What to Do When Your Wife is Always Angry With You

I want to talk about psychology at a very basic level.

Just getting a clear picture of WHY we do the silly, stupid things we do when we’re afraid should be enough to help you make a shift as soon as today.

Have you ever tried to hit a golf ball toward the green with a 10 acre pond immediately to your right? Yeah. It makes you nervous. It makes one eyeball glance constantly at the one thing you really DON’T want.

And then you take a tentative, teeth clenching swing at the ball…and even before you hit it you know it won’t turn out well. It’s a 3/4 swing. You don’t trust yourself and you’re playing small.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

That situation happens at least 10 times a day for men in a relationship that isn’t going well.

Why?

Because he’s like a race car driver running in the back of the pack staring at the wall. He can’t steer, accelerate, brake or pass anyone properly because he has one eye on the damn wall at all times.

In his relationship, the “wall” is something else. It’s FEAR. It’s his fear of her not liking him. Fear of making her mad. Fear of LOSING HER.

And when we “drive” through life and relationships with fears like those, we spend most of our time on the defensive. And in romantic relationships with women…that’s the most ineffective, unattractive and unsexy position to drive from.

We argue, get defensive, play games, retaliate, pout and disconnect.

Women can smell our fear of failure and our dependence on their approval at a molecular level. They can see our one eye ball glancing around trying to avoid the discomfort of her anger and rejection.

How do you stop doing this?

Just like the golfer and the race car driver.

Practice. Then more practice.

Just like them, you must learn the massive importance of driving your life without fear. You first have to know WHY fear is keeping you from swinging a club, driving a car and LOVING A WOMAN properly.

Once you know this and believe this, you can choose to change it.

Just like in the book “The Art of Racing in the Rain” (great book, by the way), when you first experience the confidence of driving with your wheels sliding through a turn, you will drive better and faster than everyone around you.

And it will look like MAGIC to everyone watching. Nobody will know that the reason you make it look so effortless is because, unlike everyone else, you’re not afraid of pushing the scary edge.

How would it feel to “drive” like that in your relationship and in dating?

How magical would it look to everyone watching if you conquered your fear of being rejected, making her mad or even losing her?

How would you respond to everything differently?

How would you use your new calm, relaxed mindset to create a more connected and passionate relationship?

YouTube video

So how do you handle being in front of an agitated, angry or irritated woman?

What do you do when she’s letting off steam in your direction?

The key is….to stay put.

Stand Your Ground.

Keep your feet where they are.

The temptation is to dart your eyes away. To avoid.

The temptation is to move away, to the garage, the basement, anywhere but there.

Why am I telling you this is important?

It’s because the feeling you create within her when you become fearful, frightened or you start to escape CREATES FEAR IN HER.

It creates a sense of emotional unsafety, emotional tentativeness, an emotional disconnection from you.

And it can make her even angrier!

Have you ever had a woman get angry at you for not being present? For not standing with her when she’s mad?

It sounds crazy…why would you want to stay there with her when she’s like that? Why would you want to do that?

If you know her motivation. If you know the secret behind why she needs you to stay put and stay present – it isn’t so she can control you or berate you.

It’s so she can FEEL THAT YOU’RE STRING ENOUGH TO STAND WITH HER when she is irritated, agitated and angry.

If you can take the perspective that she may be irritated, agitated and angry without it being anything to do with you.

If you can take that perspective and know that her emotions don’t mean that you’re a bad person, a horrible husband or a pathetic man (which is often how we process feminine stress and chaos and anger).

If you can pull the curtain back and KNOW that almost all the time, the agitation, irritation and the anger is not directly related to you as a human being and that the best thing you can do for her as a human being, partner and lover, is to stand with her and calmly gaze at her and just listen.

Just listen…

There are three words that can be SO useful in this kind of situation…

Tell Me More

These are the three hottest words you can say to a woman in the middle of her agitation, irritation and anger.

Don’t fight. Don’t resist. Don’t run. Just stand there.

This is how one guy put it yesterday in an email to me. I do not make this stuff up. I don’t have to. Scott said:

“Let’s just say we broke our 2 week dry spell and it was amazing! What an intimate connection. The rest of the night we laughed and had a blast. Keeping the “Mountain Lion Mojo” in the forefront of your mind projects such an amazing energy into the world.”

The only difference between you and Scott is that he committed to learning how to “drive”. He is conquering his “good guy” fears of not being liked, of being rejected and of being alone. And he’s learning to drive in his relationship with a 4 tires sliding through the curves with total control – and a grin.

Do you want this? Of course you do. It will change your life.

Contact me here to arrange a free consultation call to talk about the race you’ve been running and how you are going to move up into the pack – slowly, surely and with a grin on your face.

I only expect you to show up honestly and openly. Find a quiet spot. We will be talking for at least an hour and you will feel better at the end than you’ve felt all month.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

We respect your privacy, read our privacy policy here