Hey brother,
I’ll make this short and sweet.
Stop arguing about stupid shit.
Yep. That’s pretty much it.
The 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage >>
I hear about stupid arguments and heavy conversations all the time.
They are usually over the most ridiculous crap that somebody (you know who) has escalated into a grand jury trial.
It’s not your fault that she is launching the silly attack, but it is your fault that you take the bait.
I know how tempting it is. Her inner 13 year old girl throws out yet another controlling, critical comment and then YOUR inner 13 year old boy is ready for war.
Yeah, just like we did when we were kids.
But you’re not a kid anymore.
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You’re adult man. Powerful. Wise. Mature.
You’re also her LOVER. The ONLY MAN on this planet who is allowed to kiss her, hug her and make love to her. So act like HIM.
The best way to respond to ridiculous, controlling or critical complaints is though your lover energy.
This guy doesn’t defend himself because he doesn’t feel threatened.
This guy doesn’t get drawn into stupid arguments because he finds her attractive and amusing. She doesn’t scare him.
This guy doesn’t feel bad about himself just because she is pissy. He already knows he has stepped up to the plate and her issues are not his.
In other words, he’s good in his own skin and unrattled by whatever is going on with her.
In this video, I explain more about the type of “Lover Response” you need and the mindset you need to adopt to feel strong and confident again.
Things will change if you are consistent and detached from her approval of you
Starting tomorrow, let’s all take the pledge to see this conversation coming and promise to kill it on sight.
This conversation is called, “Let’s talk about why I am right and why you’re wrong.”
This is the most aggravating, angering, unattractive, non-sexy, belittling, and judgmental conversation you can have with your romantic partner.
It suffocates ANY preexisting feelings of intimacy, attraction, trust, or respect.
Do it too much and you progress to the next phase of a declining relationship called the: “I resent you and your self-righteous ass so much I can’t imagine being alone with you let alone letting you touch me”, stage.
We’ve all done it from time to time. Once in a while it is forgivable. But if it becomes a pattern, you’re doomed.
Does this apply to both men and women?
You betcha.
Romance 101
By romance I’m talking about that safe, comfortable, trusting, cozy, mushy-mushy feeling of being accepted, approved, desired, and even CELEBRATED by your partner.
It’s based in the simple chemistry of mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.
Getting to that point is so easy early in our relationships, isn’t it?
Why?
Because we haven’t had time to screw it up yet.
How do we screw it up?
By doing anything perceived by your partner to be unattractive, distrustful, disrespectful, and unadoring. It never matters what we meant or what we intended. When our lovers perceive our thoughts, words, and actions as destructive or unhealthy, it’s time to stop and take a look at what we’re doing.
It’s called, “self-awareness”. It’s about caring about your energy and how you impact the feelings of others.
And it’s enormously important when it comes to knowing when to change gears. Change the tone. Change the energy.
How the Bad Energy Appears to Others
Bad energy feels like you want to be right more than you want to be happy.
Bad energy feels annoying and critical.
Bad energy feels intolerant, incapable, and unwilling to see another view.
Bad energy feels like one person is smart and the other must be stupid.
Bad energy feels ugly and emotionally unsafe.
Bad energy looks insecure, whiny, needy, and lacking in confidence.
Bad energy feels like a total lack of acceptance.
Bad energy feels like an intentional attack on your well-being.
Bad energy is a total turn-off. (click for more on that)
How the Good Energy Feels to Others
Exactly opposite of everything above.
Then add an underlying spritz of masculine or feminine love and approval.
Then top it off with a dash of unconditional acceptance and adoration.
Imagine one of the BEST days you’ve ever spent with your lover.
Yeah, it feels like that.
Can’t We Ever Argue or Disagree?
Of course. Absolutely. You will. You must.
But be aware of the choices you make in HOW you argue and disagree.
You can choose a tone, words, and actions that result in 100% romance sabotage.
Or you can choose those that actually result in good energy.
When done well and done correctly, your arguments and disagreements can actually INCREASE mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.
Why Would you Choose Otherwise?
Let’s talk about that. The answers to that question are at the very ROOT of your next breakthrough. Once you get those answers and start your transformation, you will be amazed at why you didn’t do this years ago.
This is the tip of the iceberg for you. Let’s get to work on your very unique set of problems and solutions. The HOW TO part of our program will blow your doors off.
Schedule your discovery call today to find out if you’re a fit to join me in creating a new level of good energy in your relationship.
Set aside some time and be ready to commit as much heart and soul to the conversation as I am.
I double-dog dare you to step up.
This is what happens if you do:
“I feel like I am becoming the man I want to be and my relationship is improving because of it. My only regret is that I lost some good years with my wife. The Masculine Confidence Intensive Coaching Program has helped me realize that the future will not be lost and I am looking forward to many fantastic years ahead with my wife. I not only appreciate Steve as a life coach but he has now become my friend.”
Steve – Wyoming
“I was not sure a “man’s coach” could help me overcome some long-standing fear and personal blocks. After talking with Steve initially, it seemed worth a try. Over three intense sessions of understanding my problem (me), Steve provided resources and role-plays on how to get out of my own way. He gave tools to understand my gifts in a relationship, as well as confidence in making commitments and embracing a loving relationship.”
Deanna – Fort Collins
And as I explain in the video, there may be times when her input is dead nuts, balls on accurate. She may have a really solid point or idea you should listen to.
You need to know the difference between her efforts to collaborate and contribute as a partner and her insecure needs to criticize and control you.
Your responses must be different. And when you learn how to deliver the LOVER ENERGY response, you will feel much better about the whole thing.
She probably won’t love it at first because you’re deflecting her anger and attempts to control you. That’s fine. Let her feel what it’s like to be around an amused, unrattled lover for a change instead of the little guy who just wants to defend himself.
Things will change if you are consistent and detached from her approval.
If you’re ready to understand how to RESPOND to her like her MAN not her child, below are some options for you to start right away…
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
