How Do I Stop Being An Insecure Husband?

Her phone is going off… Who is she texting? She got home late… Was she out seeing someone? When you didn’t confront your mom, she called you a pussy. Now you’re not sure who is harder to confront… Your mom or her? Being an insecure husband is miserable. You don’t enjoy the feeling any more than she does. I’m going to show you why insecurity loses its grip when your thinking changes.

And guess what? I’m not really interested in your “feelings”.

Yeah, I know being a man is tough. Being in a relationship is tough.

But all of it is tougher when you’re being yanked around by your feelings on a daily basis.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

Part of being a mature, confident and clear-headed man is knowing that while your “feelings” are normal and healthy, they are NOT your reality.

Becoming a master of your emotional world demands that you change your relationship with your “feelings”. This means you’re going to have to change your relationship with your “thoughts”.

Here’s the problem:

A nervous, unhappy and insecure husband has a habit of “living the feeling of his thinking”.

This means he allows his random thoughts, beliefs and projections to drive an endless parade of negative emotions.

He feels like he is a passenger in a roller coaster of “feeling” and has no particular agency or responsibility for changing the thinking at the root of his constant anxious, angry and/or unhappy reactions to life.

Is this you? Who else do you know who might be living this reality?

I know. This may sound strange to you.

But this wisdom is thousands of years old!

The most confident, calm, wise, clear headed and HAPPY people in the world are those who have come to terms with their own ability – and responsibility – for changing the WAY THEY THINK about the cards they are dealt every day.

This is why I don’t really want to “talk about your feelings”.

I want to talk about your THINKING!

So I will…in this video.

Here’s something NEW to think which I guarantee will change the way you feel.

YouTube video

Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Your “Feelings”

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~ Sir William Jones

We have dozens of complimentary consultations every month with men who have been afraid of what they are FEELING.

They use words like lonely, scared, rejected, dismissed, ignored, replaced, inadequate, frustrated, uncertain and confused.

We will spend one to two hours speaking with you to help you immediately relax and focus. We demonstrate the power of having a wise mentor in your corner to challenge your emotional roller coaster and to teach you how to do a better job of thinking about your thinking.

This is our favorite reaction.

“Dude, I just got more out of this call than I’ve gotten from 3 years of freakin’ therapy!! Why isn’t anyone telling men this stuff?!”

What stuff?

1. We talk about what’s really happening with your marriage, wife and sex life.

2. We tell you things about being a man your father never told you…and how you’ve been avoiding the most powerful part of being a man.

3. We take you through an exercise to experience the thrill of changing your perspective and HOW YOU’RE THINKING at this very moment.

That’s when you immediately FEEL something different than just an hour earlier.

Yeah. I know. Sounds crazy. I love this stuff and it’s why I can’t stop writing and talking about it. I want that for you too, brother.

Think about it. Perhaps the most courageous, decisive and masculine thing you can do right now is asking for a chat.

Strong men ask for help. Everyone else sits around waiting for something to change.

Feeling like an insecure husband can change!  A new mindset can make you calm and secure. Confidence comes from how you THINK about your wife’s actions, not the actions themselves.

Click this link to go to the Contact page on my site.

Fill out the unusually personal questions.

Be honest. Be thorough.

Let us show you something (like a new way of thinking) you didn’t expect.

That’s a promise.

And if you’re on the edge of divorce with threats of leaving or requests for “space” then the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course would be perfect. This course taught by coach Tim Wade and I also has a large, active group of powerful men who support each other on a daily basis. It’s possible that the group interaction is more valuable than the 9 hours of video coaching in the course!

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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