Not Getting Triggered and Managing Your Emotions

Do you struggle with not getting triggered in your marriage or romantic relationship? Most men do at some point in their lives. Being triggered feels crappy and things very rarely work out well from that point onwards…so what can you do to avoid it?

So there I was today…at the top of a mountain trying to square up the foundation poles for a He Shed/She Shed.

I’m becoming one of those “old guys” now who patiently and painstakingly measures twice and cuts once.

I’ve become absolutely laser focused on getting the important things right because I know that without a square floor this shed will fight me every step of the way.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

I’ll make mistakes – no doubt about that. But it won’t be because I started out with a freaking trapezoid for a floor!

I still take short cuts that result in me smashing my finger between an actual rock and a hard place. A little blood helps make the project memorable.

So allow me to get to my point and, yes, I do have one.

First watch this video where I explain the concept of “measuring your manhood”.

How to Measure Your Manhood

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

I want to give you one new way to think about measuring your manhood.

This one unit of measure is something every great man must pay attention to on a daily basis.

It’s a reliable way to know if you’re being the “good man” Marcus Aurelius is talking about in the above quote.

It’s a measurement of the amount of time it takes for to return to your inner mountain lion after a major triggering event.

Every single one of us has a temper tantrum throwing, over-reacting, competitive, argumentative, insecure and immature little fu*&er living inside of us.

The extent to which we are aware of him and able to father him is the extent to which we will feel like a little boy or a good man.

Think about all the things that can trigger the little guy in your relationship.

  • Being criticized
  • Being yelled atGetting rebuffed for affection or sex
  • Getting the silent treatment
  • Being threatened with divorce!
  • Your favorite here.

Your homework for this week is to REDUCE THE TIME IT TAKES TO RE-CENTER YOURSELF after any trigger. Lower your heart-rate. Slow your breathing. Take a deep breath and smile and the little shit who was trying to get you to over-react.

The more we stew in anger, resentment, bitterness and fear the more ugly, scary and undependable we are.

The longer we allow OUTSIDE CIRCUMSTANCES to rattle us off our strong, squared foundation the more pathetic and ashamed we feel inside.

Good news. You have everything you need to do this. You don’t need anyone else to stop triggering you. You need to learn how to manage your own triggers! And when a man learns how to do that, he can more calmly and EFFECTIVELY deal with the triggering behaviors and the people behind them.

In our community we talk about this stuff every single hour of every single day. I’m talking about all the dirty personal details and embarrassing moments a guy could possibly share. It’s incredible to watch men like you transform from angry, confused and afraid to happy, crystal clear and confident in a matter of weeks.

I get to watch this happen on our live group calls, in our secret Facebook groups and at our retreats. And I want more of it.

That means I want you to be a part of the incredibleness. These are the ways you can join the fun and start getting more of want you want from yourself and from your life – sooner than later.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. We lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have THREE LIVE coaching video calls per month. The support and camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

The How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb course is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, own your power, know what you want and know how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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