How to Improve Your Marriage

We speak to me who want to know how to improve their marriage, but one of the most common things we hear them say when they first contact us is “My wife is unhappy but she doesn’t know what she wants. What can I do?”

If a woman knows what she wants then she’s probably heading toward it and she’ll let you know.

If she doesn’t know, then she’s probably heading away from what doesn’t feel good.

If you have distance in your marriage, the second one is probably true for you.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

The good news is that often the women (and people in general) in the second category are very willing to follow someone who leads the way to better feelings.

Steve and I were talking about this earlier in the week and comparing notes on how women often react negatively to me using that term, ‘taking the lead’ or ‘leading her’ or ‘leading the relationship‘.

I’m not talking about telling her what to do – as an adult woman she makes her own choices in life.

I’m talking about leading the emotional energy of the relationship.

How are you leading that recently?

Do you know what it means?

Do you know how to do it?

In the video below, which is a clip from the beginning of our recent Men’s Roundtable Live Group Coaching call, Steve and I talk about this more:

YouTube video

Being the leader of the emotional energy in your relationship means being the leader of YOUR emotional energy first.

Are you in control of your emotional energy or does it fluctuate depending on what other people do or say?

An easy way to know if you’re leading is paying attention to the kinds of questions that you are asking yourself.

Are you asking questions in your head about her and the relationship that start with “If only she would…”

Leading the emotional energy is not doing something to “get her” to loosen up and come closer to you or give you affection or sex.

Leading the emotional energy is deliberately choosing how you will face today, how you will deal with her or any adversity you encounter.

Leading the emotional energy in your relationship means you don’t need someone else to change first before you can be the man you love being.

Leading the emotional energy is CHOOSING to come from your value and your power.

What is your power?

It’s a place of knowing that you are a man who CREATES what he wants to experience in his life.

It’s a place of believing that you’re a man who is worthy of love, connection and affection.

It’s a place of knowing the value of who you are and what you have to offer.

Do you know that?

REALLY know that? In your bones?

If I asked you right now, could you tell me exactly WHY you are a man worthy of all the love you want to experience?

You have incredible gifts that people (especially the women in your life) love to receive from you.

When you know – TRULY KNOW – your value as a man, suddenly you will experience the power you have to create connection and intimacy wherever you go with anyone, anytime.

And when it happens to the men we coach, they say things like:

“I reclaimed myself! I rebooted my mind to grow and know my worth on my own without seeking approval from others (specifically my wife). Once you know your worth, you’ll be fine no matter what… no one can take that away from you (it’s so freeing!)

I am now more focused, fun, loving, confident, daring and calm… a better version of myself (even my wife said that… despite the fact that I’m clearly doing this for me first). House chores, cooking, doing groceries, RAISING KIDS, being sexual, sensual, flirty – I’m no longer scared or tentative! I’m actually doing fantastic and I feel like I’m succeeding in everything I set my mind to. I know I will be okay no matter what happens.

This mountain lion could not thank you enough.”

We help men show up in their relationship with the energy of a unapologetically sexual man.

We help men stop caring how other people react to them and relax into just being the confident sensual man they’ve always been.

And the women in their lives LOVE it!

Yes, you could work on this by reading more books, watching more videos and listening to more podcasts…I’ll see you here in a few years time (I did that for 10 years…10 years!!)

Other articles you may find helpful:

How To Talk Dirty To Your Wife
Cracking The Feminine Code

It took me deciding to reach out and connect with other initiated men who had walked this path before me to really start to make progress.

No more fear of rejection. No more caring if she reacts badly to your sexuality. No more depending on other people’s mood or behavior for you to have what you want.

At some point you have to own what you want.

At some point you have to own your role in creating that.

That is what we love to help men do.

We know exactly how you get in your own way. We know because we’ve been there and lived what you’re going through.

We will hold you accountable to changing your life.

No more excuses.

So my question for you is…

Do you take up the challenge to know the power you have to lead the emotional energy of your relationship?

I guarantee it will completely transform the connection and intimacy in your relationship.

In our coaching we take men through an intense program to build your self worth to the point where it is unshakeable. You no longer doubt yourself or your ability to handle future rejections with the lack of concern they truly require.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our Mastering Connection With Women course starts again in May lead by Dan and Alexis – Receive live feedback on your energy and confidence. Find out what you need to do to own your sexuality and masculinity. Navigate tests and create more connection and intimacy with ease. Find out more and signup here.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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