The Counter-Intuitive Way to Become More Attractive to Your Wife

A client once told me a story about his new girlfriend that made me laugh out loud.

It was a Wednesday evening around 5:30pm. She was sitting on his couch and getting hungry.

She said, “What do you want to get to eat tonight?”

He said, “Tonight’s my men’s group night. I mentioned it earlier. I’ll be eating at the restaurant. I need to leave in a few minutes.”

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“Oh”, She said. “I forgot. Ummm…so I guess that means you’re kicking me out?”

“That’s one way to look at it, I guess.”, he replied.

Then she smiled and said, “I gotta tell you. I think it’s so HOT you’re kicking me out to go to a men’s group meeting!”

Yeah…what a woman.

That’s the first story he told when he showed up that night. The guys laughed at the story and sat there with a little envy that he had such a cool woman in his life.

Whether it’s a girlfriend or a wife, this reaction is typical.


Because she is being a witness to a man who has made a freaking decision. He’s a man who made a plan. He has a clear value around something he cares about. And it’s not negotiable.

A rare man indeed.

I had a bunch of these men with me and my business partner, Tim Wade, for 4 days at the Confident Man Ranch Retreat last week.

When “the inside of a man” is good…everything else around him looks and feels a whole lot better too.

In fact, the biggest reason men feel disconnected, anxious, afraid and passionless in their life has NOTHING TO DO WITH WOMEN.

Until we understand that connection, well-being, peacefulness and PASSION are already inside us we will always be on a desperate search for those things outside of us.

When the men left the Confident Man Ranch Retreat last week there was nothing but smiles and optimism.

Although we were “spent” emotionally…it was a good kind of hurt. Kind of like walking out of the gym after a great workout.

They know the truth. They are okay and are going to BE okay.

It’s positively liberating to know that working LESS HARD is the secret to more happiness, peace and passion.

Every day I hear of men who have no access to a men’s group and no way to connect with quality men to talk to. I help them find ways to create their own men’s group in their community. I also invite them to the events I’ve created.

I create these as much for myself as I do for you. I’m selfish that way.

Due to popular demand, we decided to schedule another Confident Man Ranch Retreat. in 2019 on October 20-23. This is one of our most popular and powerful experiences for men who want a major mojo boost and clarity in how to address their relationship issues. Click here for tons of pics and more information. You can save your spot now with a deposit of $500.

Find out more about that in the video below:

YouTube video

Working with horses has taught me a ton about women and relationships in general. Everything makes total sense now.

The one thing you have to know about horses to build a strong, trusting, connected, mutually satisfying relationship is this.


Every single aspect of your relationship with a horse is a reaction to who you are and how you are being.

If you don’t get that you’ll believe that everything that happens in relation to that horse is outside your control. You’ll think the horse is an insane, irrational, over-reactive bag of fear and anger. You will feel like you have no ability to create a new reality.

And so it is with women.

And so it is with every single aspect of your life.

Our mission is to teach you this so you can create a better reality for yourself.

I’m not saying others don’t have responsibility for how they show up with you. Of course, they do. But you have total control over how you choose to respond to their choices and behavior. And when you realize and embrace that secret power of yours, everything will start to change for you.

I want you to become a highly capable, competent, relaxed leader of your own life so you can have more of everything you want. I want you to feel so calm, deliberate and pleased in your own skin that nothing rattles you anymore.

Do you want that for you?

Here’s the problem most of us men are facing.

We’ve been taught that circumstances simply occur to us and the best we can do is react to them. In other words, most men think the world happens to them. They don’t know how to happen to the world.

A man can change his own circumstances anytime he wants.

Other articles you may find helpful:

Sex And Marriage
How To Be More Confident With Your Wife?

But there are two reasons men don’t do this:

They don’t know how and have never been taught.

They are secretly afraid of the consequences – afraid of what other people will think, say or do in reaction to them.

The key to you changing your current circumstances and becoming a man who gets what he wants is facing those two barriers now – not later.

And when you do, I can promise you, you’ll be grinning from ear to ear.

Here’s what one of the guys said about the last Ranch retreat:

“The retreat was just what the doctor ordered – full of camaraderie, good food and drink, laughter, outdoors, and learning. Learning about horses, yes, but more importantly learning about myself, the importance of masculine connections, and the necessity of taking care of myself other than just physically.”
– Mike C.

They always sell out so find out more here.

Also, if you want a more intense and longer term relationship with other great men, join the tribe of men in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable.

This is your best option to enter a community and a proven process that will permanently transform your view of your self-confidence, your mission and your love for life.

We would love to help you become so clear in what you want to experience in your relationship over the next 20 years that you embrace difficult conversations and start CREATING the life that you want.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

Books, articles and videos are great but to really make quick progress and get to a point where you’re consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic about life again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make.

Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.

Come and try our coaching through our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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