GoodGuys2GreatMen Video Podcast

All Men Want Is Sex All Women Want Is…

Dan Dore & Steve Horsmon • 3m 27s • 17 July 2023

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All Men Want Is Sex All Women Want Is…
Video overview: If you’ve ever heard, “All men want is sex,” and felt judged, misunderstood, or shut down, this video gives you a better question to ask. What does a woman actually feel in the presence of grounded masculine energy — and how does that change the way she experiences attraction, safety, desire, and closeness with you?

“All men want is sex.”

Most men have heard some version of that.

Maybe your wife has said it. Maybe an ex said it. Maybe you’ve heard women joke about it, complain about it, or throw it at men like an accusation. And even if part of you understands where it comes from, another part of you wants to say, “Wait a minute. That’s not all I want.”

Because it isn’t.

You want to be wanted. You want to feel close. You want to feel chosen. You want to feel like your desire isn’t disgusting, selfish, or something you have to apologize for. You want your wife to see the part of you that wants sex as loving, alive, and connected — not as some crude animal part she has to manage.

That’s a painful place for a good man.

Especially when he loves his wife.

A lot of men get stuck defending themselves against that accusation. They try to prove they don’t just want sex. They become careful. They hide their desire. They stop initiating. They convince themselves they should be above wanting it so much.

But that doesn’t make the desire disappear.

It just sends it underground, where it turns into resentment, shame, loneliness, and that quiet ache a man carries when he feels sexually unwanted in his own marriage.

This video asks a different question.

If all men supposedly want is sex, then what is it that women want?

Not as a complaint. Not as a debate. Not as another stupid battle between men and women. But as a real question a man can use to understand his wife or feminine partner more deeply.

Because the female sexual experience is often different from yours.

That doesn’t mean women don’t want sex. It doesn’t mean they’re less sexual. It doesn’t mean you should accept a cold, disconnected, passionless marriage and call it maturity.

It means you need to understand what actually opens her.

For many women, sexual desire is tied to how they feel in your presence. Not just what you do. Not just whether you helped with chores. Not just whether you said the right thing. But how they experience you as a man.

Do you feel grounded?

Do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you feel strong without being hard?

Do you feel loving without needing approval?

Do you feel sexually alive without being desperate?

That kind of masculinity affects a woman in a very real way. It can reach something in her body and emotions the same way a beautiful woman showing herself to you can affect you. Not because either one of you is shallow. Because polarity is real.

Your masculine presence matters.

Not the fake version. Not the chest-beating, emotionally shut-down version. Not the “I’m the man, so obey me” garbage. That’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the kind of masculinity that is calm, clear, playful, honest, protective, self-respecting, and strong enough to stay open when things get uncomfortable.

A woman can feel that.

And when she feels that consistently, she may start to relax in a way she can’t relax around a man who is needy, resentful, afraid, or constantly looking to her for reassurance.

That’s where a lot of good men miss the mark.

They think the answer is to prove they’re nice. Prove they’re safe. Prove they’re not like “those other men.” So they mute themselves. They apologize for wanting. They act harmless. They try not to create waves.

But harmless does not usually create heat.

A woman may appreciate your niceness. She may rely on your steadiness. She may know you’re a good man. But if you’ve buried your strength, your truth, your desire, and your self-respect under years of trying not to upset her, she may not feel that spark with you anymore.

That is not a reason to blame her.

It’s a reason to wake up.

You don’t have to become less loving to become more attractive. You don’t have to become selfish to become sexually powerful. You don’t have to become cold to become strong.

You have to become more honest.

You have to stop treating your desire like a dirty secret. You have to stop making her response the final judgment on your value as a man. You have to learn how to stand in your own masculine energy without turning it into pressure, performance, or demand.

That’s a skill.

Most men were never taught this. We were taught to work hard, provide, solve problems, stay loyal, and be decent. Those things matter. But they don’t automatically create sexual polarity.

That’s why so many responsible, faithful, hard-working men end up feeling invisible in bed.

They’re playing the outside game well.

But their inside game is suffering.

Their confidence depends on her mood. Their self-worth depends on her desire. Their courage disappears when she criticizes them. Their sexual energy turns into either neediness or silence.

Brother, there is a better way.

This video will help you think differently about female desire, masculine presence, and what your wife may actually be responding to beneath the surface. It’s not about blaming women. It’s not about blaming men. It’s about learning what nobody taught us when we were younger.

Because when you understand this, you stop asking, “How do I get her to give me more sex?” and you start asking, “Who am I being in her presence?”

That question changes everything.

Bring back the man she can feel

If sex has become a painful subject in your marriage, you don’t need more shame or another argument. Talk with one of our coaches and we’ll help you understand how to rebuild your confidence, your presence, and the kind of connection that gives desire room to return.

Talk to a coach →

About the Hosts

Steve Horsmon & Dan Dore | Certified Professional Men’s Coach

Steve Horsmon and Dan Dore have spent over a decade supporting good men who are confused, frustrated, and afraid that their marriages and families are falling apart with no idea what to do about it. We've both experienced the same emotions that you're going through now. We know what it feels like to try all the mainstream try harder, be nicer advice while watching things continue to get worse. And that's exactly why Goodguys2Greatmen exists. Since 2012, we've coached thousands of men through some of the hardest periods of their lives; marriage breakdown, emotional distance, sexless relationships, fears of divorce or separation. We focus on practical solutions to help you survive some of the most challenging and painful experiences that a man can go through. This podcast is for men who are done waiting for their life and relationships to improve and are ready to make some bold decisions so that you become more calm and confident and start moving toward what you really want.