GoodGuys2GreatMen Video Podcast

How To Stop Procrastinating And Start Changing Your Life

Dan Dore & Steve Horsmon • 3m 26s • 2 January 2025

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How To Stop Procrastinating And Start Changing Your Life
Video overview: If you feel stuck in your health, marriage, family or life, the problem usually isn’t that you don’t know enough. This video will help you see why men procrastinate on the changes that matter most, and the one decision that makes every next decision stronger.

There’s a kind of stuckness that a lot of men carry around quietly.

You know your life could be better. You know your health needs attention. You know your marriage or intimate relationship does not feel the way you want it to feel. You know your connection with your kids, your family or even yourself could be stronger.

And still, you don’t move.

Or you move for a few days, then stop. You make a plan, then abandon it. You tell yourself you’ll start Monday, next month, after work slows down, after the marriage feels better, after the kids need less from you, after you feel more motivated.

But deep down, you know you’re delaying your own life.

That is a painful thing for a man to admit.

Most men don’t procrastinate because they are lazy. I don’t believe that. The men I work with are usually hard-working, responsible, capable men. They can show up for work. They can solve problems. They can take care of everyone else.

But when it comes to changing themselves, they freeze.

That’s the strange part.

You can carry the weight of a family, a business, a career and a mortgage, but still avoid making the one decision that would change the way you feel about yourself.

Why?

Because real change asks you to stop negotiating with the old version of you.

That old version wants comfort. He wants certainty. He wants to avoid failure, conflict, disappointment and effort. He wants to wait until the conditions feel perfect before he commits.

But the conditions are almost never perfect.

Your marriage may still feel tense. Your body may still feel tired. Your schedule may still be full. Your confidence may still feel low. Your wife may still be distant. Your kids may still need you. Life may still be messy.

And that’s exactly why this matters now.

If you keep waiting for life to get easy before you lead yourself, you may wait for years.

A lot of men get stuck because they have never made a clear decision about who they are going to be. They have preferences. They have hopes. They have frustrations. They have complaints. They have ideas about what should change.

But they have not decided.

There is a huge difference between wanting a better life and deciding to become the man who creates one.

Wanting keeps you in your head.

Deciding puts your feet on the ground.

When a man decides, he stops asking every day whether he feels like it. He stops making his mood the boss. He stops letting his wife’s reaction, his tiredness, his fear or his past failures decide what kind of man he is going to be today.

That does not mean he becomes perfect.

It means he becomes committed.

This episode is about the number one reason men stay stuck and one simple decision you can make today that changes the quality of every decision after it. That decision is not about a complicated plan. It is not about fixing everything at once. It is not about becoming some impossible version of yourself overnight.

It is the decision to make yourself a priority.

Not in a selfish way.

In a responsible way.

Because if you are falling apart, drifting, numbing out, getting resentful, avoiding your body, avoiding your truth and avoiding your life, you are not serving anyone well. Not your wife. Not your kids. Not your family. Not yourself.

A man who does not lead himself eventually starts blaming everyone else for how he feels.

He blames his wife for the lack of intimacy. He blames work for his health. He blames the kids for the lack of time. He blames stress for his anger. He blames life for the fact that he stopped choosing.

I’m not saying your circumstances are easy.

I’m saying they are not in charge of your character.

That is where your power comes back.

You do not need to change your whole life today. You need to stop lying to yourself about the one next thing you already know needs to happen.

Maybe it’s getting your body moving again.

Maybe it’s telling the truth in your marriage.

Maybe it’s calling another man and admitting you need help.

Maybe it’s stopping the drinking, scrolling, avoiding or complaining that keeps you numb.

Maybe it’s finally deciding that your peace, confidence and clarity matter enough to protect.

That one decision changes everything because it changes the man making every other decision.

A man who has decided to respect himself eats differently, speaks differently, works differently, loves differently and handles conflict differently. He may still struggle, but he no longer treats struggle as a reason to quit.

He becomes someone he can count on.

And brother, that is where confidence is built.

Not from thinking about change.

Not from reading about change.

Not from waiting until you feel inspired.

Confidence comes when you keep a promise to yourself, especially when it would be easier not to.

This matters because your life is not waiting. Your marriage is not waiting. Your health is not waiting. Your kids are not waiting. Every day you delay, you are still practicing something.

You are either practicing avoidance or leadership.

You are either practicing drift or direction.

You are either practicing self-abandonment or self-respect.

That may sound strong, but I want you to hear the love in it. You are not broken. You are not too late. You are not beyond help. You are a man who needs to stop living like his own life is optional.

Make the decision.

Then take the next honest step.

That’s how momentum starts. That’s how your inside game changes. That’s how you become the man your life has been waiting for.

Make yourself a priority again

If you feel stuck, frustrated or tired of procrastinating on the changes you know matter, you don’t have to figure it out alone. We can help you get clear, calm and committed so you start leading your life from self-respect instead of avoidance.

Talk to a coach →

About the Hosts

Steve Horsmon & Dan Dore | Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon and Dan Dore have spent over a decade supporting good men who are confused, frustrated, and afraid that their marriages and families are falling apart with no idea what to do about it. We've both experienced the same emotions that you're going through now. We know what it feels like to try all the mainstream try harder, be nicer advice while watching things continue to get worse. And that's exactly why Goodguys2Greatmen exists. Since 2012, we've coached thousands of men through some of the hardest periods of their lives; marriage breakdown, emotional distance, sexless relationships, fears of divorce or separation. We focus on practical solutions to help you survive some of the most challenging and painful experiences that a man can go through. This podcast is for men who are done waiting for their life and relationships to improve and are ready to make some bold decisions so that you become more calm and confident and start moving toward what you really want.