Have you ever heard this quote?
You Teach People How to Treat You
It’s been around since the first caveman got knocked in the head with a club.
He had to figure out how to keep THAT from happening again.
And the idea of “boundaries” was born.
But why do we still suck at defining and enforcing boundaries?
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Why do we still complain about “how we’re being treated”?
Simple. We’ve been brainwashed to avoid conflict and to be overly cooperative.
We’ve been TRAINED by our recent “nice guy” (and “nice gal”) ancestors to tolerate bad behavior…to just get along and not rock the boat.
Well, I think that’s a recipe for a crappy life and miserable relationships.
We must take responsibility for how people treat us by standing strong in the standards we expect for ourselves.
In this video I tell the story of a client who took 1 YEAR to teach his wife to stop criticizing and verbally insulting him in front of the kids.
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“You Also Reap What You Sow”
That’s another good quote and an important point when it comes to setting boundaries.
We can’t just go around declaring our boundaries and “teaching people how to treat us” if we’re total dicks.
You’re in no position to teach anyone anything until you’ve learned the lessons yourself
In the case of the criticizing wife, if you have been frustrated, argumentative and negative toward her behavior you’re in no condition to start setting boundaries.
You’ll need to slow down and reset yourself while gently bringing up the values you want for BOTH of you to start sharing.
The man in the video story figured this out early on and he stayed patient, clear and proud of how he handled himself. That was the only reason his wife eventually changed her critical behavior toward him.
I want you to become a NINJA at this!
This isn’t a secret trick or even a “tool”.
This is more than a mind set.
This is a LIFESTYLE of calmly knowing who you are, what you believe, what you want and how you’re creating the life and relationship you want.
This is a lifestyle of less drama and less conflict…followed by more connection and more respect.
And when it comes to teaching you how to change yourself and your relationship “lifestyle” there is no better place to learn than with other men who know the way.
We want to meet you in person…share a meal…a fire…maybe a beer or two. There’s so much we want to tell you about!
Click this link to learn more and register for the Confident Man Ranch Retreat
“The retreat was just what the doctor ordered – full of camaraderie, good food and drink, laughter, outdoors, and learning. Learning about horses, yes, but more importantly learning about myself, the importance of masculine connections, and the necessity of taking care of myself other than just physically.” Mike C.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for her to make things better and start taking action on what you can control, here are some ways we can help you start leading things today…
$149 One-Time Payment: The Goodguy2Greatmen 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage – if you need an instant change in how you’re thinking and what you’re feeling Dan and I created our most powerful short course covering the core foundational and fundamental concepts you’ll find hidden within every single self-help book, course or program you’ll ever buy.
Free: If you’re serious about building your masculine mojo then apply for a coaching call with us we will help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you feeling confident again.
What do I mean by “SERIOUS”?
- We take YOU and your struggles seriously…because we’ve been there
- We know living in a sexless marriage is serious…and so is showing your kids what a healthy affectionate relationship looks like
- A lack of intimacy of all kinds is serious now and for the long term health of your marriage
- We believe your personal emotional strength and well-being is serious
- We seriously show up 110% to our conversations with you and expect you to be as serious as we are about changing your life
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$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. Get instant access to 5 years of recorded sessions. Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
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As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
