My Wife Said She’s Not Attracted to Me Anymore

This may make all the sense in the world to some of you and to others, it won’t.

We talk to a lot of men who have similar characteristics…

They are intelligent, successful in their careers, good partners, committed parents, loving sons, brothers and friends…

In every area of their lives they have respect, admiration and confidence, except at home in their most important relationship with their wife or partner.

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At home things are stuck. He feels tense and unsure, she is shut down and quiet. It’s like the passion has stalled.

It’s not for lack of competence or ability that we can end up frustrated in our relationships, we’re more than willing to learn…

So what is the key to having unshakeable confidence with our wives?

What makes some men able to create those feelings inside their partner that make her relax and open up to invite him in and connect in all the ways that we love being intimate with her?

I talk more about this in the video below:

YouTube video

“The first rule to success, is knowing where to look”

Confidence isn’t something you can just choose to have, it’s a result from taking action.

Taking action will always make change happen, but it’s important to recognise how you’re measuring those actions.

Where you’re focusing your attention when you make decisions and take action will determine whether you are successful and eventually become more confident.

When we’re trying to control how another person responds to us or the circumstance that we find ourselves in, we will always be fighting a losing battle.

The tools to make your partner relax and open up aren’t somewhere to be found in a hidden panel. There’s no combination lock to her heart.

The path to reconnecting with her is actually a path of self discovery.

That’s why I love this boat analogy, although for me I would choose types of motorbike (I suffer from motion sickness on boats).

What type of boat are you?

What does the ride feel like?

How responsive is the engine?

What about the finish inside?

When it’s in full flow, how does it make you feel?





How does it make you feel alive?

How does this relate to your relationship struggles?

We often talk about it being the man’s role to lead the relationship to a more connected, open, honest and passionate place.

And to do that, first he must get clear on who he is and what he brings to the table – what kind of boat he is. He must understand WHY he offers an amazing ride to those who are willing to sail with him.

To lead your relationship, first you have to learn to lead yourself, to not only imagine, but to KNOW that you’re showing up consistently with all your features turned on and fully functioning.

This takes self awareness – especially an awareness of which parts of you need a service?

Often we are completely unaware of these malfunctioning parts. We think we’re purring along perfectly, loving the feeling of the ride until suddenly we lose power.

This is why it’s so important to have other men in your life who’ve been through the same experiences. Men who can show you how to service yourself and get you back to peak performance and a love for the ride.

You need to know how to love and care for yourself so that you can be strong enough to love and care for someone else.

Leading yourself means learning how to give her something to follow.

Focusing on what your partner is or isn’t doing for you is keeping your engine malfunctioning. All the while that you do, you will never be able to see what you need to be doing…for you.

And if you can’t see what you need to be doing to enable you to show up as the boat you love to be, you will react to everything. You will mirror negative energy. You will find yourself arguing, complaining and nagging over stupid things.

You will end up negotiating, sacrificing and compromising the very values you know can lead to an amazing relationship.

Leading yourself means you’re crystal clear on where you’re going.

It also means knowing when to not follow someone who isn’t capable of going where you’re going.

If you don’t know where you’re going you’re probably following someone else’s lead and you’ll someday wake up and wonder how you got here.

If you want to find that luxurious, calm, confident but also exciting and adventurous man inside you again you need other men who understand what you’re going through to help you see where you’re holding yourself back. Men who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make and encourage you to keep on improving until you feel better about yourself than you ever have before.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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