Have you ever been driving along on a snow packed road in total control of your car…dashboard drumming to the radio…and all of the sudden…the car starts sliding out of control!
It’s the same feeling when you’re leaning back in a chair in school and for a split second you feel like you’re falling backwards.
Your stomach gets knotted and all of your survival mechanisms kick in.
Your heart rate is racing, you’re sweating, breathing fast and wide-eyed as you try to recover control.
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Kinda like when you first find out your woman is pulling away and your relationship is falling apart.
“I think we should spend some time apart.”
“I don’t think we have a connection anymore – we never really did.”
“I need space to figure out what I really want – it’s not about you…it’s me!”
Yeah, that stuff.
One thing I know for sure is that over-reacting doesn’t work.
Most guys steer the car right into a ditch.
This video is about a different mindset. One where you take control, but gently.
Then when you lose control of the car you “steer the car in the direction you want to go.”
What the hell does that mean?
I explain more here.
I got the topic for this article while thinking about tires!
I had to get tires the other day so I was reading reviews and the reviews said the traction quality of this tire is not the best and I started to think “Oh shit, I got those tires” – of course I read the reviews AFTER I bought them! So I then start thinking “what if I start sliding around on wet pavement?”
These are big winter tires so they should be good for snow but sometimes when you get onto wet pavement they’ll start sliding out from under you.
Have you experienced being on ice, snow or a wet road, when your tires break away, all four of them at the same time? You lose all sense of traction, you lose all sense of control.
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You know that feeling?
I KNOW that feeling. I’ve felt it many times.
It’s anxiety. It’s fear. It’s the sense of not having control. It’s the sense of not knowing which way to turn.
When you’re feeling anxiety, fear, sadness, depression or overwhelm – you need to steer in the direction of the skid.
Most people don’t know what that means.
The easier way to remember it is to steer the car (or truck in my case) in the direction that you want to go.
When you feel like your life is skidding out of control, for example, when a woman has rejected you or you think you’re getting divorced or you’re worried that she’s messing around on you. You don’t feel good enough. You don’t feel confident. You feel small and sad. When you feel that stuff, that’s the out of control, four wheel skidding feeling.
You have to steer in the direction of the skid – steer in the direction that you want to go.
So what does that mean in relation to life?
It means that you have to know your vehicle. You have to know your body. You have to know who you are and what you stand for. You have to know your value. You have to know your capability. You have to know where you’re going.
How can you steer in the direction of the skid or point the car in the direction that you want to go if you don’t know where you’re going?
You have to know who you are, how you’re driving, what it is you want and where you’re going – that is how race car drivers finally get comfortable skidding their tires around a track.
It’s also how we get comfortable as men, sliding our way through life and through some pretty dark places, like when a relationship is falling apart, when your wife is distancing away from you, when you feel sexually unattractive or undesired. That overwhelm, that anxious feeling can only be resolved when you steer in the direction that you want to go.
That’s what we love to do. We help you find out who you are, what you want and where you want to go.
If you don’t know what direction you’re going…any road will get you there.
The most important thing you need is CLARITY about who you are, what you really want in life and how to steer yourself in that direction.
When you feel like you’re losing control of yourself, your life or your relationship you need to know how to regain control.
How you’re thinking drives how you’re feeling. And when you are thinking clearly you become the master of your emotions.
And from there you make solid decisions and take decisive action.
That’s what I want for you…calm, confident clarity and deliberate thinking and decisive actions.
Want to talk more about taking control of your life?
This is what we do for men – one man at a time – with our 90-Day Masculine Confidence Intensive.
Dan Dore (my associate coach in the UK) and I are here to guide you on this mission.
If you want to become a man who is back in control of his direction in life and who is no longer stuck in paralyzing fear and anxiety over the circumstances you find yourself in, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
