Hey brother,
Sometimes I’m just being a dick.
I can’t always see it coming and when I least expect it, there I am…being a dick.
It happens to a lot of us – even women. (yeah, they can be dicks too!)
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But I’m getting better and better at seeing the “dicky side” of myself before he gets out of hand. (no pun intended, really)
I’m talking about that slightly angry, irritated, offended or insulted part of me that just wants to “get back” at someone for pissing me off.
That’s the hardest “dickyness” to prevent. It comes out of nowhere like a reflex…like a knee-jerk reaction.
The “slow build dickyness” is a little easier to spot and prevent because you can learn to recognize the pattern.
One sure thing about being a dick in my relationship is this.
It never makes things better. It always results in more silence. More distance. More resentment.
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And the OPPOSITE of being a dick always results in more connection. More play. And more intimacy.
Jeez, you’d think it would be so easy to just not be a dick!
But, it’s not. You have to have some advanced knowledge and advanced self-awareness to be able to observe yourself before it happens.
And you know what’s happening a LOT lately?
Run-of-the-mill dickyness is getting labeled as NARCISSISM.
If fact, most of my own dickish behavior is NOT narcissism…but it “smells” like it. Neither one is desirable, but one is much more serious than the other.
This where the confusion sets in.
What the hell is the difference between good ol’ dickish behavior and genuine Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Have YOU ever been called a narcissist?
Do you want to get advanced knowledge and advanced self-awareness about this popular accusation?
If so, here is one brand new video below and one brand new book we’ve written and released just yesterday on Amazon.
Sven Masterson and I needed to write this for OURSELVES…and I think you will enjoy reading it – for yourself!
To order your own ebook, paperback or hardcover edition of the book, just click on the cover below.
Hidden resentment is the breeding ground for disconnection. — Sue Johnson
Why is this book so important to men?
Because we CRAVE CONNECTION with the women we love.
It’s very simple.
If we want more, better and healthier connections with women, we must become the kind of men who create connection with women.
Here’s one of the many personal reflections I share in Part Eleven in the book.
For years, I thought my intelligence was helping the relationship, solving problems before they became bigger issues. But I didn’t see how I was invalidating her feelings in the process. I was so focused on winning the debate that I didn’t notice I was losing the connection.
~ Steve
There are so many of these vulnerable examples Sven and I share in the book, you just might see yourself in some of them.
That’s enough blabbing for now. I hope you enjoy the book.
Lotta love, brother,
