How Long Will It Take To Re-Attract Your Wife?

A desperate husband wants to see results NOW. You can re-attract your wife, but not if you’re checking the clock. I’m going to illustrate why desperation feels like implied pressure and judgment. Stopping this WILL improve your relationship!

Have you ever read an advice column question and started to answer it before you read the “expert’s” answer?

Believe it or not, I did this every Sunday morning starting at 13 years old. It was the Ann Landers advice column in the Sunday paper – just opposite of the comics page I was pretending to read.

I guess I was destined for this career.

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So now when I get questions from men about their marriage and sexual relationships I often share them with you…like the one below.

If you’re anything like me, you might want to close your eyes and think about how you would answer it. Then you can read my answer below.

Question from “Tony”:

“Are there any consistencies in how long it usually takes a wife to ‘recover’ from her hurt and anger toward me? When is it appropriate to start enforcing what I stand for? Wait for our ‘agreed upon’ 6-month time frame? I’m working on myself and wondering how long before she wants me again. I wonder if I just don’t “get it” yet, at least not fully. Any thoughts?”

Answer:

Hi Tony,

This is a very common question with a complex answer. Everyone wants to know “how long” before things get back to normal in a situation like yours.

The complexity is that asking that question frequently – even in your head – is precisely what sets up the tension, pressure, implied judgment and disappointment that she can FEEL from you on a daily basis.

This is what most guys don’t get. You have to REALLY, REALLY stop giving a shit about progress, about goals and about timelines. Only then are you truly trustable with a woman in your wife’s current state of mind and emotions.

You have to stay in a lane of your own…happy, secure, engaged, motivated and inspired to live your own damn life. You lose resentment and expectation. You love more deeply than ever. You accept her more than ever before. And you consistently hold her in a position of high regard in your heart and your thoughts even on the hardest days.

It MAY be enough over time to help her re-engage in the intimacy you want in your marriage. It definitely won’t happen without that kind of commitment.

Here’s the other complexity.

Until you become that man and husband, you will feel resentful, impatient and confused as your marriage unfolds in front of you. You won’t be prepared to see and accept her bids to connect. You will continue to make stupid mistakes in how you show up. And you won’t have the courage and confidence to say and do the things necessary to invite her into the marriage you want to live.

This is what we teach in our coaching community. I’d love for you to think about joining us…maybe the Roundtable or the Defuse the Divorce Bomb group would be perfect for you.

Lotta love,
Steve

Then he replied:

“Steve, with all due respect, this approach seems vague and open-ended. Is there any evidence you have gathered over the years that provides some proof that this approach works, in other words, will this approach begin the process of re-attracting your wife.. ? It’s hard going being separated and not knowing when or if your wife will want you back in the marital home.”

Then I replied:

One of the things I always point out about us guys is that we want to know what “works”. We want data. We want a full risk assessment and statistics to know whether or not a solution is going to give us the outcome we want.

If you ask any man in this community you will find 100% agreement that that does not “work”. It makes things worse 100% of the time because it is devoid of confidence, maturity, emotional security and empathy.

We also know in this community that any man who has achieved a successful reconnection and reinvention of his relationship started by successfully reconnecting and reinventing himself and to stop trying to engineer outcomes and to control or manipulate others.

In this video, I explain what it means to reconnect with yourself before worrying about others reconnecting with you.

YouTube video

The Secret to Getting Her to Give You What You Want

Ask Yourself How Long It’s Been Since You’ve Felt Connected To Your Own Happiness Instead Of Asking How Long It Will Take To Re-Attract Your Wife

If you are a man who is ready to reconnect with yourself and put an end to the nervous, anxious, impatient frustration in your relationship…then we’re ready for you.

Steel sharpens steel.

You can only do this with other men who will challenge you, teach you and share your feelings.

Marriage can feel like the giant sucking sound of rejection and frustration.

Those feelings are not created by her. They are the sole creation of our own thinking and disconnection from our natural, happy, bad-ass self.

Patience is king while re-attracting your wife. Creating trust and safety should be your priority. These new energies will awaken a NEW version of your relationship!

If you think you’re ready to start building REAL attraction, then I want to see your face in this incredible group of men doing the work. It’s called…

The Goodguys2Greatmen Live Coaching Roundtable

Strong men. Warriors who are facing the challenge.
Trusted men. Brothers who have your back at all times.
Compassionate men. Friends who make you feel safe to share your story.

Trust me, you will be welcomed with open arms.

I’m sure you have a lot of wisdom to share with us as well.

We also have the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb course as a self-taught online course. A course that is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

We love teaching men these tools one-on-one. Learn how to be better, how to know who you are, own your power, know what you want and know how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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