I know…outrageous article title, right?
On one hand, yeah, I want to get your attention.
On the other hand, this is not a load of crap. I know a secret that sabotages sex lives around the world…including yours and mine.
And in this video I’m going to clearly explain what it is.
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity >>
Then I’m going to tell you why it happens, what you must stop doing today and start doing tomorrow.
Bottom line: This is all about THOUGHT CONTROL
Early on in your relationship your thoughts were all good, healthy, loving, attractive and very sexy. Therefore, the way you looked, walked and talked supported the undeniable truth that you were a good, healthy, loving, attractive and sexy man.
And the sex was good. Intimacy was easy. Closeness was taken for granted. She couldn’t get enough of you and couldn’t stop bragging about you.
Then…things changed. Your circumstances changed and your THOUGHTS changed.
Then what?
Then you started worrying. You got frustrated, angry, disappointed and critical. These negative thoughts were immediately broadcasted for all to see and feel through your face, your body and your voice.
This is one of the biggest reasons why she doesn’t want sex. And you actually have total control over it
I explain more here. (I also give a surprise hi-tech demo in this video)
So what is the Vulcan mind trick to make her want to have more sex with you?
There’s this thing that happens when marriages start going south, when passion and attraction start to fade and it’s something that you’re not aware of – I know about this because I wasn’t aware of it too.
Imagine that you have an LCD screen mounted to your forehead that, without you knowing about it, broadcasts every thought and feeling that you have. Also imagine that although you don’t know what’s on the screen, she does.
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She knows exactly what it says on the screen.
When it comes to having more sex with your wife, the most important thing that you can control is what you’re broadcasting on this screen on your forehead.
If you haven’t been mindful of it, then you haven’t been aware of how your feelings, emotions and thoughts have unintentionally been broadcasting all kinds of crap – usually sabotaging crap – to your partner.
And that makes her want to move away from you.
Those broadcasts feel like pressure to her, they feel oppressive; they feel like insults, they feel like criticism and they feel like disappointment.
The thoughts and feelings we have in our bodies get projected on our faces, in our body language, in our tone of voice and in the look we have in our eyes.
That’s why I use the LCD screen analogy – she can read all those signals – she has the decoder – she can always tell when you’re thinking.
And so the Vulcan mind trick is to realize that you have always had control over the thoughts and feelings that get projected from your head.
When you were having a lot of sex, when there was a lot of attraction, a lot of flirtation, a lot of playfulness, you didn’t even have to think about this because what was automatically being broadcast from you was very sexy, very erotic, very attractive, very connecting broadcasts.
So, when you were having a lot of sex at the beginning of your relationship, the broadcasts onto the screen on your forehead might have said something like:
- I’m crazy about you
- You’re so beautiful
- I can’t wait to be with you
- I really love who you are
- I’m good
- I’m feeling great
- I’m happy
- I feel really good about myself
These broadcasts are all things that she feels in her body when she receives them and they’re very attractive and magnetic types of messages that just came from your body to hers.
As time goes by, you lose track of what’s being broadcast. You get a job, a mortgage, a dog, some kids, a yard to take care of and a crappy neighbor – whatever the things are in your life that start to drag you down.
And so then we start self-sabotaging the feelings in your body which makes the broadcasts to that screen on your forehead change to being not as nice.
The broadcasts that are being sent now sound something like:
- I’m so disappointed
- I’m really angry right now
- You must hate me
- This is never going to work out
- Why do you have to be like that?
- Why doesn’t she find me attractive?
- What’s wrong with you?
Even though you don’t think she knows how you’re really feeling about her, you think you’re styling it out with a smile or an “I’m fine” – She can read it every time.
So what do you do about this?
The Vulcan mind trick to making your wife want more sex with you is to remember that you have control over the thoughts in your head that cause the emotions in your body that drive the broadcasts onto that screen on your forehead.
You’re going to have to get yourself into a place where you actually are feeling happier with yourself. You have to get your thoughts to a place where you’re not holding any grudges against her, you don’t carry this constant energy of anger and frustration and disappointment toward her.
You have to get to a point where the way you carry your body, the tone of your voice and everything that you do, comes from a place of “I’m OK and I don’t need anything from you to feel OK about myself”.
This is who you were when she first said “Holy crap! Look at the ass on that dude!”
Seriously…. that’s what you were doing back then.
And that’s what you have to do again now.
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But there’s a fundamental secret to this that trips many men up. You don’t do this to get laid.
I know for a fact that this will make you more attractive, more safe and more interesting to her but that’s not the point.
We don’t measure our success as men by how much women want to give us sex. It’s the wrong measure.
I want you to notice how you feel when you start to broadcast positive messages from the screen on your forehead to your kids, to the dog, to your neighbor…. and to your wife.
Let them know how confident you’re feeling. Let them know about your visions for next year. Let them know about your happiness. Let them know what you think about them as people. Give praise, give compliments, and give support. Lower your expectations of everybody to be perfect.
Be with them. Don’t judge them. Try to accept them as they are. Be the guy that you were when you first met your wife. Remember him? He was a pretty cool dude.
He’s still inside you…you just covered him up for the past few years and now it’s time to change that.
Try this for seven days and see what changes inside you. How you feel about yourself. Remember the measure of how we’re doing as men is in how we feel about ourselves, not how others react to us.
I already know your objections.
I had the same ones.
“But what about HER thoughts?! All I read on her face is disappointment, disgust and rejection. She wants nothing to do with me. I think she must hate me.”
Back to my horse analogy, brother.
The horse will ALWAYS project that crap when it experiences it from you first. When a horse feels fear and uncertainty it will always move away with a disgusted look.
And when the horse is seeing fear and uncertainty in the person pursuing her…her fears are validated. She sees unpredictability, inconsistency and anger. She would be stupid to say, “Hey there, cowboy, climb aboard!”
And she’s not stupid.
What next?
Next is you deciding whether or not you are going to change your thoughts and what you’re broadcasting.
You’ll need to decide to do it because it’s not negotiable for you. You’ll do it for YOU first…because of how you feel about YOU when you get back to that happy, confident, attractive guy with the sexy swagger.
With proper commitment to these changes and unwavering consistency I will guarantee you that your mojo will soar.
And, yes, she will notice.
It’s from there things can start changing in the romance and sex department.
This is what we do for men – one man at a time – with our 90-Day Masculine Confidence Intensive.
Dan Dore (my associate coach in the UK) and I are here to guide you on this mission.
If you want to become a happier man who has more sex, is aware of the messages you are broadcasting and who is very deliberate in creating the relationship you want, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.
Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
