The Romance Killing Conversation You Must Stop Dead in its Tracks

By:  Steve Horsmon

Hey there,

Starting tomorrow, let’s all take the pledge to see this conversation coming and promise to kill it on sight.

This conversation is called, “Let’s talk about why I am right and why you’re wrong.”

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This is the most aggravating, angering, unattractive, non-sexy, belittling, and judgmental conversation you can have with your romantic partner.

It suffocates ANY preexisting feelings of intimacy, attraction, trust, or respect.

Do it too much and you progress to the next phase of a declining relationship called the:

“I resent you and your self-righteous ass so much I can’t imagine being alone with you let alone letting you touch me”, stage.

We’ve all done it from time to time. Once in a while it is forgivable.  But if it becomes a pattern, you’re doomed.

Does this apply to both men and women?

You betcha.

Romance 101

By romance I’m talking about that safe, comfortable, trusting, cozy, mushy-mushy feeling of being accepted, approved, desired, and even CELEBRATED by your partner.

It’s based in the simple chemistry of mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.

Getting to that point is so easy early in our relationships, isn’t it?  Why?

Because we haven’t had time to screw it up yet.

How do we screw it up?

By doing anything perceived by your partner to be unattractive, distrustful, disrespectful, and unadoring.   It never matters what we meant or what we intended.  When our lovers perceive our thoughts, words, and actions as destructive or unhealthy, it’s time to stop and take a look at what we’re doing.

It’s called, “self-awareness”.  It’s about caring about your energy and how you impact the feelings of others.

And it’s enormously important when it comes to knowing when to change gears.  Change the tone.  Change the energy.

 

How the Bad Energy Appears to Others

  • Bad energy feels like you want to be right more than you want to be happy.
  • Bad energy feels annoying and critical.
  • Bad energy feels intolerant, incapable, and unwilling to see another view.
  • Bad energy feels like one person is smart and the other must be stupid.
  • Bad energy feels ugly and emotionally unsafe.
  • Bad energy looks insecure, whiny, needy, and lacking in confidence.
  • Bad energy feels like a total lack of acceptance.
  • Bad energy feels like an intentional attack on your well-being.

 

How the Good Energy Feels to Others

Exactly opposite of everything above.

Then add an underlying spritz of masculine or feminine love and approval.

Then top it off with a dash of unconditional acceptance and adoration.

Imagine one of the BEST days you’ve ever spent with your lover.

Yeah, it feels like that.

 

Can’t We Ever Argue or Disagree?

Of course.  Absolutely.  You will.  You must.

But be aware of the choices you make in HOW you argue and disagree.

You can choose a tone, words, and actions that result in 100% romance sabotage.

Or you can choose those that actually result in good energy.

When done well and done correctly, your arguments and disagreements can actually INCREASE mutual attraction, trust, respect, and adoration.

Why Would you Choose Otherwise?

Let’s talk about that.  The answers to that question are at the very ROOT of your next breakthrough. Once you get those answers and start your transformation, you will be amazed at why you didn’t do this years ago.

This is the tip of the iceberg for you.  Let’s get to work on your very unique set of problems and solutions.  The HOW TO part of our program will blow your doors off.

Schedule your discovery call today to find out if you’re a fit to join me in creating a new level of good energy in your relationship.

Set aside some time and be ready to commit as much heart and soul to the conversation as I am.

I double-dog dare you to step up.

This is what happens if you do:

I feel like I am becoming the man I want to be and my relationship is improving because of it. My only regret is that I lost some good years with my wife. The Masculinity Tune-up has helped me realize that the future will not be lost and I am looking forward to many fantastic years ahead with my wife. I not only appreciate Steve as a life coach but he has now become my friend.

 Steve – Wyoming

I was not sure a “man’s coach” could help me overcome some long-standing fear and personal blocks.  After talking with Steve initially, it seemed worth a try.  Over three intense sessions of understanding my problem (me), Steve provided resources and role-plays on how to get out of my own way.  He gave tools to understand my gifts in a relationship, as well as confidence in making commitments and embracing a loving relationship.

Deanna – Fort Collins

To Better Life and Love,

Steve

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

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