Hey brother,
First, I want to invite you to our group coaching call this week at 12pm mountain time on Thursday 8th August, the topic of the call is “Are You Dealing With Narcissism??“
In this call we will address:
What is narcissism and how do you spot it in yourself or in others?
The 3-Step Emergency Triage for You AND Your Marriage >>
If you are dealing with narcissism, is all hope lost?
What is the most important factor in being able to be happy and still thrive when dealing with narcissism in your life?
If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men’s Roundtable here.
(You’ll also gain access to 5 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).
OK, now on with today’s newsletter…
Brace yourself.
I’m about to tell you a “funny” story that may make you cry.
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This story isn’t true, but it IS a compilation of a few true stories I’ve heard over the years. It goes like this.
“I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so anxious and unhappy with what’s been going on in my marriage.
My wife has become toxic and mean to me every single day. There’s nothing I can do right in her eyes. She criticizes me, blames me and belittles me.
I’m never allowed to touch her anytime or anyplace.
She comes home after midnight after drinking with her “work friends” and disappears on weekends. I am now doing all the housework, cooking and childcare. And the kids are now crying that mommy is never around and never pays attention to them. (If she’s home, she’s on her phone!)
And here’s the newest information. My 13-year-old daughter just caught her in our bedroom sleeping with the husband of our friends down the street. (a good friend of mine)
What do I do now? How can I make her want to be with me? How can I stop all this and have the marriage we are supposed to have?
But…I love her. I want her. I’m afraid of saying anything. I don’t know how she will react. And I don’t know what to do.”
You may be asking, “What in the hell is so funny about that?”
Let me explain it to you in this video. Because once you find your funny bone when it comes to “dark stuff” like this, your whole life will change. You’ll start finding a LOT of things hilarious.
Your story will not change until you create a new one.
Here’s the problem with us “hopelessly romantic and nostalgic” people.
We imagine a story that we wish to be true while we tolerate conditions in which that story could never possibly happen.
Sometimes this means we are tolerating external circumstances and behavior that poisons our story.
And many times this means we are tolerating our own fear and insecurity.
When we choose to tolerate our own fear and insecurity, we will always end up tolerating a story we don’t want.
This means that we must realize that the story you want could not possibly materialize unless you create it.
We create the stories we want by standing up for what we value, what we believe and what we non-negotiably and unapologetically demand for ourselves.
There is an important distinction there!
While we can have clear expectations of ourselves and for the life we wish to live, we cannot demand those from others…and we can never control their desire to share the story we want.
So…going all the way back to the top of the page…his story will never change unless he chooses to create a new one.
It’s actually funny to think otherwise!
This is hard and it takes brass balls and nerves of steel…otherwise known as self-respect and courage. Not all men can do it.
But you can.
Once a man learns to stand up in his own worthiness and step into his courage, his self-confidence will grow so fast that he starts to see everything as FUNNY!
