GoodGuys2GreatMen Video Podcast

How To Stop Your Low Mood Overwhelming You

Dan Dore & Steve Horsmon • 3m 58s • 7 October 2024

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How To Stop Your Low Mood Overwhelming You
Video overview: Some days you wake up heavy, anxious, unmotivated, or overwhelmed, and you can’t just “think positive” your way out of it. This video is for the man who feels low but still has a life, family, marriage, and responsibilities to show up for. I’ll share how I deal with those days myself and invite you to try a different way of moving through them without shame or pretending.

Some days you just don’t have it.

You wake up and feel heavy before the day even starts. Your mind is already busy. Your body feels tired. Your motivation is nowhere to be found. The things you normally handle feel bigger than they should.

And if your marriage or relationship is already under stress, those low days can feel even harder.

You may start thinking about everything that’s wrong. Your wife’s distance. The lack of affection. The arguments. The future. The money. The kids. The pressure. The things you haven’t fixed yet. The man you think you should be but don’t feel like being today.

That can become a pretty dark loop.

And most men don’t talk about it honestly.

We say we’re fine. We say we’re tired. We say work is busy. We keep moving because people depend on us. We take care of the outside game because that’s what we know how to do.

But inside, we may feel low, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, numb, or quietly hopeless.

Brother, I want you to know something.

Having a down day does not mean you’re weak.

It does not mean you’re broken. It does not mean you’re failing as a man. It does not mean you have to believe every thought your mind throws at you when your mood is low.

It means you’re having a human experience.

And the way you relate to that experience matters.

A lot of men make their low mood worse by fighting it, judging it, hiding it, or turning it into a story about who they are. They wake up feeling low and immediately start saying, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get it together? I should be stronger than this.”

That shame adds another layer.

Now you’re not just feeling low. You’re feeling low and beating yourself up for feeling low.

That’s brutal.

In this video, I talk about how I deal with those days myself. Not as some guru who floats above normal human emotions, but as a man who has had to learn how to work with my own mind, my own body, and my own emotional state.

Because we all have days when confidence feels far away.

We all have days when motivation is gone.

We all have days when the old thoughts come in and try to convince us that nothing is changing, nothing is working, and we’re not enough.

The first shift is to stop treating the mood like the whole truth.

A low mood is real, but it is not always reliable. It can color everything. It can make your marriage look worse, your future look darker, your wife’s words sound sharper, and your own mistakes feel enormous.

But that doesn’t mean the mood gets to drive.

You can notice it. You can be honest about it. You can say, “Today is a heavy day,” without handing it the steering wheel of your life.

That’s the inside game.

Most men were taught to push through. Just keep going. Work harder. Ignore it. Distract yourself. Have a drink. Scroll your phone. Stay busy. Get angry. Shut down.

And sometimes pushing through gets you through the day.

But it doesn’t teach you how to lead yourself.

Leading yourself on a low day may look very simple. It may mean getting outside. Moving your body. Calling another man. Writing down what’s true instead of what fear is shouting. Taking one clean action instead of trying to solve your whole life by lunchtime.

It may mean lowering the drama around the mood.

You don’t have to make it a crisis. You don’t have to make it your identity. You don’t have to make your wife responsible for fixing it. You don’t have to act like a bad mood means the whole marriage, the whole future, and the whole man are doomed.

You can just say, “This is what’s here today, and I’m going to take care of myself like a man I respect.”

That sentence changes things.

Because most men are much better at taking care of everyone else than taking care of themselves. They keep the money coming in. They handle the logistics. They manage the house, the job, the responsibilities, the problems.

But when their own inner world starts hurting, they often have no real tools.

That is why this work matters.

If you want to be calm, confident, and happy as a man, you cannot only work on your marriage. You have to work on the man who is living inside that marriage.

You have to learn how to meet your low moods without collapsing into them. You have to learn how to meet anxiety without obeying every question it asks. You have to learn how to meet overwhelm without deciding you’re powerless.

And you do not have to do that alone.

Other men can help you see the difference between what’s true and what your low mood is telling you. Other men can help you stop isolating when your mind gets heavy. Other men can help you remember your strength when you temporarily lose access to it.

That’s not weakness.

That’s wisdom.

The goal is not to never have a down day again.

The goal is to become the kind of man who knows what to do when those days come.

A man who doesn’t shame himself.

A man who doesn’t hand his mood to his wife and say, “Fix me.”

A man who doesn’t disappear into numbness, anger, or avoidance.

A man who can take one next step toward calm, confidence, and self-respect, even when he doesn’t feel inspired yet.

That’s where your power comes back.

Not by pretending the darkness isn’t there.

By learning how to walk through it without becoming it.

Handle the hard days differently

If low moods, anxiety, overwhelm, or lack of motivation have been pulling you away from the man you want to be, you don’t have to keep handling it alone. We can help you build the inner strength, calm, and confidence to move through hard days with more self-respect.

Talk to a coach →

About the Hosts

Steve Horsmon & Dan Dore | Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon and Dan Dore have spent over a decade supporting good men who are confused, frustrated, and afraid that their marriages and families are falling apart with no idea what to do about it. We've both experienced the same emotions that you're going through now. We know what it feels like to try all the mainstream try harder, be nicer advice while watching things continue to get worse. And that's exactly why Goodguys2Greatmen exists. Since 2012, we've coached thousands of men through some of the hardest periods of their lives; marriage breakdown, emotional distance, sexless relationships, fears of divorce or separation. We focus on practical solutions to help you survive some of the most challenging and painful experiences that a man can go through. This podcast is for men who are done waiting for their life and relationships to improve and are ready to make some bold decisions so that you become more calm and confident and start moving toward what you really want.