How To Not Let Your Struggling Marriage Ruin Fathers Day

If you’re living in a struggling marriage, events like fathers day, mothers day, anniversaries all become high pressured and potentially explosive. So how can you avoid the conflict and create a fun, happy day for everyone?

Further down, I list 5 fatherly gifts that make you a highly valuable dad.  These gifts are yours to own especially when facing Father’s Day. Make sure to click the links at the bottom for more info on how to expand your friendships with other great fathers.

Leading Father’s Day When In A Struggling Marriage

Father’s day can be a very tough day for dads who are going through a marriage crisis.

Even if you don’t have kids, it can still be very hard if you don’t have a close relationship with your own father. It can bring up all kinds of painful memories.

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And if things are particularly difficult between you and your runaway wife, just the logistics of spending time with your kids can be stressful.

Worst of all, the feelings of sorrow, grief, guilt, and anger can come on strong when you think thoughts like “this is not how it’s supposed to be!”

On one hand, Father’s Day is “just another day.” Sometimes recognizing that is the best way to get through it. The truth is, when you have children, EVERY DAY is father’s day (and mother’s day too.)

So why not just ignore it? Good question.

Because Father’s Day is not for you. It’s for your children. It gives them a chance to acknowledge to themselves (and to you) on one day, just how important your presence in their lives is EVERY DAY.

And it’s yet another chance for you to show them how a great dad behaves, loves, and cares.

Knowing Your Value As A Father

Here are five reminders of the value your full involvement has for your children:

  1. Consistently being in your children’s lives, whether in person or phone or zoom, especially when the logistics are challenging, teaches your children that they matter. It show them they are worth the maximum effort, no matter how difficult.

  2. They know that they have someone to go to when they are struggling, hurting, or confused. And in doing so, you teach them how to be there for others. Your actions have a direct impact on how empathetic and compassionate they become.

  3. Children learn mostly by watching and absorbing. Your example models to them what a Great Man acts like. When they grow up, your sons will want to emulate that and your daughters will look for that in a partner.

  4. Studies have shown that children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression. Boys do better in school and girls have higher self-esteem.

  5. Most importantly, children learn about love first within the parent/child relationship. The ability to give love is directly related to the love we receive, especially during childhood. If children feel authentically loved by a father they will grow up knowing how to love others.

We recognize that there’s not a lot of conversation and support out there about the specific value of fathers. We are doing our part to rectify that.

    We want you to remember that even if it feels like no one is paying attention, there are those who are: your kids.

    They are waiting for your phone call, watching out the window, looking for your car, counting the days until they get to spend time with you. They don’t need special gifts or trips to Disneyland. What they crave is your attention, your unwavering love, and your calm, kind, and loving consistency.

    So here’s to you Great Fathers and Great Sons. Don’t forget when facing Fathers Day you are a highly valuable, treasured man to your kids, and you to your own father.

    Join A Community of Great Fathers

    There are a lot of fathers in the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb community. There are many ongoing topics being discussed, including the effect divorce has on children, how to negotiate custody, difficulties in co-parenting, etc etc.

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    author avatar
    Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
    Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.
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