I Need Space What Does She Mean?


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Did your wife or girlfriend say, “I need space!”? How you understand and respond to this moment in your life and relationship is key to what happens next. Learning how to respond from your strong masculine energy of self confidence will help you feel more calm and also provide some essential leadership for the relationship to evolve and grow through this difficult moment.

“I need space” is also disguised as:

  • I don’t feel connected to you
  • I’m not sexually attracted to you
  • I feel smothered
  • I don’t know who I am anymore
  • I need to take care of me
  • I think we need a break and…
  • I love you…but I’m just not IN LOVE with you anymore

“I Need Space” Broke Down In Very Simple Terms

It needs to be simple because the intensity of your emotions when you hear these things can rattle you to the core. It puts your brain into overdrive which creates immediate OVERWHELM in your central nervous system.

I saw a quote recently.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

The quote said:

“I need some space away from you so I could love myself more, and so that I could love you even better.”

We would love to believe that the quote is a simple explanation. “Give me space so I can love me so I can love you better.”

Sometimes it is! But most times it’s much more complicated than that.

Some people believe if anyone ever uses the phrase, “I need space” it means they are already cheating and sleeping with someone else.

Sometimes it does. But most times it’s much more complicated than that too.

A Peek Into Your Wife’s Brain:

Do you want to know what “more complicated” might sound like inside the head and heart of your wife when she says, “I need space!”?

It sounds more like this.

(Read this as fast and frantically as you can to get the real gist of it.)

“I feel like I’m about to explode because I feel so much anxiety in my body and my thoughts are all over the place and I can’t focus and I feel like I’ll never figure out who I am because I’ve never felt good enough and everyone seems so disappointed in me and I just can’t relax because I feel like everyone needs me to take care of them…and all my sweaters are snagged…and I feel like I can’t exhale because of the weight of being a mother, wife, caretaker and employee sits on my chest 24/7 and I’m not sleeping because my body aches and that pisses me off!…and YOU don’t seem to understand ANY of this and if you do, well, it seems you don’t really have any compassion because you’re so concerned about how MY feelings are making you feel and all I feel from you is disappointment and a 24/7 pressure to FIX ME so you can finally feel better but I just want you to back away and love me how I am right now and be a partner who quietly gets me, accepts me and helps me…and…and…I don’t know anymore…you don’t care anyway.”

Yeah. I know. Complicated.

What the hell are you supposed to do about THAT?!

In this video, I answer that question

YouTube video

Does “I need space!” Mean She’s Sleeping Around??

Here’s the most important thing to know about her – or ANYONE – wanting space.

She Said “I Need Space”… What Does That Mean About You?

This isn’t something she is doing TO YOU. She is doing it FOR HERSELF.

I know. It feels intensely personal. It feels threatening.

Your world as you know it is being rocked.

And everything you thought you knew about her, your marriage, yourself and your future is now officially in the UNDECIDED category.

And this UNCERTAINTY twists your guts into knots.

The twists in your guts are actually the intense discomfort of your loss of control.

And this discomfort is rooted in FEAR. Fear of the unknown. And fear that you just might actually be a horrible douche bag who totally screwed up his marriage and will end up as a lonely old man with a tattoo that says, “FAILURE” on your forehead.

Am I getting warm?

When she says “I need space” it reveals how you have been depending on her for your sense of well-being. The source of your discomfort is within your own fears.  Men of incredible self-reliance are forged when they face their own discomforts.

Facing Your Own Discomforts

If you’re reading this and getting a little uncomfortable…or a LOT uncomfortable, then you are the man we want to help today.

My friend and colleague, Tim Wade, and I developed an intensely personal, extremely emotional and dead nuts, balls on accurate online coaching experience for you. We call it the:

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course.

If you have heard, “I need space”, or any variation of that phrase, you need this course and the tribe of over 300 men that comes with it.

It’s over 9 hours of detailed coaching and extra, “Not Suitable for Wife” bonus videos you must see.

Men say they watch these videos over and over again to just reduce their anxiety and to stop the hyperventilating energy of pestering her for answers every hour.

The course is unlike anything you will find scouring the internet.

And the 24/7 support group of men just like you is simply astounding in it’s value and camaraderie.

Summer is tough. Kids are home, plans are being made and family vacations are in the works…all the while you may be wondering where your marriage is even going.

We can help any man who is serious about looking deep inside of his nervous, hummingbird-like energy wanting to regain his peace and personal power.

There’s also a  “No BS Money Back Guarantee”.

(almost nobody ask for their money back)

You have zero risk – nothing to lose and everything to gain.

That’s a promise.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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