How To Be More Confident in a Relationship

Do you want an instant boost to your mojo?

I’m talking about a sudden shift in your happiness, sense of purpose and connection with others. It’s an blinding flash of calmness and an instantaneous increase in your well being.

I do an exercise during my retreats called The Energy Audit.

It’s a very simple exercise, which involves identifying all the DRAINING, negative, counter-productive B.S. in your life. It’s the people, place, habits and things you do that sabotage your mojo.

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Then you list all the things you’re aware of that ENERGIZE you, motivate you and inspire you. These are the people, places, habits and things that give you a strong sense of wellness, happiness and purpose.

Then all you have to do is make a DECISION about what you are going to STOP so you can make time and energy to START something new.

Watch this video for an example of what I mean.

YouTube video

I’m talking about habits here.

Habits that can either build you up, inspire you and energize you, or habits that can drain the ever-loving crap out of you.

When I talk about mojo and a guy getting his mojo back, getting his sense of purpose back, getting his sense of happiness and connection to other people back – it takes a total change in his habits.

I have a guy coming up here for the weekend. He’s coming up to my ranch in Colorado to spend two days with me, hiking, being coached by me and having a few beers together by the fire. This is something that he’s never done. He never imagined in his life that he would leave home for the weekend and go hang out with some other guy to talk about his life, his dreams and how he’s going to change things.

That’s a habit change.

In this article I want to give you some advice around what it takes to change the negative, downward spiral that you may have found yourself in. Whether it’s related to a relationship you’re in or a job that you hate, whatever rut you’re in, sometimes we develop a perfect system for sabotaging ourselves.

I used to have a perfect system of my own: staying up late, going to dinner parties all the time, drinking too much, waking up with hangovers, eating crap for breakfast, watching crap TV during the day and not getting any exercise. I’d be hanging around people who were negative, always whining, pissy and moaning about things. I didn’t have habits or people or places or things in my life that energized me, that inspired me and lifted my spirits, that made me think differently.

Unless you stop doing the things that drain your energy and start doing the things that inspire you, give you energy and motivate you to do something different, then you’re going to get stuck in that downward spiral.

Even if your relationship feels like it’s out of control, when you’re not sure if it’s going to end, when you’re looking for some element of control or some kind of certainty and confidence…you can’t find it if you’re doing the same old things.  You need to do something new.

The only way to create a new direction in your life is to create new HABITS.

What does that mean?

It means:

Stop eating and drinking stuff that makes you feel like crap.

Start taking care of your body and your mind – take the smallest step possible.

Stop saying “yes” to negative people and activities that drain you of energy and suck the life out of you.

Start saying “yes” to things you LOVE to do – things that inspire, energize and motivate you.

Stop playing small and giving in to small talk, small thinking and small dreaming.

Start creating a new story of your life that’s so powerful it keeps you awake at night thinking about it.

I’ve created a worldwide community of men who know exactly what I’m talking about and they are making amazing changes in their life. We work together at live meetups, group coaching events, a secret Facebook group and retreats.

How are you going to use the rest of this year?

Here’s an idea.

Make a decision to serve yourself and the next 20 years of your life.

Just say, “Screw it. I’m doing this for me!”

Yeah, it’s that simple.

And even though many wives and girlfriends get upset at first…they quietly admire and appreciate a man who is clear about who he is and what he wants.

If you want to change your energy and start waking up enthusiastic to experience what the next day / week / year / 20 years has in stall for you, we would love to help you get clear on what next decision or action you need to take to start CREATING the life that you want.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what we want for you brother.

Books, articles and videos are great but to really make quick progress and get to a point where you’re consistently calm, confident and enthusiastic about life again you need other men who understand what you’re going through and who will challenge you to make the changes that you need to make. This is the truth that I want you to LEARN – this is the thing I had to learn first before I could grow in this way – you need other men to do this work!! Why do you think indigenous tribes have male only initiation ceremonies?? It’s incredibly powerful and life changing!

Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable where we will help you re-find the confident, attractive man you know yourself to be.

Come and try our coaching through our Roundtable live coaching program here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.

author avatar
Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach
Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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