How To Turn Your Unhappy Marriage Into a Happy One

Some guys consistently create their own pain and they don’t even know it.

How’s that, you say?

I mean they manufacture drama, conflict and tension by trying to protect their ego’s need to “be right”.

It’s that insecure, indignant part of us who needs show other people the error of their ways.

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I came so close to doing this yesterday I almost jumped off the emotional cliff by pummeling a body shop with my anger and frustration.

My 2002 truck was in for hail damage and a general face-lift for THIRTY DAYS when they had promised to be done in 14 days – tops.

My issue is less about the time it took than it is about their colossal lack of customer service, organization and professionalism.

I spent a lot of my former career worrying about those things on a daily basis; therefore, I can (or my ego can) fancy myself quite the authority on these matters.

In this video, I explain what happened yesterday when I went to finally pick it up.

In the heat of the moment, I had to decide how I wanted to create the rest of my day.

YouTube video

Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?

This applies to everything in life whether it’s a marriage or any interaction with other people.

So when I’d been waiting for my truck to come back from the body shop for thirty days, listening to them hemming and hawing, not answering their phone, saying it was done and then that it wasn’t done, changing the price, changing everything – well finally I show up there yesterday and it’s a mess! The office is a mess, they don’t know what I owe them, they can’t find the insurance checks…it was the most unprofessionally run thing I’ve ever seen!

I found my temperature going up, my blood pressure going up and I wanted to be right. They were telling all this stuff about when they notified me of this, or how much that cost, they didn’t even understand the concept of an insurance deductible! And I found myself wanting to explain all of that to them but really what I wanted was to be done with this conversation and the days of messing around with an incompetent company.

They actually did a good job with my sixteen year old truck – I’m pretty happy with the work that they did – but man were they a pain in the butt to deal with!

When I was there in the office, they were throwing their hands up in confusion, frustration and it was like a circus of questions about who owed who what and so I said, “Stop! I don’t care about who’s right or who’s wrong. How about 300 bucks?”

And they said, “What do you mean?”

So I said “Lets just raise it by 300 bucks and I’ll pay you that now and we’ll be done with this. It’s closing time, you can go home, I’ll go home – everybody is happy!”

Then they felt bad and said “well you don’t have to do that.”

So I said “OK, well let’s just split it then – I’ll give you 150 bucks extra.”

They did a little more head scratching and then said “OK.”

I could have been there another hour trying to justify everything they’ve done wrong and whine about how they’ve treated me, how they wouldn’t answer their phone, blah blah blah.

Instead I just said to myself, I don’t need to be right here, I’d rather be happy.

And so I was.

I drove off, got back home and now I’m a whole lot happier than I was yesterday.

So that’s what I want you to get from this article today…where in your life are you putting in more effort to be right, than to be happy?

What battles are you fighting that don’t need to be fought?

Where are you trying to use your intellect, your justification and your excellent historical memory to make somebody else wrong so that you can be right?

I highly advise that you put your efforts into being happy rather than being right. You don’t need to win every argument. Most of them are about stupid stuff anyway.

I know it can be painful. I know exactly how hard it can be when all you are doing is wanting to be right when somebody else is being a jerk.

If you can find a way to let it go, I promise you that you’ll find that happiness is so much more important!

I don’t want to complicate this topic.

It’s not rocket science.

Here’s my #1 tip for you to improve your mood and overall happiness.

Stop trying to convince other people they are wrong and that you are right.

Unless you’re arguing with your surgeon about what body part he’s removing, it’s probably a COMPLETE WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

Think about that.

What other things do you have to do or think about that are MORE IMPORTANT than winning this argument?

What priorities have you made in your life that need your attention more than you need to be right?

In that slight PAUSE between shutting your mouth and jumping off the emotional cliff…ask yourself those questions.

And if the incident involves your relationship with a woman, choosing to be happy instead of right will always make you say something more productive and attractive than what you were about to say.

Just sayin’. Give it some thought.

How can you have rock solid confidence and self-respect to be able to choose happiness even when you’re in the middle of a disagreement?

That’s where we help men get to here at Goodguys2Greatmen. That’s our passion.

We want to help you rediscover the peace and calmness of knowing exactly how you want to respond to situations.

We want you to know that the frustration that you may feel too often right now doesn’t define you. It doesn’t define who you are or your future. You have more control than you think.

We’d love to have a conversation with you about this.

When we have a conversation, they can go 60 or 90 minutes and we cover everything that’s going on in your life. Everything she’s said, everything you’re feeling…

And what we want you to do, is walk away from this phone call, feeling like you have a glimmer of hope, that maybe the way you were thinking before the call was driving you into a pit of despair and we want to pull you out of that, at least for a day.

How do you learn how to be calm, confident and argument proof?

It’s done with the help of other men who have traveled your path. You must surround yourself with men who can help you change your mindset, your perspective and, ultimately, how you FEEL ABOUT YOU.

The problem most of us have is that we have no men in our lives to talk to about this who get it, have been through it and come out the other side. We’ve got nobody we can trust to give us clear feedback and positive support and guidance.

So what’s next?

I’ve created a powerfully EFFECTIVE experience and for you that promises to give you the calm, confident, peaceful mojo you want.

The very FASTEST way to change the way you’re thinking and find your confidence again is to join other men doing the same thing.

Here are some options for you to join us and start creating a whole new reality for yourself:

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

The MEXICO MOJO MASTERY retreat for March 2020 is now 40% full! This is an advanced retreat for men who have had one-on-one coaching or have attended other retreats.and we can’t wait to meet up again in Punta Mita at the Hacienda Alegra. Click that link for some mind-blowing pics.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

Sign up to receive my email newsletters here for lots more free tips and advice.

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

This is the secret your dad never told you about – You have more power than you know.

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