My Wife Moved Out How Can I be Happy Again?

Did your your happiness and confidence disappear when your wife moved out? I’m going to tell you a story about me, a story about a holocaust survivor, and the CHOICE each of us made to create our own happiness.

Right now, A 125,000 acre wildfire is about 3 miles from burning down my house, barn and the new, beloved “She Shed/He Shed”.

Yeah, really.

I’m hanging out 40 miles away in the basement of a friend with my girlfriend in tow along with 2 dogs, 3 cats and 2 horses. I’m glad I have good friends I can lean on for help.

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It’s also good to have a grocery store 8 minutes away and about 25 pubs just 10 minutes away for the first time in my life. And I can still have my coaching sessions and get other projects done.

If the house burns down, I’ve got insurance. It’ll be a pain but it won’t be the end of the world.

You might say, “Damn, you’re handling this well!” And you would be right.

And so would you. Am I right?

I bet you typically respond to hardship, difficulty, challenges and unfortunate situations like a WARRIOR. You face it head-on – make plans – make stuff happen and plow through. Nothing scares you that much.

Even when things are 100% out of your control, you learn quickly you can RESPOND with clear, decisive action and take the lead. And when you do that you feel better, calmer and more in control of the stuff you can control.

My Happiness Comes From Focusing On What I Can Control

So if us dudes are that good with most of the inconveniences of life, why do we completely lose it when facing rejection or the possibility of divorce?

It’s the ONE FRONTIER where a man can feel not only powerless…but entirely incapable of thinking clearly. The threat of failure, abandonment and upheaval of his “master plan” creates paralysis.

He can’t respond to anything. Everything feels like an emotional reaction…24/7.

And that’s when we normally first hear from him.

Watch this short video about what happens next.

How to Respond to the Threat of Divorce

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl wrote about his experience in a Nazi concentration camp.

He was stripped of everything a man could possibly be stripped of.

Even then he came to the most liberating realization that would change the rest of his life and his profession.

It was the realization – and responsibility – that our secret power is to “choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Victor created his happiness by choosing his attitude.

When Your Wife Moved Out, The Attitude You Chose Moved In

When it comes to the discomfort of being rejected and facing divorce, you have the same secret power as Victor Frankl.

Your inherent sense of security, confidence, happiness and inner strength is a state of mind and being that is ever-present. Even when you forget that you must realize it is a CHOICE.

Security, confidence, happiness and inner strength were never meant to come from your wife or your marriage. It’s already within you.

We teach men how to FIND THEIR INHERENT VALUE AND CONFIDENCE even in the discomfort of a crumbling relationship.

We help them realize that this choice is a prerequisite to a happy life as a married man or a single man.

And we teach them that the only road to a second chance in their marriage is along the path of being a secure, confident, happy, strong man.

This is the road we must find no matter what.

You have one choice even if she moved out already… Focus on what you can’t control and feel miserable or focus on what you can control and create your happiness.

If you’re ready for a deep, caring conversation about getting back on the right path, submit our contact form. Fill it out completely and get as detailed and vulnerable as you dare!

Either I or one of my certified coaches will reply quickly to set up a free, no-strings conversation to help you slow down and refocus on what is really important.

Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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