Just Heard I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You? Is There Hope?

If you’ve heard your wife say I love you but I’m not in love with you then you may well be confused about what that means for the future while simultaneously feeling hopeless and betrayed. So what should you do now?

Hoping for things you have no control over to miraculously change leads to feeling powerless and frustrated, but you do have an influence over what happens next. The question is…will you react from fear and hit out with blame or will you respond with clarity and confidence – we help you do the latter.

The Wrong Kind Of Hope

We speak with so many men each week who want to have HOPE. I remember having this kind of hope once.

We want to have hope that our marriage won’t end.

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We want to have hope that our family won’t break up and we won’t miss seeing our kids every single day.

And we want to have hope that our wife will turn back toward us and love us they way we imagine she could.

But that kind of hope is paralyzing and debilitating.

That kind of hope is attached to ONLY ONE version of life….ONLY ONE OUTCOME that could save us from personal destruction.

That kind of hope is based on a poisonous attachment to the whims of others and is dependent on all circumstances bending to your will…and to your FEARS.

Hope doesn’t work like that. There’s a better way to hope.

It’s how a strong, confident, secure man chooses to hope.

The Right Kind Of Hope

The kind of hope I wish for you is a WISE hope. This kind of hope is a belief system.

It’s a place of calm, confident faith that everything happening now has a hidden benefit that is yours to find.

And when we see that benefit and live into it, everything somehow works out in a way that makes sense…and we find peace in that.

Despite the darkness of the apparent reality staring you in the face at this moment, there is a purpose behind this shit show.

Standing strong in the face of circumstances you can’t change with the absolute BELIEF that, one way or another, this will all turn out just as it should…is a very healthy kind of hope.

It’s a powerful inner voice that says, “Hey dude. You’re okay. And you’re gonna be okay. Breathe, brother. Really!”

I talk more about this choice of mindset in the video below.

Don’t Hope She’ll Love You Again…Hope for This Instead

You Asked: “Is There Hope”…You Got: “The 2×4 Of Clarity”

You might be thinking, “Yada yada yada. More new age BS that isn’t helping my situation at all.”

I know. Too much bloviating about “the universe” can make me throw up in my mouth a little too.

A very simple and blunt way of saying the same thing is this way:

“Life is tough. And it’s a lot tougher if you’re stupid.”
~ John Wayne

My coaching is always kind. Always respectful. And always empathetic.

But a little tough love can be really helpful sometimes.

I remember too well the time when my guts were spilling on the floor and I was slipping in my own blood of despair.

I remember the panic and the “Mr. Fixer” desperation I applied to my failing marriage.

And I remember when a 2×4 hit me in the friggin’ head and showed me the truth.

The truth was that no matter what I felt and no matter what I HOPED for I actually had NO CONTROL over the outcome. There was only ONE path to take.

I had to RESPOND better to my circumstances. I had to quit fighting and beating my head into the wall.

It was the most COUNTER-INTUITIVE decision I ever made, but the “2×4 of Clarity” spelled it out.

Instead of wondering “is there hope” I had to take care of myself and my thinking. I had to change the way my thoughts were tormenting me. I had to find people smarter than me to keep me straight. And so I did. Turns out everything turned out exactly the way it was supposed to. My life turned out to be better than I ever imagined. So will yours.

It’s Your Thinking That Needs To Change

The GG2GM coaching programs are powerful and personally challenging.

They are intensely focused on YOU and YOUR THINKING.

There are not for everyone. But they are perfect for the man willing to try something different…something strangely counter-intuitive.

If you’re ready for a powerful and intensely personal conversation about where you want to go, we’re ready. Get a comfy chair and a cup of coffee. This conversation is NOT a “taster session”.

Click this link to go to the Contact page on my site.

Fill out the unusually personal questions.

Be honest. Be thorough.

Let us show you something you didn’t expect.

That’s a promise.

P.S. Are you impatient? Are you done talking? Want to dive in asap.?

Then check out our private group coaching and online course opportunities. You can connect and dive into the tribe immediately…if you’re ready. They will blow your mind.

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Steve Horsmon Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon is a Certified Professional Life Coach and owner of Goodguys2Greatmen Relationship Coaching in Livermore, Colorado. He has appeared on many television, radio, youtube, and podcast channels discussing the coaching and psychology factors relating to maintaining healthy relationships. Steve provides personal, practical, action oriented coaching services for men through 1-on-1 coaching, private retreats, group coaching and workshops designed to give men new knowledge, skills and the right mindset to achieve their relationship goals. He is a committed, lifelong mentor for men who teaches his clients how to discover their masculine strength so they can confidently take the actions required to create the life and relationships that they really want. With over 10 years experience he has created thousands of videos and articles for well known relationship websites such as The Good Men Project, Medium and the Gottman Institute.

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