Hey brother,
How do you know if you’re being too needy?
You know…smothering, joined at the hip, invasive, pestering and insecure. I remember those days well.
And how do you know if you’re being too independent?
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You know…detached, selfish, distant, inattentive, dismissive, self-absorbed and asshole-ish. I remember those days well too.
The problem is that it’s EASY for us to fall into either of those modes if we’re not awake and aware. And nothing good happens when that happens.
That’s what this email and video are all about.
I want to help you become more aware of who you are being so you can better create what you really want.
In the video I explain these two circles. One circle is you and the other circle is your lady.
That shaded football zone is your relationship.
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How do you show up there? Do you feel confident, secure and healthy? Do you two openly share feelings and ideas without fear or taking things personally? Is it generally a calm, loving SAFE place?
Or does it feel scary, frustrating, dark and uncertain? Is there more conflict than conversation? More doubt than adoration? Is it generally a tense, cold and unsafe place?
The fancy words therapists use to talk about this stuff are “codependence”, “independence” and “interdependence”.
If we want to create a calm, loving and safe interdependent relationship we must learn to become confident, secure and healthy INDEPENDENT men.
Without a healthy frame of independence we will always look outside of ourselves for well-being. We will beg for attention and affection. And we will be a smothering source of insecurity in our relationships.
That’s what co-dependence can feel like. When those circles eclipse each other you become wholly dependent on the other person to make you OKAY. And the outcome ain’t pretty.
Learn more about it this video. I explain what healthy independence looks like and WHY it’s so important to a healthy relationship.
If you just implement ONE THING from this email try this.
When you’re together with your woman this weekend…just pay attention. Turn off all distractions in your head and in your hands.
Listen. Make eye contact. Try harder to understand than trying to be understood. Be more interested than trying to be interesting. Say “Tell me more” when she stops talking.
In other words, be a calm, confident independent man who can be present without NEEDING anything. Lead with generosity. Lead with positive thoughts.
If nothing else happens, YOU will feel better about YOU…and that usually improves things overall.
Some guys find this stuff impossible. It can be ridiculously hard when your head is in the wrong place.
How do you get it in the right place?
With other initiated men who have walked this path and can show you to fastest way to get where you want to go.
Our masculine confidence coaching programs are geared to the man who needs a big ol’ lovin’ shot in the ass…of security, confidence and independence.
Join Dan and I with some amazing, inspiring men. Incredible conversations. Relaxation and laughter. Life changing insights.
And that’s just a start.
Here’s what one guy said about our coaching:
“I joined Goodguys2Greatmen with my hair on fire, few answers, and too many “what ifs?”. I gained a crystal clear vision for myself, generated by myself, which I created in the cloud of support and collaboration of a group of fun, challenging, inspirational and vulnerable men. This community of men helped me define a path that I’m still confidently following a year later. Highly recommended.”
If you want a more passionate life and relationships, then you need to learn how to be the kind of passionate man who CREATES those things.
And if you’re unsure what to do for your unique situation…talk to us.
We give every man who gets in touch with us a free 90 minute conversation. No sales pitch, no agenda, just a real man-to-man conversation about what you want and what’s holding you back from being confident in making it happen.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity
$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”