Wife no longer loves me
The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar:
What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she’s not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb?
Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and try to urgently fix what’s going wrong in our relationship.
As many of you already know, that reaction just magnifies the problem.
In this video Steve and I discuss what you can do when she’s backing away from you to attract her back toward you.
When you do this you not only become more attractive to her, you also build your self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence at the same time
Watch the video below to see our discussion:
When a woman asks for space, most of the advice on the internet and from friends tells you to “get rid of her” or “lay down the law” or use one of a million different ‘secret’ tricks to ‘get her to do what you want’.
But we’re not talking about a situation where she’s confused about your attraction to her or your desire to be with her. She knows you want her, in fact that’s part of the problem for her.
She’s feeling pressured and overwhelmed by your need for her attention, affection, connection and intimacy.
When there has been a period of clingyness, neediness or pressure to fix what’s wrong with a relationship, it’s quite natural for the person on the receiving end to feel smothered and to back away.
If the woman you love is pulling away, being able to give them that space is not only the best way to attract them back, but it’s also your only option. Anything else will feel like you’re not considerate of her feelings and will just push her further away.
When we step back and give her some space we do two important things:
We show that we’re listening, that we understand and have compassion for her
We show that we can handle difficult situations with undertanding, confidence and maturity
Attraction when a woman is fearful, pressured, feeling numb or feeling smothered is created by backing away, just a little bit.
And as a by product of releasing some of your need to be connected to her, you also learn that your world does not come crashing down around you, you’re still alive, you’re OK.
In fact if you use some of the extra time to do something you really enjoy, now you’re better than OK.
When she feels less smothered, less pressured and less responsible for your wellbeing, she can relax, she can start to feel that you care more about her than you do about how she’s being toward you right now and this creates a feeling of safety for her.
A woman can only be affectionate toward you when she feels safe and relaxed with you.
When a woman is pulling away from you, needing more space and indicating she’s not happy, you have to know, it’s not that she’s not happy with you. It’s just that she’s not happy.
The best thing you can give her…the most attractive strength you can show her, is staying calm, being patience and giving distance. She needs to know that you’re OK even if she isn’t OK. She needs to feel that you’re going to be fine even if she’s still searching for her identity and wellbeing.
So my advice for you when you hear anything like “I need space”, “I feel caged”, “I feel like you’re smothering me”, is to let go…take a deep breath and back off.
At this point, you have to talk to other men, because you do have a need to talk about this. You need to communicate, to vent and be vulnerable, and talk about your fears.
You can’t talk about it with her, because that’s even more pressure and will push her further away and the more we do that, the less respect and attraction she can feel for us.
If this is happening in your relationship and you want to talk to men who’ve been in your shoes and who know how you feel and can help, we would love to support you. Go to THIS CONTACT FORM to request your private, 45 minute “Attract Her Back Consultation” with Steve or me (Dan) in the UK.
Feedback from a man who recently experienced one of these calls was:
“I can’t tell you how good our call was for me…thank you! I listen to Steve’s blog videos daily…and yeah I need more male companions…hard to find where I am. My wife is coming home tomorrow and I’m feeling more on top of things already…”
How can you have rock solid self-confidence and be able to stay consistent and secure in your self-esteem even when you’re in the middle of a rejection or a conflict?
That’s what we help guys understand and start living here at Goodguys2Greatmen. That’s our passion.
We want to help you rediscover the aliveness that’s available in your future.
We want you to know that the pain that you may be feeling right now doesn’t define you. It doesn’t define your future. You have more control than you think.
We’d love to have a conversation with you about this.
When we have a conversation, they can go 60 or 90 minutes and we cover everything that’s going on in your life. Everything she’s said, everything you’re feeling…
And what we want you to do, is walk away from this phone call, feeling like you have a glimmer of hope, that maybe the way you were thinking before the call was driving you into a pit of despair and we want to pull you out of that, at least for a day.
How do you learn how to be calm, confident and attractive?
It’s done with the help of other men who have traveled your path. You must surround yourself with men who can help you change your mindset, your perspective and, ultimately, how you FEEL ABOUT YOU.
The problem most of us have is that we have no men in our lives to talk to about this who get it, have been through it and come out the other side. We’ve got nobody we can trust to give us clear feedback and positive support and guidance.
So what’s next?
I’ve created a powerfully EFFECTIVE experience and for you that promises to give you the calm, confident, peaceful mojo you want.
The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.
Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
The MEXICO MOJO MASTERY retreat for March 2020 is now 40% full! This is an advanced retreat for men who have had one-on-one coaching or have attended other retreats.and we can’t wait to meet up again in Punta Mita at the Hacienda Alegra. Click that link for some mind-blowing pics.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE
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