Are you considering couples counseling to deal with the problems in your relationship? We speak to a lot of men who have tried this route and have some feedback that may be able to help you decide which path forward will be most effective for you right now.
I recently received an email from a really nice, caring and frustrated wife. I’ll call her “Elizabeth”.
Elizabeth is way past the midpoint of becoming a Walk Away Wife.
You see, she’s been watching a ton of our videos and reading articles and is making a last ditch effort the get her husband’s attention.
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I’ll call him “Dave”.
In the video below, I offer the best “couples advice” I can think of.
As you’ll see, it’s not “couples advice”, it’s a challenge to both Elizabeth and Dave as individuals.
In her email, she wondered if there still might be anything worth saving in their marriage. If you get these newsletters, you already know what I told her in the video.
Do NOT try to save this marriage. This one sucks. Why not decide to create something you’ve never had before…something much better?
The current version of this marriage has two insecure, immature and frustrated people trying to solve a “problem”. These two people don’t need “couples advice” and they don’t need to “save” anything.
In the video, I talk about the higher level of awareness, understanding and connection that is available to both of them.
And I explain why this is personal work first…not couples work.
It’s not about “communicating” better.
It’s about learning what each other needs to truly feel connected.
And it’s about learning how to BE the kind of partner who knows who to create that.
Insecurity is the #1 Human Emotional Disease
~ George Pransky, The Relationship Handbook
Nobody wants to be accused of being “insecure”. But decades of relationship research has shown that insecurity is at the root of all of our destructive thoughts, words and actions in marriage.
When two insecure people get divorced, they end up attracting the exact partner and relationship they left. Don’t do that.
Why not use your current marriage as a GIFT and a “training ground” to become more secure. Only truly secure, mature partners can:
- Have empathy and understanding of their partner.
- Give unconditional love and high regard even in the tough times.
- Understand that everything you think and feel isn’t actually true!
- Have calm, quiet confidence…even when you think there’s a tiger in the room.
- Connect at every level of intimacy with an open heart and without fear of being vulnerable.
If your name is “Elizabeth”, here is the website I suggested in the video. It’s time to learn stuff your mom never told you.
I have men read her book, The Queen’s Code, just to see what a secure, smart wife can be like.
If your name is “Dave”, then we’ve got you covered. Even if your name isn’t “Dave”, you’re in the right place.
Men have to learn this stuff from other men.
Dad did the best he could with what he had.
And if you haven’t actually seen what a truly confident man looks like in a marriage, we can help you with that.
Here are 4 options for you to get started today:
Free: Fill out our contact form for your “Be a Better Leader” consultation call – it’s a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men’s Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and “alpha” bravado. We help you be confident in you again.
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$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men’s Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It’s a $69 investment. You get INSTANT access to 5 years of recorded sessions! Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?
$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you’ve just heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” or “I want to separate or divorce.”
As Teddy Roosevelt said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
