The key to being more confident with your wife lies in learning the ways that you give away your confidence and understanding how to use your natural masculine strength to lead the relationship towards the affection and intimacy you really want.
Advice For My Younger Self
I write these articles and make my videos for a slightly younger version of me. The fact that you may relate to these topics is pure coincidence.
So when I suggest you may have handed over a secret, James Bond 007 lipstick tube of whoop-ass to your wife or girlfriend, I’m talking from experience.
Even though the men I work with are rock stars in the domain of their chosen profession, they can’t say the same when they walk through the door of their own home.
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Why?
Because even though they’ve mastered the skills, tactics, knowledge and strategies of excelling at work…they feel like a wet noodle in the scary relationship realm of vulnerability, intimacy, marriage and sex.
They have supreme confidence in what they know and what they do.
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But ONLY there.
And that’s the problem.
Competency-Based Confidence Isn’t Enough
If you only have what I call Competency Based Confidence the only time you will feel confident (aka. calm, cool, collected) is WHEN YOU’RE DOING THOSE THINGS.
This may explain why many men spend a lot of time at work. It’s where they feel most comfortable – most acknowledged and most appreciated.
They get their sense of personal confidence and well-being only from what they are good at.
Hmmmm…I think you’re starting to get my point.
I explain more in this video about the difference between Competency-Based Confidence and Spiritually Based Confidence:
How to Be More Confident With Women – Especially Your Wife
Being Relaxed, Calm And Confident With Your Wife
“Confidence is something that ought to transcend what we know and what we do.” ~Barbara DeAngelis
As you heard me explain in the video, there is ANOTHER type of confidence that is entirely different from competency-based confidence.
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It’s called spiritual confidence.
This is what you need in the areas of your life where skill, knowledge and talent don’t count for much.
In the book, “Confidence: Finding It and Living It”, Barbara DeAngelis does a beautiful job of explaining the OTHER type of confidence.
“Ultimately, spiritual confidence is a quiet, gentle sense of peace. It fills your heart and nurtures your spirit. It allows you to travel your path knowing that you are on the right road, and trusting that wherever you are is just where you need to be.”
Do you know anyone in your life who seems to have that?
Yeah, most people don’t. It’s a rare type of confidence that doesn’t require demonstrated talent, knowledge or authority.
It’s a chosen believe system that tells you that you’re actually okay…just as you are right now. You are bullet-proof to the judgments of others and their disapproval.
From this place you can’t be “hurt, insulted, controlled, offended or emasculated.” You’re no longer a victim of external input.
You’ve got a chosen frame of mind or a “lane” you stay in that supports the truth about your own well-being. You’re valuable, lovable and significant EVEN IF someone else is acting like you’re not.
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This is the secret power we all really want. It’s not a tube of Whoop-Ass.
It’s a secret tube of mojo. Calm, cool, collected, self-assured well-being.
Be confident with your wife by knowing your value deeply and understanding you are on the right path.
We Can Help You Be More Confident With Your Wife
Some men reading this will get it right off the bat. Just reading the description of spiritual confidence and why it’s important will cause a serious shift in their thinking which will change their life starting tonight.
Other guys (like me) need more help. And this help can only come from other initiated men who have ALREADY figured it out.
More related articles for you:
How to Use Being Separated to Save Your MarriageWhy Does My Wife Struggle to Give Affection?
This is why we’ve created many ways for you to get involved in the community and start building your own foundation of confidence.
You might decide to join the GG2GM Live Coaching Roundtable.
Click that link for more information. This is a compassionate and powerful group of men who meet live, three times a month with Dan Dore and I. We are waiting for you to join us.
Or maybe you’ll just fill out my contact form and ask for a deep dive consultation with one of the wise, powerful men’s coaches on my team.
If you want confidence that transcends only what you know and what you do, this is the place for you.
P.S. Maybe you want more stuff like this to read. My book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband is full of quick and actionable tips and insights that will make your next few weeks go much better.
