How to Have More Sex in My Marriage

If there’s one question that I hear from men all the time it’s “how to have more sex in my marriage” and I get it, who doesn’t want to know the secret to attracting her and having more fun and affection?

Let me be clear.

It’s perfectly NORMAL to desire sex with your woman.

It’s perfectly HEALTHY to engage in frequent and mutually satisfying sex.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>

And It’s perfectly ACCEPTABLE make advances for sex.

Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

After all, it’s your single-focused PURSUIT of what you most want in life that will yield the results you want. You MUST be motivated, focused, committed, driven and consistent to achieve what you want.

But like most things, the devil is in the details.

You must be very clear and careful about what you’re really pursuing.

If your motivation for pursuing money is for happiness…you’re screwed.

If your commitment to your job is for significance…you’re screwed.

If your focus on being nice to people is to be liked…you’re screwed.

And if your drive to have sex is for personal validation…well, you definitely won’t be getting screwed.

This problem starts for most of us around puberty.

Our constant, insatiable sexual urges cause our teeny, tiny, teenage brains to say, “IF ONLY SHE WOULD…”. Complete that sentence anyway you want.

The bottom line is that early on we adopt a BELIEF that getting a woman to have sex with us is the ONLY WAY to satisfy a much deeper anxiety.

What’s the deeper anxiety?

Other articles you may find helpful:

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It’s the BELIEF that sexual conquests will somehow validate our manhood. It’s the BELIEF that a woman’s desire for us is proof of our sexual value. It’s the BELIEF that we are weak and will be seen as weak unless we get a woman to want us sexually.

Why did I capitalize BELIEF 4 times above?

Because it’s the most important part of the equation when it comes to satisfying your sexual desire.

A secure, confident and mature man learns those beliefs are not actually true and have never been true. He knows that holding on to those beliefs will ruin him.

He realizes that a self-validating man doesn’t require proof of his manhood.

He learns that his “power” has nothing to do with how others see him or desire him.

That’s when the man becomes more magnetic, attractive and sexually desirable than at any other time in his life.

In this video, I go deep into what you should really be chasing. It’s a NEW BELIEF SYSTEM that will serve you well…if you so choose.

Why is this so hard to learn?

I think there are 3 key reasons:

It’s easier to believe that simply getting sex will solve all our other insecurities. Quick fix! And if a little is good…then a LOT is better.

It’s counter-intuitive to believe that NOT PURSUING SEX is a viable path to creating satisfying sexual relationships.

We’ve never known any man of authority in our life who modeled this or could teach this to us.

And as I said above, a man must DECIDE he is ready to BELIEVE something different.

For most of us, there is a significant pain event (threat of divorce?) or a deep seated burning (anxiety?) in our gut telling us we should change our beliefs.

Only then are we actually ready to make the change into becoming a secure, confident and mature man who feels at ease and calm in his new skin.

And that’s kind of hot.

Some guys will read this article, watch a few videos, have a beer and start making changes today. They immediately see the wisdom in it and take charge of their own transformation.

I love that. Good for them!

I wasn’t that smart when I started down this path.

I needed help. From smarter men. Older men. Wiser men.

I needed a whole community of these men. Problem is…there aren’t that many out there. So 8 years ago I created my own and vowed to invite every single man who connects with my story and my message into the community.

Now we’re about 50,000 strong and the success stories are piling up.

Whether you want to improve your marriage, improve your sex life, improve your parenting or improve your career and wealth…this is your community.

You can be a looker, lurker or a leader. If you want to become a leader of your life and a leader of men here are two EASY, AFFORDABLE and massively POWERFUL ways to get jump start yourself.

Two of the most powerful groups of men you can join are the:

Goodguys2Greatmen Live Coaching Roundtable and the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb Online Course.

In these groups you are joined by world-class professional men’s coaches and scores of men who are exactly where you are right now…or a few steps ahead.

And in our personal one-on-one coaching program we take you through an intense journey to build your self worth to the point where it is unshakable. You no longer doubt yourself or your ability to handle yourself, your relationship or your future.

I have a “No Bullshit” policy for Goodguys2Greatmen and our coaches.

That means we INSIST on long, deep conversations with men before bringing them into a coaching program. We NEVER charge for deep coaching consultations.

If you’re on the fence about doing this work, let us show you what it’s like to work with a professional men’s coach. Send me your application and we’ll get you scheduled asap.

It’s absolutely confidential and will possibly be the best conversation you’ve had in months!

The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.

Our Mastering Connection With Women course starts again in May lead by Dan and Alexis – Receive live feedback on your energy and confidence. Find out what you need to do to own your sexuality and masculinity. Navigate tests and create more connection and intimacy with ease. Find out more and signup here.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and Steve host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

See what life changing results you’re missing out on here.

Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

You won’t find negative, hateful language.
You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

Have questions about your relationship?

Apply for a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and bravado. We hide nothing and hold nothing back. We know that everything you want is behind your fear and skepticism…just like it was for us.