An everyday conversation with a wishy-washy person.
You: Hey man, I have 3 tickets for the playoff game this Saturday at 1pm. I want you to take the 3rd ticket and come with Bill and I. I’m driving and can pick you up at 11am. It’s going to be a blast. Do you want to join us?
Wishy-Washy Friend: “Umm…yeah…that sounds pretty good…I think…umm thanks…I mean…that should probably work…I guess…lemme see…umm…yeah.”
What’s my point here?
Don’t be that guy. Nobody likes that guy. Nobody.
I’m not talking about being uncertain when someone asks, Do you know the surface temperature of the sun?
If you don’t know something then saying NO is the perfect answer.
This article is about the uncertain, indecisive, tentative, noncommittal, action averse energy of a wishy-washy man.
Why does it matter?
1. It is holding you back. Being wishy-washy has a poisonous effect on your mind and your sense of personal power. It’s based in fear and insecurity which will ruin you life and your relationships. It’s a voluntary choice to become a 2nd Class citizen in your own life. And that will cause you to constantly feel like you’re on your heels without a compass, walking on eggshells and moving in slow motion. And that’s bad for you.
2. It negatively affects all of your relationships. All of them. Others will feel they can’t count on you. They will feel like they are left hanging. They will get frustrated with always taking the lead and watching you back away from commitment. They will question what value you bring into their lives. And as if we need more motivation, wishy-washiness is one of the biggest sexual turn-offs in the world. So…there’s that.
Tragically, many people have this faithless, wishy-washy mindset, which causes them to lose the battle in their minds before they ever fight it in the world. ~ Craig Groeschel
I have no idea who Craig Groeschel is. I just like the quote.
There are dozens of books, courses, coaches and teachers out there saying the same crap.
I want to say it differently for you in this article. I want you to hear it in a way that might actually cause a shift in your THINKING and, therefore, how you FEEL about being wishy-washy. Only then will you actually DO something different…maybe as early as this weekend.
And when you do…it will feel amazing.
First, watch this video where I get more specific.
But before I go…t hese are the thoughts in my head as I type this:
I’m a little nervous. Will I say what I want? Will it make any sense? Will you think I’m an idiot just like all the others who say this crap?
I need to muster my own commitment right now instead of just phoning in this article and giving you a link to someone’s article who is smarter than I am.
In other words, I have to make a commitment right now and follow through. I’m a “hell yes” to do this for you and for me. Here I go. (Sigh)
Hell YES vs. Hell NO
Well, I’m back from the video shoot and I think I said what I wanted to say.
If you want to feel better about yourself…more confident…more engaged…more empowered and more attractive in your OWN eyes then you must start finding your Hell YES’s more quickly.
Stay out of the HELL MAYBE zone. Nothing good happens there. Become more aware of your energy and your thoughts when making a decision or considering a question. Find that part of you that has a clear, non-negotiable opinion or desire. Follow your gut and go for it!
You must also identify your Hell NO’s more quickly. It takes courage to look someone in the eye and say, No, thank you. I spent a large part of my life saying, Umm…you know, I’m not sure I (blah, blah) only to find myself getting talked into things I DIDN’T WANT TO DO!
My challenge to you this week is COACH YOURSELF every time you’re faced with a decision.
Are you going to be a “Hell YES” and go all in?
Or are you going to declare yourself a “Hell NO”.
I think you’ll be amazed at how liberating it feels when you make your first declarations…even it’s for just making your bed or declining a dinner invitation!
I’ve found that the very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and finding your HELL YES’s and HELL NO’s in life is to join other men doing the same thing. I could have never made the changes I’ve made starting at age 50 without the incredible love and support of other men.
Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:
The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
The online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” This brand new course has quickly built a strong community of men who meet in their own secret Facebook group to support each other. Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well.
Is is really worth it? It’s up to you to decide. From a dad of two girls:
“I rapidly gorged all your vids & read the book. I took it all to heart; putting your advice in action, doing a “deep dive”/self work, and bouncing this off some other older, wiser, and more experienced buddies of mine at church. The concepts you simply, truthfully state brought great change to my attitude on life, family, and my relationships. The light bulb went off as I absorbed all this new, powerful and somewhat counter-intuitive wisdom.”
“My wife and I celebrated 12 years married yesterday & have two daughters 6/8 and another girl on the way this September. From the very core of my being & bottom of my heart, thank you!”
The MEXICO MOJO MASTERY retreat for March 2020 is now 40% full! This is an advanced retreat for men who have had one-on-one coaching or have attended other retreats.and we can’t wait to meet up again in Punta Mita at the Hacienda Alegra. Click that link for some mind-blowing pics.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you brother.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE
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