who works for a living.

Bullshit.

The Things You Should Really Be Worrying About

You’ve been worrying about things that are 100% out of your control.

This will make you crazy with frustration and despair. It’s like beating your head against a wall.

You need to stop worrying about what your wife is or isn’t doing and stop focusing on “saving your marriage”. There are more important things to worry about – things directly in your control.

And these are the only things that may make a difference in your marriage.

It’s time to start thinking and acting like that happily divorced guy in your marriage! It’s what you want anyway and is apparently what she wants too.

This means turning your attention to yourself for a change. Be more selfish with your time and attention.

What have you been dreaming of doing with your life that’s only been squashed by excuses?

How have you been playing small and accomplishing only a fraction of what you’re capable? You’re a brilliant, way above average, industrious man.

What have you been doing for fun and adventure? What have you been doing with your body and your health?

What have you been secretly yearning to do and then convincing yourself you can’t or aren’t quite ready?

The data I have says there is a monster of a man inside you dying to do more and be more.

More fun. More adventure. More wealth. More love. More Sex.

More of everything.

That guy is an amazing, irresistible man.

The neighbor dude quietly envies the monster within you.

And your wife quietly aches for the monster to emerge.

Screw the marriage for now. You have no control over that.

Bring on the monster.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.

If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.

You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.

Photo Rodney Troy/Flickr

Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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