My Wife Said She Doesn’t Have Feelings For Me Anymore

We talk to men every day who say “My Wife Said She Doesn’t Have Feelings For Me Anymore” – it can be a bombshell to us. What does it mean? What can you do? What is going on in your relationship that causes her to say something like this?

There’s an ability that you have in your tool kit which you may not even be aware of and almost certainly don’t know how powerful it is in creating connection and intimacy.

It’s incredibly simple to use too.

But most of us are too crippled by our own thinking to believe in its power.

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It’s the tool of self approval

Another way of saying this is self confidence but we can often get caught up in what we should “DO” to show that we’re confident in ourselves.

I just got off a call with a man who was tired of the struggle, tired of everything being hard, he said,

“I just don’t know whether it’s worth it anymore. We have a good time for a few days and then we’re back to her saying she’s unhappy, criticising me, complaining that I don’t care, that I don’t help, and it makes me back away and shut down.”

This reminds me of a great quote from the book “What Women want when they test men” by Bruce Bryans…

She will test the living daylights out of you until you figure out who you are as a man.

I explain more in this video.

YouTube video

I know that you are a competent, successful, kind and loving man, father, brother, son and friend. All the men we speak to have these things in common.

It’s only in the emotional world of intimacy, desire, connection and sex that we struggle to feel clear and confident in our ability to create what we want – the passion and spark that has slowly waned and disappeared from our relationship.

What I want you to get from this video and email is that you have a lot more control and influence than you’re allowing yourself to utilize.

I want you to learn how to empower yourself. to get a glimpse of what you’ve been doing that has caused a break in the connection between you and the woman you love.

The story I mention in the video is a classic example of how we trip ourselves up and eliminate all chances of intimate connection being able to happen.

A woman will only open her heart to a man who can stand strong in his own value when she is questioning hers.

As men we want answers. We want clear facts and instructions to solve the problem and get the result we want.

In relationship and especially one that is disconnected, the instruction I want you to get is that YOU have the responsibility to learn the tools at your disposal.

When you need her to change how she treats you before you can connect with her, you give away your power and your ability to create the intimate connection you desire.

Someone has to be the keeper of the connection, someone has to lead you both out of the pain of disconnection and into a place of consistency where she can learn to trust you again. Where she can relax because she feels the unwavering truth in your actions that tell her how important she is to you.

Yes she’s going to test you, she has been hurt by all the ways in which you have allowed the connection between you to falter or drop completely.

You know that pain you feel right now, the knot in your gut and the anxiety about your uncertain future…?

She has been feeling that on and off for much longer.

And she NEEDS you to find the way to be consistent in your unconditional care and openness to her.

Especially when she is in pain.

Her pain often sounds like criticism, like judgement, like silence, or that cold distant apathy.

When your confidence is affected by her approval of you or your need for her to be happy with you, she just can’t trust that you have the emotional strength to love all of her, including her emotions.

That’s why we teach men how to approve of themselves.

Because when you KNOW who you are as a man, you can offer the gift of unwavering intimate connection to her anytime.

When you self approve, you experience her down days completely differently.

You can still shine your lighthouse of care and support even in the face of her emotional storm.

You calmly let her know that this is the man you are, the man you will be and the way you live your life.

A life of intimate connection, passion, trust, respect, empathy, love and desire.

She will test you.

She has to test you.

​​​​​​​If you want her to open intimately to you, she MUST test that it is safe for her to do so.

To do anything else would be setting herself up for a painful disconnection AGAIN, and she is understandably averse to doing that.

So my question for you is…

Do you take up the challenge to understand how to self approve now you know it can truly transform the connection in your marriage?

In our coaching we take men through an intense program to build this muscle of self approval to the point where it is rock solid, where you no longer doubt yourself and can even laugh at how you used to get upset by her change in mood.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our Mastering Connection With Women course starts again in May lead by Dan and Alexis – Receive live feedback on your energy and confidence. Find out what you need to do to own your sexuality and masculinity. Navigate tests and create more connection and intimacy with ease. Find out more and signup here.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

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author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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