Why Arguing About Sex Gets You Less Sex

Have you ever argued with your wife or girlfriend about sex?

During my 28 years with my now ex-wife I can’t count how many finely crafted arguments I initiated. Because I think I’m smart, logical and persuasive I thought arguing about sex would somehow yield a different result.

I’m almost embarrassed to admit how stupid and hard-headed I was for so long. I guess some of the best lessons in life come at the expense of doing really stupid s#!@. In my defense, I didn’t have anyone around to tell me any differently.

So here I am for you today. I’m going to tell you differently.

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The Top Five Most Classic Sex Argument Starters:

1. How can you possibly think it’s normal to have sex this infrequently?

2. Why aren’t you attracted to me…am I ugly to you?

3. Everyone else is having more sex than we are!

4. Why don’t you ever initiate sex with me?

5. What more do I have to do to get you to want to have sex with me??

Do any of those sound familiar?

Believe me, I understand the underlying frustration, desire and feeling of rejection that drive us to those arguments. But if you’re as smart as I think you are you also know it’s a complete waste of time that only makes things worse.

More resentment. More distance. More cold and dismissive treatment.

The more frustrated and needy we become the more unattractive and undesirable we become. Hell…we even hate ourselves when we’re doing it.

The reason arguing about sex is so stupid is because it implies that attraction and desire are logical.

They are not.

I don’t agree with everything “Red Pill” guru, Rollo Tomassi, has to say about relationships, but this quote is dead nuts, balls on accurate.

You cannot negotiate genuine desire. The idea that you can rationally barter for someone‘s real desire is the biggest lie ever sold by modern psychotherapy. In fact negotiating has the opposite effect on desire, it only prompts obligated compliance and resentment.

In our new online course, How to Defuse The Divorce Bomb, Tim Wade and I reveal how our boyish insecurity around sex makes us sound whiny. It’s the foundation for a crappy sex life.

We also give you coaching on how to lighten up, redirect your focus and increase your natural masculine attractiveness.

For example

  • Lose the sexual stopwatch and scoreboard from your bedroom. Stop judging her worthiness to you in sexual units of measure.
  • Re-learn how to PLAY and FLIRT. Remember the connection you had when you were dating was fun, flirty and playful. It was full of positive thoughts and positive tension.
  • Re-learn the difference between sensual/emotional intimacy and sexual/physical intimacy. She needs you to get this.
  • Amp up your own sexual value and physical confidence…starting today.
  • Understand the real reasons behind rejection. The word “No” is not a personal attack on your manhood…stop acting as if it is.

I explain these coaching tips a little more deeply in this video.

YouTube video

“This course is very straight-forward and easy to understand. It got my attention right away.”

Forget flowery compliments.

The best testimonial we could get for this course is that it “grabs you” and is “easy-to-understand”.

There is so much wishy-washy, woo-woo stuff on the internet these days the only way Tim and I could stand out is to be unapologetically heterosexual men who give you blunt, clear and immediately actionable coaching.

We also weave in a fair bit of humor and chuckling at our own histories of stupid mistakes. We share with you our own detailed journeys so you can connect with us and trust what we have to teach you is time-tested truth.

This link has tons of detailed information and 4 sample videos compiled for Modules 1 through 4.

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb

We created a bonus video for men who are facing their wife‘s emotional or physical affair. Tim also made two special videos for fathers and for anyone who is thinking that booze and pot might be helpful at this time.

And I take you to the barn for a series of NSFW (Not suitable for wife) videos where I mince no words in telling you what you’re up against and how you need to navigate some very touchy issues.

And…there’s a no B.S. money back, no questions asked, 100% refund policy if you don’t love it and find it amazing. Check out the sample videos here.

How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on well known coachign and psychology television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels related to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides intensely personal, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor who teaches his clients to discover their masculine power, take bold action and create the life they want. He has written articles and guest blogs for numerous relationship and expert websites.

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Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

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We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

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For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

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