Relationships are like farting. If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.
~ Kevin Hart
You know me and my metaphors. I love this one.
You know those “silent but deadly farts” you and your brother giggled about for hours? Yeah?
Well there’s an equivalent kind of “fart” in every relationship.
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It’s the silent, unspoken, curiously nasty smell of secret “disapproval, disappointment and dissatisfaction.”
If one or more people in a relationship are holding the smoldering hot gases of disapproval, disappointment or dissatisfaction, you can bet it is silently hissing out of their pores.
YOU think you’re clever. But everyone can smell it. And the wind is coming from your direction.
Why is this a “divorce predictor”?
Because it falls under the category of “judgment and contempt”.
Gottman research shows an amazingly strong correlation between relationship farts and impending divorce.
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I don’t need to explain it to you. I think you know exactly what it smells like if your wife is oozing that nasty gas
And you hate it, don’t you? Makes you want to fart back doesn’t it? Makes you want to start a “fart war”.
Don’t do it.
What if you knew how to not only suppress your farts, but how to change your THINKING so the fart doesn’t form in the first place?
I did a podcast recently with my friend and colleague Shana James who also works mostly with men in relationships with women.
We had a blast in this conversation. Let me know if you learn anything new or helpful.
Here’s what we cover:
- The havoc insecurity wreaks on dates and relationships, and how to create secure bonds
- Covert contracts – the transactional idea that if you do what someone else wants, they’ll give you what you want
- The lack of male role models in love
- The poison of expectation, entitlement, judgment, pressure, and resentment
- The story of Steve’s coach telling him: “You’re not yet the kind of guy who gets to have more sex and intimacy”
- What to do when someone doesn’t feel valued or loved
- The ineffectiveness of competition, trying to fix someone, and trying to get needs met
- The power of a mature relationship where compassion, empathy and understanding goes both ways
- How feelings of belonging, vulnerability, and being understood, seen, valued and heard, create incredibly sexy experiences
- The shift from disappointment, disapproval, and dissatisfaction to acceptance, approval, and admiration
- The power of your mind to create more love
- A new way to think about confidence and security
Are you ready to become the master of your Fart Domain?
The four opportunities below are simple and easy ways you can take action sooner than later. They will help you become a “Ninja Fart Master”.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
