The Quickest Way To Stop Hating Your Marriage

“She kept saying it – this is the best day ever!”

How long is it since you last heard someone say that to you?!

I love that quote. It’s from a client call I had last week – sounds pretty amazing huh?!

His marriage wasn’t in a good place. He wasn’t in a good place. Everything was straining and under pressure.

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So he decided to do something for himself, something that would allow him to relax and breathe again. At least for a while.

A simple decision to choose to do something positive for him when he could have stayed entrenched in trying to figure out the pain and confusion of what was going on with her.

That simple decision created an opportunity for something new to happen.

And when there’s an opportunity for something new to happen, there’s always a chance of having “The Best Day Ever.”

This best day came at a time when he really needed it too, but interestingly, he wasn’t TRYING to make it happen. In fact he was letting go of trying to change anything outside of himself.

Best day’s often happen that way.

The reason I want to tell you guys about it isn’t because it’s a success story or a result you can expect from the work that we do with men. It’s because what created the quote was something that any of us can do at any moment.

Yes, you have the power to hear someone you care about enjoying a great day spent in your company even when all signs point to misery and despair.

I talk more about it in the video below:

“When you focus on being you, you draw the best possible life, love, and opportunities toward you. ”

When we start working with a man it’s often really easy to get him to understand that he has to start making some changes to himself if he wants to see a difference in what he’s experiencing in his life and relationships.

That’s obvious, right!

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What’s not so obvious, is that those changes are much less about becoming a different person, than they are about recognising the person that he already is.

There’s good reason that you (and I) get to a point of believing people and circumstances need to be different to enjoy the love and affection we want.

It often starts with the belief that we have to be a certain way for others to want to give those things to us. These beliefs come from our upbringing when we were completely reliant on others to provide our needs for us.

Then we grow up, get married, have kids and all the while at no point has anyone ever sat us down and explained that we’re no longer reliant on other people for our happiness.

I know it seems ridiculous that a grown man might not believe that he doesn’t have to rely on anyone else, that he is responsible for himself now – and yes, it’s easy to know that’s true for the majority of our needs such as food, money, a home etc

But when we start talking about emotional needs and the importance of fun, laughter and affection to a man, then he often feels confused and frustrated because he still believes that he needs other people to have those things – he feels powerless and out of control.

How does this relate to having the best day ever?

When you start to realise that the negative feelings you’re struggling with come from beliefs that you were given rather than ones you chose for yourself, you start to see that much of what you’re experiencing comes from your focus on what you don’t have. And on top of that we often completely ignore what we do have.

That’s what I mean by recognising the person you already are.

Every man I speak to can tell me of times when he feels relaxed, when he feels happy, when he feels confident and calm. In those situations he knows exactly who he is.

But when his relationship is struggling, he can’t seem to bring that man out to play. He’s too gripped by fear.

In the story above, nothing’s changed in regards to the struggle and tension in the relationship, but by moving his focus from what’s going wrong outside of himself to making the inside of himself clear and calm, he reconnected with the man he truly is.

And by doing that, he relaxed and opened up. Then other people around him relaxed too. And when people around you can relax, they can come toward you, open up to connect with you, laugh with you, have fun, have a best day ever with you.

So my question for you is…

What decision or action are you going to choose to take today that will open up an opportunity for you to relax. For you to spend time just being yourself.

Try it. You just might find yourself (accidentally) having a best day ever!!

If you want to find that consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic man inside you again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make.

Come and join us in our online group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now.

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

You won’t find negative, hateful language.
You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

Have questions about your relationship?

Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.