I want to give you one golden piece of advice today. It’s a top secret tip to make your week go much better.
How do I know this?
Because my clients tell me over and over how EASY it is to totally change the dynamic in their relationship with their wife or girlfriend when they follow my advice.
Just ONE simple shift. Something any man can do but most never will.
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But when you do…miracles happen.
Like this guy who said to this me the other day. (I always get permission to share this stuff, fyi.)
“Our lunch date was amazing!! We talked about her, nothing about me. She was hesitant to let go and really kiss me passionately at first , so I took off both our sunglasses, and looked her in the eyes, and asked her to trust me and let me in. We kissed long and slow!! It was HOT!! I can’t believe this is the same marriage and woman that was ready to leave a few days ago.”
True story. It happens all the time when men make a focused effort to learn things nobody ever told them.
Then comes fearless action.
It about leadership. Leadership of yourself and leadership of the emotional energy you both need to relax and connect like lovers again.
The really big “ah-ha” is in how this causes an exponential shift in your life at work, business, friendships and your bedroom prowess.
In this video I want to give you a real quick tip to help you change your week.
In our mens group meeting this week we talked about how to change the nature of your relationship and how to change the energy in your relationship.
We got onto the topic of complimenting and acknowledging each other.
So I want to talk about the difference between acknowledging your partner for what she does versus acknowledging her for who she is.
To give an example of this, if I was to compliment you, if I was to tell you “Man, you’re so talented, you’re really good with tools, I really admire your practical skills with fixing cars. I’m impressed by the way you make money. I think you’re really good at what you do. You’re so productive and always get so much done.”
That’s complimenting on what you do. It’s complimenting you for skills and things that you know how to do well. It’s complimenting you for knowledge.
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An example of complimenting you for who you are would be “You know man, I’ve been watching the way you get stuff done, the way you treat people and the way you show up respecting other people and listening to them. You’re really calm and you’re never rattled, I want to have more of that in my life. I wish I could take a pill to be more like you. I just appreciate your energy. When I’m with you it feels good.”
That’s complimenting for who you are. For your energy. For enjoying being around you because I want to be more like you.
You know, men don’t talk to each other like that. But the second example feels different doesn’t it.
The second compliment doesn’t feel the same as the first one because I’m complimenting you for who you are, for your energy, for enjoying being around you because I want to be more like you.
It’s a compliment about your nature and your character.
And so it’s the same when we’re complimenting women.
When we’re trying to acknowledge women in long term relationships we tend to say “She’s looking good. She’s working out a lot and has lost some weight. She’s really good with the kids. She gets a lot done. She’s really productive and super organized. She keeps everybody on track.” And that’s complimenting her for her skills. For her organizational skills. For losing weight. For her butt looking nice in a pair of jeans.
That’s all well and fine. Women do appreciate being acknowledged for the hard work they do and the things they do for us, but if that’s all they ever hear, they’re going to feel like their value to us is only for what they do or only for what they do for us.
We have to learn how to acknowlegde and feel comfortable acknowledging who she is.
This is uncomfortable for a lot of men. It’s been uncomfortable for me in the past. To look a person in the eye, especially a woman and say “You know, who you are impresses me. I find your sense of humour intoxicating. I like the way you treat people. You make me feel good just by watching you laugh. I love the way your mind works, it’s exciting to talk with you. Your creativity inspires me.”
Have you got the point?
Complimenting a woman for who she is not just what she does, makes all the difference in the world and you have to be authentic with it. You have to tell the truth. You can’t just play this game to get sex or to get her to like you. You have to find the real reason you married her, the real reasonthat you’re dating her or the real reason that you love her.
Find the real reason that you celebrate her and who she is, and say so.
You don’t have to pour in on thick. Find one thing that’s true and say it. Say it as if the sky is blue for you. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Get in the habit of acknowledging her and other people in your life for WHO they are and not just what they DO or just what they do for you.
I guarantee you that this one small piece of advice can change your whole week. I hear it over and over again. One small shift in how you show up can change everything.
My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.
I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here. I would be thrilled to help you get there – our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence.
You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there – and she doesn’t WANT to…trust me on that.
