The Path From Feeling Anxious and Frustrated to a Calmer, Sexier Man

Here’s one fact I know about a man’s sex life.

If he spends much time feeling anxious, agitated, irritated, overwhelmed or angry…he isn’t having much sex.

Why?

Simple. When we’re feeling those emotions we’re just not very sexy men. I know what you’re thinking. Sometimes sex is the BEST remedy for those ailments.

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I agree! But if your mood is really shitty at the moment, self remedy is probably the only good option.

How do you get yourself out of a perpetual shitty mood and learn to relax and be your normal, sexy self again?

I have no idea how YOU do it. I only know about me and I’ll share that below.

As I explain in this video, one way to deal with a pattern of anxiety, agitation and anger is to imagine a better version of yourself.

YouTube video

We can find ourselves feeling angry, agitated or anxious, but how we handle these moments can have a huge impact in our self-confidence and on our relationships.

Right now we have a snowstorm here and I have a whole bunch of stuff I need to get done today but the power is out, the Internet is out, the phone is out – everything is out!

And so I feel overwhelmed. My monkey mind is processing real fast.

“I’ve got to get this week’s video done”

“I need to get the newsletter sent out”

“There are 20 emails I still need to reply to today”

“And my computer isn’t working!”

“I have loads of crap I need to finish today and it all needs power!!!!”

I went downstairs to shoot this week’s video and I went to turn the light on…of course it didn’t come on!

So I’m there saying “God damn it, what am I going to do?!”

Do you ever get that feeling? That feeling of overwhelm, anxiety or the monkey chatter in your mind?

A lot of us guys do.

There’s a lot of content out on the web talking about how to get through anxiety and the monkey chatter.

When I talk to guys about this I like to use really straightforward language.

Meditation is a real thing, getting calm, finding your center, all the woo woo stuff you hear about regarding how to relax and get more grounded, get into the flow – how you do it is important because it has to be done in a way that works for you.

I’ve tried to meditate the way other people have said to do it, I’ve tried morning routines the way some people have said to do it, but it’s just not me, I can’t do it.

I can’t diet the way that other people say you’re supposed to diet. I have to do it my way.

So I want to share “my way” with you.

Below is a link to an audio recording I made a couple of years ago. It’s a guided meditation and I want you to listen to it, not so that you can learn how to do it my way, it’s for you to hear how I processed my way of thinking about who I wanted to be, how I wanted to relax and get into the slower frame of thought.

It’s a story about a time when I was about 14 and working with my uncle and all of a sudden the pickup truck that we were in, stopped. We were on our way home, we were tired, it was dark and on the interstate, the truck just stopped and so he pulled over.

I really remember how calm he was. I was afraid. I was worrying about a semi coming up behind us and slamming into the truck and killing us right there.

So I made this guided meditation about what happened during the next 20 minutes as I watched how my uncle handled this situation and how it had a profound affect on me.

It’s about being that guy. The guy who knows who he is and what he needs to do.

One wrench and a few minutes later, he just whistled as he fixed the problem and got back in the truck.

It was that point when I realized “I want to be more like that. I want to be more calm. I want to be more self-assured. I want to be more confident. I want to know more so I can handle things with that level of calm confidence.”

So that’s what I did.

And now I want to share that with you.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or anxious or you feel like you’re always in your head questioning what your next decision or next action should be then this might help you.

It’s time to get centered.

You have to learn how to do it for yourself, I can’t do it for you but I can show you how I did it and how I still do it.

Here’s the link to my guided meditation.

Will meditation actually improve your sex life?

Probably not…not all by itself. But I can guarantee you that if you don’t learn how to relax – to be more calm and confident – and to stop REACTING to triggers instead of RESPONDING to them…sex will be very hard to come by.

First things first.

Get that under control and if your sex life doesn’t improve, shoot me an email to schedule a time to talk.

Or if you’re ready to get serious – I mean – really serious…then you’ll want to join me, my colleague Dan Dore and a group of great men who meet online twice a month to discuss this kind of thing and to help each other grow and develop into the mature man we know we can be.

We love to help men understand when they’ve been searching for solutions to their anxiety and frustrations in the wrong places. When a man gets this, it can have a huge affect on the connection and affection he enjoys in his relationships.

We would love to help transform you into a calm, confident man in the areas of your life where you’re struggling right now.

90 days is all it takes with our intense 1-on-1 coaching program, either with my colleague Dan Dore or me.

Or come and try our coaching yourself through our Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable. Find out more about our Roundtable group coaching sessions here. There’s an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self-realization.

What if this next year everything changed for you?

That’s what I want for you brother,

We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.

Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.

If you want to become a man who knows and trusts himself to create the life and love he wants, apply for a free consultation call with me or Dan. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better by the end of our talk.

Our online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore.” Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. Find out more here.

My new book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.

I wrote a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage HERE

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You can watch all my videos here and read my blog articles here.

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Frequently Asked Questions


Is our coaching right for you?

Our coaching process was created for men who want to feel happier and more fulfilled in their life and relationships. We teach you how to have more confidence and clarity about what you want in your life and create an action plan to start making it happen.

Do you only work with men in marriage?

While our coaching teaches you how to create a more connected, more fun and passionate marriage, we also work with you to have more clarity, enthusiasm and fulfillment in all areas of your life. We help you understand what you really want your future to look like and we also teach you how to be in control of your emotions so that you can be confident and assertive no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now .

What happens in the free 90-minute coaching call?

In our free initial coaching calls, we listen a lot, we ask you questions to understand what life is really like for you at the moment, we help you identify what you want to be different and what's holding you back from creating those changes now. Then we help you create a practical plan of action to start moving forward straight away.

What will I learn in your coaching programs?

We take you through a process to:

  • Stop being tentative and become more focused and directed.
  • Develop control over your thoughts and emotions like never before.
  • Become a master of the masculine and feminine dance required for a more passionate connection in your romantic relationships.
  • Build and sustain your personal masculine confidence so that you don't get "triggered" or feel disrespected and can respond with strength and confidence to any situation.
  • Become more connected, aware and present with everyone (this is a critical step in your ability to build attraction and desire as well as have people trust you and respect you more).
  • Stop the destructive emotions of anger and resentment which keep you going around in frustrating cycles and start from moving forward with purpose.
  • Stop being anxious, needy and overly reliant upon other people's opinions and approval of you and start feeling more peace, happiness and a deep sense of being a man who is confident in himself again.
  • You will become a confident man who knows his values, what he wants and where he’s going in his life.
  • You will learn how to think, speak and act according to your values without worrying about reactions from others.
  • You become clear and confident in your ability to create intimacy whenever you want.
  • Your confidence will be something that you start to rely on and trust in every part of your life.

How does the Men's Roundtable work?

Our Men's Roundtable membership gives you access to 3 live group coaching calls per month hosted by Steve and Dan as well as access to over 5 years of previously recorded group coaching calls, an invitation to our private facebook group, and ongoing assignments and resources to help you grow and develop as a confident masculine man. It's like having a personal coach in your pocket, ready to help whenever you need it.

What's the difference between the 1-to-1 coaching and group coaching?

Firstly, anyone who is in our 1-to-1 coaching program automatically receives access to the Men's Roundtable membership and group coaching for free for life. The difference between 1-to-1 and group coaching is down to the speed of change that you want to happen. With more personal time and attention from your coach, the 1-to-1 program is adapted to your specific circumstances and will provide the practical advice you need to know what to think, say and do to create what you want your future to be.

What kind of man is right for your coaching?

We work with men who are willing to take the lead in creating the changes they want in their life and relationships. We only work with men who want to understand their fears, insecurities and shame triggers. We teach you practical ways to deal with the mental and emotional challenges life throws at you and help you reach an unshakeable confidence in yourself (often for the first time in your life).

  • You won’t find negative, hateful language.
  • You won’t find a gender war – we don’t bash women.
  • You won’t find bitching, whining, complaining, and blaming.
  • You won’t find a group of men acting like victims.
  • You won’t find judgment or criticism from others.

We don't waste our time with all those things because we want to take the most efficient and effective path to creating the future you want. So we focus only on the things that are within your control: your thoughts, your words and your actions.

How do I know if I need coaching?

If you are feeling unhappy a lot of the time, if you're lonely, drained, lost, stuck or trapped, then our coaching will help. If you're not sure where your life is headed, if you're not confident in yourself, if you're not sure what you really want in life anymore...our coaching will help.

Whether it’s your job, your intimate relationship, or just wanting to feel more happy and with more purpose, then our coaching will help.

If you are tired of settling for a mediocre life or relationship, tolerating criticism and a lack of fun and intimacy and you're done with placating and playing it safe, then our coaching will help.

We will help you have clarity about what you're REALLY passionate about. We'll get you clear about where you want to be in six months and in six years. We help you figure out what you really want to create vs what other people think you should do.

We help you take action, get unstuck, start moving forward. We help you find what matters instead of just "being busy" in the daily grind. We help you figure out how you're going to get from where you are now to where you want to be.

For many of the guys we work with, they find a peace and a sense of emotional freedom that has them shaking their heads and smiling at how they used to approach life. They feel passionate about life again. They build stronger relationships with the people that matter most to them. They feel satisfied and fulfilled that they have finally found the “right path” forward and life starts to feel fun and inspiring again.

So now you've read that...what do you think? Would YOU like to try some of our coaching for free?

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

The Hard-to-Swallow Secret to Saving Your Marriage

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