What Is Being A Strong Man?

What does “Being A Strong Man” mean in work, in society but especially in a long term, committed, romantic and struggling marriage?

How do you learn how to be a man who thrives in a deeply rewarding relationship with a woman?

A lot of men are confused.

Be sensitive
Be a strong man
Take the lead
Don’t be controlling
Be you
​​​​​​​Don’t be a narcissist
Be considerate
Know what you want
Be a nice guy
Don’t be a nice guy
Be generous
Don’t be a doormat
Ask my permission
Just f*ck me

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And it’s easy to see why!!

We try our best to care for and please our women but they don’t seem to be happy.

All the books and courses tell you different things.

However, there’s one thing which we know has changed in recent history.

The insight and advice that our fathers, mentors and other older male role models used to teach younger men about what it means to be a man is no longer happening.

Women are complaining that men don’t show leadership anymore, men don’t make decisions and they don’t take responsibility anymore.

Yet when we do, we’re called controlling and inconsiderate.

Arghhh!! So what do you do??

I talk more about it in the video below:

YouTube video

You can’t please everybody all the time. Being a strong man means having high moral standards, being self-disciplined, being decisive, having strength in your convictions, being honest and having the courage to face difficulties. It’s being confident and self-reliant. ~ Elliot Katz, Being The Strong Man A Woman Wants

With all the conflicting messages it’s easy to see how we get to the point of disconnection and discontent in our relationships.

But the thing that stands out so clearly for most of the men we talk to (and I raise my hand as I say this, because this was me too), is that we’re trying so hard to “get it right” that we’ve become afraid of making the wrong decision.

In 99% of the situations you deal with in a relationship, it’s less important whether the decision you make is “right” or “wrong,” and it’s much more important that you believe you have agency to make that decision and take the lead. That you trust your intention and direction.

She may have a different perspective, she may have different motivations and fears. She may argue and criticise and question you and your decision.

None of that matters when you have faith in who you are, where you’re headed and WHY.

You see, her objections aren’t about you, they’re about her, and that’s OK. In fact, that’s something you’re interested in learning more about.

I’m not saying you should accept abuse – name calling and shaming should be called out and the conversation stopped until you can carry on without them.

Being strong means stepping forward to make decisions in difficult situations and taking responsibility for the outcome.

When you make decisions from a place of clarity as to WHY you’re making that decision, she can feel the difference, she can trust it. She may still test it, but the more you do this, the less those tests will come.

Making decisions from fear never works out well.

You may avoid the pain of making a mistake, you may avoid more of what you don’t want in that moment (arguing, complaining etc), but you won’t create what you really want (trust, respect etc).

How do you know which decision to make to get what you want?

First you have to know what you want.

In relationships we can be too focused on an outcome rather than showing that we care.

We treat it like a place to GET our needs met, to achieve our goals.

But that’s not how relationships work.

We must treat it like “farming”. You’re planting seeds and doing the ground work to give it the best shot at succeeding.

In long term relationships, TRUST and RESPECT are grown.

Some people think those things must come first and then you can finally open up and be honest and vulnerable with each other.

Never happens that way.

Honesty, openness and vulnerability need to come FIRST. Only then can trust and respect happen.

In our coaching we take men through an intense program to become the man you were always meant to be. It’s a process of rediscovering your enthusiasm for life and it changes who you are as a man.

Some ways for you to become a stronger man are:

Our Men’s Roundtable Community is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Steve and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The support and camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

The How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb course is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, own your power, know what you want and know how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

author avatar
Dan Dore Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Dan Dore is a certified professional Men’s Coach specialising in helping men who are struggling and feeling unhappy and unfulfilled i their life and relationships. With over 20,000 hours experience coaching men to completely resolve their self-esteem and confidence issues and improve their ability to create emotional connection, build trust, earn respect, and lead the sexual intimacy and affection in their relationship whenever they want. No more fearing rejection or other people’s opinion of you - I want to help you finally be happy in yourself and trust your ability to create anything you want in your future.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

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