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Latest News 2015-12-02T10:52:51+00:00
  • Wife abusing husband
2806, 2020

My Wife Abuses Me, What Should I Do?

By | June 28th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I may lose a few subscribers with this article...but it must be done. My hope for this message is to challenge and empower you to think differently about feeling offended, insulted, manipulated, controlled or abused. The internet abounds with countless experts trying to help people know when they are being abused and how to escape their evil perpetrators. These experts arm them with tips, tools and vocabulary to identify their [...]

  • GG2GM Live Tribe Online Men's Group
2006, 2020

FREE Live Tribe Brotherhood Group Calls

By | June 20th, 2020|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

It's a very simple concept. Men need other men for support, guidance, encouragement and brotherly love. Period. And especially when sh*t hits the fan...say... like a global pandemic, we need each other more than ever. That's why we are continuing our free, live men's group support Zoom calls for connection, conversation, sharing and laughing. Every week, one of our coaches from all over the world will be hosting a 90-minute [...]

  • frustrated husband
2006, 2020

Why Is My Wife No Longer Attracted To Me?

By | June 20th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I'm seeing a very clear and amusing trend in many of the men in my community. What is it? INCREASED SEX APPEAL. What's this, you ask? Let me answer that with a short story. A while back at one of my men's bi-weekly meetings in Fort Collins, a guy told us of an interaction with his girlfriend. It came time for him to leave that evening for our men's meeting [...]

  • Wife ignoring husband
2006, 2020

Why Won’t My Wife Talk To Me Anymore?

By | June 20th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

"We were having a great time and then all of a sudden I could see her shutting down. What can I do when that happens?" We hear this question all the time from the men in our community. Sometimes it sounds like... "She spends so much time in her room not engaging with me or the kids, how can I help her to reconnect with us?" It's a common issue [...]

  • Confident husband carrying wife
2006, 2020

How Can I Be More Confident In My Marriage?

By | June 20th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

There's a very special trait many of the men in our "tribe" have in common and it drives them absolutely crazy. What is it? It's the feeling of LOST CONFIDENCE. Have you ever felt this? This is what it sounds like: "I used to be so self-assured. Back in college and when I first met my wife I felt like I had it all figured out. Nobody could knock me [...]

  • Wife wants divorce
3105, 2020

Wife Wants to Divorce, I Feel Like I’m Dying, Help!

By | May 31st, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Two years ago I spent an intense hour talking with a frantic guy who was facing divorce. I never heard from him again...until this week. His email was fairly short and to the point. "I talked to you probably 2 years ago. Didn't move forward with any counseling. Ended up with a divorce. In the divorce I gave her everything. Then there was a house fire where I moved and [...]

  • Sexless marriage
2505, 2020

5 Steps to Reignite Your Sexless Marriage

By | May 25th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I remember the feeling of being confident in every area of my life, achieving at work, a healthy and well proportioned body, good relationships with my kids and family...and yet my confidence around my wife was at an all time low. I tried everything I could think of to show her how much I cared, how important she was to me, how attractive I found her, and she backed away [...]

  • Anxious husband can't make a decision
2405, 2020

How to Make the Hardest Decision of Your Life

By | May 24th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Each day I day talk to men on the hairy edge of making a decision. They may be stuck in the "Limbo Land" of a marriage that is spiraling out of control with no resolution in sight. Or they may feel trapped in a job or career that is sucking their soul out of their body on a daily basis. Or they want to speak their truth to somebody so [...]

  • wife avoiding talking to husband
1705, 2020

Why Does My Wife Avoid Me?

By | May 17th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Does your wife or girlfriend sometimes act like she would rather be anywhere on this planet but with you? Does this get under your skin and make you boiling mad? Do you feel hurt, unappreciated and ignored? Let's talk about how men, women (and horses, of course) feel the PRESSURE to get away. Let's talk about how we can reduce the pressure and create an environment where softness, relaxation and [...]

  • Husband leading wife in relationship dance
1505, 2020

How to Lead Your Marriage to More Passion and Connection

By | May 15th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Do you ever worry that you could be "let go" from your job as husband at any moment? What would you do if that happened? What would you THINK? Do you sometimes have an "employee" mindset in your relationship? This is the main source of discomfort and insecurity for way too many men. If you look at the "position" of husband from the mindset of an employee you will adopt [...]

  • Husband making wife laugh
1505, 2020

How to Create More Fun in Your Marriage

By | May 15th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Have you ever had that "not so fresh" feeling? I'm not referring to your hygiene. I'm talking about your overall mood, energy level and attitude. I'm talking about those times when you feel almost numb or FLAT. You're neither high nor low. You're stuck between first gear and reverse. The engine is running but you're not going anywhere. And you're concerned about that. This can happen at any time - [...]

  • Wife needs space
505, 2020

She Needs Space – Don’t React Like This!

By | May 5th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

The three words that make your neck hairs stand up and your gut tighten into nauseous knots are... "I need space!" I've talked a lot in videos about this issue, like here...and here. Those videos talk about what to think about her request for space and how to know whether it's really a request for divorce. This article is about the PRESSURE she feels and the distinction between the BAD [...]

  • Wife crying with husband
1904, 2020

Is Trust Causing The Disconnection In Your Marriage?

By | April 19th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Have you ever heard these phrases about TRUST? "In God We Trust...all others must bring cash." "I don't trust anyone unless they EARN IT!" "I trusted you and then you broke my heart!" When it comes to relationships we must decide if trust is a starting point or an end result. Is trust something you can give even when you're not sure it's "deserved"? Brené Brown quotes Charles Feltman, author [...]

  • unhappy wife and husband
1404, 2020

My Wife Says “You need to work on yourself”

By | April 14th, 2020|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

From 1999 to 2005 I owned and operated a Bed & Breakfast (and Horse Hotel) in the mountains of northern Colorado. Many of my guests were from a large Buddhist retreat center about a mile down the road. These were people seriously into "personal growth work" and many were repeat guests. They learned how to meditate, how to be mindful, how to be kind to themselves, how to witness their [...]

  • Woman loving dog
1404, 2020

My Wife Loves The Dog More Than Me – Why?

By | April 14th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Have you ever uttered these words under your breath? "Look at her just kissing, rubbing and loving on that dog. He's getting more of her happy, affectionate attention than I've gotten in two months. " Maybe not those exact words, but I think you know what I'm talking about. If you've ever been in that cold, dark, barren "friend zone" with your wife you know what I mean. It's that [...]

  • Upset woman rejected sex
804, 2020

My Wife Doesn’t Want To Have Sex When I Am Upset

By | April 8th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

"Every time I try to express my emotions to my wife she shuts down. And I know it'll be about 2 weeks before we'll have sex again! What the hell is up with that?!" Take a deep breath. Every time I explain how a man's vulnerability can mess up his sex life someone ends up getting pissed off. He'll say something like: "Why can't she accept me and my emotions [...]

  • Anxious husband struggling marriage
604, 2020

How to Stop Being Anxious About Your Marriage Problems

By | April 6th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I was running through the woods the other day on my quest to lose a few of my wintry pounds. I like variety and can't do the same thing over and over again. So I thought I'd do some trail running in the woods behind the house. Apparently, you're supposed to look where you're going. I was looking down, preoccupied with not falling when a sneaky tree branch came out [...]

  • unhappy man to confident man
3003, 2020

A Simple Way to Build Your Confidence Today

By | March 30th, 2020|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I'm typing this article to you at 8:00pm on a Saturday night with a runny nose and annoying cough. I could be watching reruns of American Pickers on The History Channel. That's my normal "go to" couch potato TV indulgence when I'm sick. So why am I here sending this to you? Because I TOLD somebody I would! I knew early this morning I wanted to get this newsletter and [...]

  • Wife never wants sex
3003, 2020

Wife Always Has an Excuse Not to Have Sex

By | March 30th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

After over 340,000 views and over 1300 comments, this video of mine has apparently confused a few men. I want to clear up a few things and answer one of the most common comments. "How am I supposed to get a woman if I don't CHASE them?!"   I'll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and sex with women...I'm asking you to stop the needy [...]

  • divorce, relationship advice, save my marriage, unhappy marriage, needy husband, distant wife, separation, temporary separation, wife needs space, wife feels smothered,
103, 2020

Should I Still Fight to Save My Marriage?

By | March 1st, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Today's article is focused on a question that we get asked all the time: We're heading toward divorce, so at this stage, do I still fight to try and save the marriage? It’s been said there are no atheists in foxholes. This implies that under extremely stressful conditions, everyone starts looking to a higher power for help or guidance. Not everyone. When my marriage was turning horribly painful and stressful, [...]

  • Wife frustrated with husband
2702, 2020

My Wife is a Feminist and Thinks Masculinity is Toxic

By | February 27th, 2020|Categories: Communication, For Women, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Toxic masculinity...toxic masculinity...toxic masculinity! Did you get that queasy knot in your stomach yet? Is the hair on the back of you neck tingling just a bit? Most good men have a physical reaction to the phrase...at least a wince of discomfort when they hear it. And then what do they do? Some of them waste another few hours of their day lurking around the internet getting themselves all spun [...]

  • No Sex Marriage
2702, 2020

Why Does My Wife Struggle to Give Affection?

By | February 27th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Simple analogies are sometimes the most powerful way to get a point across. Sometimes a guy will hear something for the 100th time but THIS time it's said slightly differently and suddenly he gets it. A switch is flipped that can not be un-flipped for him. He can't un-see what he now sees as pure truth. And at this moment he feels empowered to change his thinking...which changes everything he's [...]

  • Wife is angry with husband
2602, 2020

My Wife Said I’m Not a Strong Man

By | February 26th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Don't be afraid. This is actually going to help you...a lot. Remember, I write these articles and make my videos for a slightly younger version of me. The fact that you may relate to these topics is pure coincidence. I originally wrote this article as an email and the title was "When Did YOU Hand Over the James Bond Lipstick Tube of Whoop-Ass to Your Wife?" So when I suggest [...]

  • wife says she doesn't love me
2002, 2020

My Wife Just Said She’s Not Happy in Our Marriage – Help!

By | February 20th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

The #1 affliction most men have at the very start of marriage trouble is.... Anxiety (noun: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.) Does that sound about right? Almost overnight we can go from "happy go lucky" to "holy crap my life is falling apart!" And because we're "fixers", we immediately look for something to fix it. But the [...]

  • Wife rejecting sex or affection
1002, 2020

Why Has My Wife Stopped Wanting Sex With Me?

By | February 10th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

The topic for today's article is one of the most common questions we get asked and one of the biggest sources of frustration for men in their marriage or long term relationship. Why doesn't she initiate intimacy? Why do I have to do everything to make this a relationship rather than just a platonic friendship? How can she be happy without an intimate connection? What can I do to change [...]

  • unhappy wife emotional conversation with husband
2601, 2020

My Wife Says She Wants to Leave Me, What Should I Do?

By | January 26th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

The top four questions men ask upon learning their wife wants to leave are: What did I do to deserve this? Why didn't she tell me she was unhappy? How could she think breaking up the family is a good idea? Why won't she at least give me a chance to change? My first answer is always: It's Not All About You, Brother It's perfectly normal for you to think [...]

  • Wife ignoring husband
2601, 2020

Why is My Wife so Cold and Distant?

By | January 26th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I'll just say it and get it over with. Women can be a lot like horses. It sounds innocent enough but I've gotten a lot of crap over comparing women to animals. It's a metaphor, for Pete's sake. (actually it's a simile for you grammar freaks) A woman once told me, "You guys are like dogs. A kind word, a good meal and rub on the belly every now and [...]

  • Happy husband and wife
2301, 2020

How to Re-attract Your Wife (the Truth Behind the Answers You’re Looking for)

By | January 23rd, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I won't beat around the bush. I haven't been completely honest with you. I'll get right to it. Here are some of the little white lies I've been telling you: I can tell you how to save your marriage I can teach you how to get more sex - as much as you want I can help you make your wife happy I can show you how to make your [...]

  • Wife and husband avoiding talking
1801, 2020

Is Your Marriage Stuck in Limbo Land?

By | January 18th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

We run regular live coaching sessions with guys like you to just gather the men, answer questions and give each other some brotherly support. I ask that guys send questions in advance so Dan Dore and I can have some topics ready to address. The big topic last week was about "Limbo Land". It's that time in a man's marriage where he feels shaky, nervous and totally uncertain about where [...]

  • Wife arguing with husband
1201, 2020

My Wife Said I’m Controlling, What Do I Do Now?

By | January 12th, 2020|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Sometimes we get our best ideas at the most awkward times...like on the toilet. There I was, reading an old issue of Rolling Stones magazine and an interview with the late Glenn Frey of the band The Eagles. My favorite band of all time, by the way. Anyway, I read a quote he made during an interview and it gave me a flash of insight - an idea - and [...]

  • unaffectionate wife
2712, 2019

How Overreacting Reduces the Affection in Your Marriage

By | December 27th, 2019|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I say this about 20 times a week. STAY IN YOUR LANE, BROTHER! I say it to men who are stumbling into negativity, dark thoughts and unnecessary conflict. But what does it mean? It means to stop driving into the drama created by others. It means to stop believing every bad day is a sign that something is wrong. And when things are going great, don't get caught up in [...]

  • sexy masculine man
1212, 2019

Being More Confident and Masculine in Your Marriage

By | December 12th, 2019|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Some days I can feel like a big fat wuss. You? You know those days of camping out too long on the couch...putting off a list of things you want to do but just can't find the energy. Sometimes our mojo (self-worth and self-confidence) just takes a major dive and leaves us feeling weak and insignificant. Most men can remember a time in their life when they felt pretty cocksure [...]

  • Scared of losing wife and kids
1012, 2019

Wife Wants a Divorce? How to Stop the Crushing Fear and Loneliness

By | December 10th, 2019|Categories: Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

This week I decided to fly right toward Hurricane Florence and you'll never guess what happened. I almost didn't leave Colorado. The forecasts were dim. Negative Nellie's told me to cancel my trip. "You might get stuck on the east coast for days!", they said. So what did I do? I drove 2 hours to Denver International Airport and jumped on a plane flying straight for Hurricane Florence. Well, actually, [...]

  • arguing with wife
1012, 2019

How To Turn Your Unhappy Marriage Into a Happy One

By | December 10th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Some guys consistently create their own pain and they don't even know it. How's that, you say? I mean they manufacture drama, conflict and tension by trying to protect their ego's need to "be right". It's that insecure, indignant part of us who needs show other people the error of their ways. I came so close to doing this yesterday I almost jumped off the emotional cliff by pummeling a [...]

  • Arguing wife and husband
3011, 2019

This Kills Your Confidence AND Your Wife’s Attraction

By | November 30th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I talked with a guy this week and he was explaining his frustration at the ridiculousness of just one of the recent arguments he and his wife have had - this one in particular was about which door he uses to enter the house! Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a stupid argument about stupid sh*t? I used to do this all the time. Why? Apparently because [...]

  • wife doesn't love me
2211, 2019

My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, What Can I Do?

By | November 22nd, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Wife no longer loves me The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar: What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she's not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb? Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and [...]

  • my wife is always angry
1611, 2019

Turn Your Angry Wife Into a Purring Pussycat

By | November 16th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Turn your wife into a pussycat Since I don't have kids, I don't normally give much parenting advice. Although the "man skills" I teach are totally transferable to parenting nothing beats a great true story to illustrate a point. My buddy, Jeff, told me a story today about his unruly 15-year-old who went ballistic when Jeff took his phone away. I don't just mean ballistic. I mean all out warfare. [...]

  • mountain lion confidence
1511, 2019

How to Be a Naturally Confident and Attractive Man

By | November 15th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

How to be a confident man in a relationship The mountain lion speaks to me because he's the perfect metaphor for cool, calm, confident masculinity. And he achieves this not by DOING anything in particular...he just IS. This is what makes him so regal - so magnetic - so attractive. It's the mystery of his fierce energy and his quiet resolve. He's focused and engaged while detached and relaxed at [...]

  • how to initiate sex
1511, 2019

Tips to Initiate Sex if Your Wife Wont Show Any Affection

By | November 15th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

This article may piss off a few people...but I don't care. Tough love is hard to swallow and I've had to swallow my fair share. When is the BEST time to ask a woman for sex? Answer: When you don't NEED it. The worst time to ask for a job, a loan, a date or sex is when you desperately think you NEED it. People smell this a mile away [...]

  • wife doesn't love sad husband
1511, 2019

My Wife Says She Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, What Do I Do?

By | November 15th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Death by female. For most of the men in my community, that's the one shared pain. And that's what I usually say when people ask, "What the hell is it you do again?" I tell them there comes a time in the life of many (MANY!) good men when their world comes crashing down. And I help them transform themselves and their relationships when it happens. When you consider women initiate [...]

  • wife doesn't want sex with me
1511, 2019

Why Doesn’t My Wife Want Sex With Me?

By | November 15th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I want to explain something critically important to you in as few words as possible. Short, sweet and directly to the point. It's an unconscious habit that negatively influences EVERY MAN'S sexual energy, attractiveness and, therefore, the quality of his sex life. What's the trait she can smell at the molecular level every time you do it? It's the constant churning of a hidden agenda to convince, persuade, manipulate or [...]

  • wife want to have sex with me
1311, 2019

Become More Attractive to Your Wife By Stopping This One Thing

By | November 13th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

An everyday conversation with a wishy-washy person. You: Hey man, I have 3 tickets for the playoff game this Saturday at 1pm. I want you to take the 3rd ticket and come with Bill and I. I'm driving and can pick you up at 11am. It's going to be a blast. Do you want to join us? Wishy-Washy Friend: "Umm...yeah...that sounds pretty good...I think...umm thanks...I mean...that should probably work...I guess...lemme [...]

  • wife says I'm angry and abusive
1311, 2019

10 Signs Your Marriage is in Big Trouble

By | November 13th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I'm usually skeptical of "lists" that promise to give you the secret to anything. They lack depth and explanation and aren't immediately useful - just "click bait" to make you open the damn article. Not so with the list in this video. In fact, there's about 50 MINUTES of clear explanation with this list. Two weeks ago I promised to share an interview with a "rock star couples coach". I'm [...]

  • Unhappy wife and husband
1311, 2019

My Wife Doesn’t Want to Spend Time With Me, What Can I Do?

By | November 13th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

There's this unbelievable vacation spot I'm in love with. It's a sprawling Spanish style home, 7500 square feet, immaculate, stunning home perched on top of a mountain overlooking a village on the Pacific coast of Mexico. It's got a gourmet kitchen that comes with a private chef and daily maid service. The food is amazing, the weather is perfect and the people are so friendly. You can walk down the [...]

  • wife is avoiding me
1311, 2019

My Wife Said I’m Needy, How Can I Be More Confident?

By | November 13th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

How do you know if you're being too needy? You know...smothering, joined at the hip, invasive, pestering and insecure. I remember those days well. And how do you know if you're being too independent? You know...detached, selfish, distant, inattentive, dismissive, self-absorbed and asshole-ish. I remember those days well too. The problem is that it's EASY for us to fall into either of those modes if we're not awake and aware. [...]

  • wife wants a divorce
1311, 2019

My Wife Just Said She Wants A Divorce, What Now?

By | November 13th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Death by Female. That's the tongue-in-cheek phrase I've adopted to describe the type of man who tends to read my newsletters. Somehow, some way, somewhere along the way you've been made aware that things aren't right. She's not happy. She's doesn't talk to you or look at you like before. Her cold, dismissive and often disrespectful attitude toward you feels like a daily dagger in the gut. The new friends, [...]

  • unhappy marriage
1011, 2019

Failing Marriage? How to Create a Better Relationship

By | November 10th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I had to learn this the hard way so I want to give you a head start... I had the best of intentions with regards to my marriage but yet when issues arose I struggled to find a solution to the problems. We focus so much, as men, on the result that we want. More affection, less arguing, more connection, less distance... It's easy to find faults when a relationship [...]

  • happy husband and wife kissing
1011, 2019

The Kind Of Man Who Can Save His Marriage From Divorce

By | November 10th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I was at a men's seminar a few years ago with Alex Allman and Sean Stephenson. These are two very confident masculine men. Alex looks like a typical 6 foot, handsome, ladies man. Sean is about 3 feet tall and is confined to a wheel chair with brittle bone disease he's had since birth. There was a guy in the audience who was getting frustrated and asked the question that [...]

  • confident sexy husband kissing wife in public
1011, 2019

How To Be More Confident in a Relationship

By | November 10th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Do you want an instant boost to your mojo? I'm talking about a sudden shift in your happiness, sense of purpose and connection with others. It's an blinding flash of calmness and an instantaneous increase in your well being. I do an exercise during my retreats called The Energy Audit. It's a very simple exercise, which involves identifying all the DRAINING, negative, counter-productive B.S. in your life. It's the people, [...]

  • struggling marriage
1107, 2019

How To Know Whether to Fix Your Marriage or Leave it

By | July 11th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

Over a beer the other day a frustrated man asked me, "How can anyone know if the grass is going to be any greener on the other side?!" He said, "I mean, really, I see just as many guys leaving marriages and being miserable as I see guys staying and being miserable. How do you decide?" I told him, "It depends on whether you go to the other side as [...]

  • Re-connecting with your wife
1706, 2019

How to Create an Intimate Connection with Your Wife – by Dan Dore

By | June 17th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I want to talk to you about something that's very close to my heart. It's something that has affected every area of my life in a positive way. In particular it has benefited my relationship with my wife and 3 kids enormously. It brought me back from a place of fear and insecurity and reminded me who I really was. I wanted to make this article for those of you [...]

  • Man and horse relationship coaching
1106, 2019

The Counter-Intuitive Way to Become More Attractive to Your Wife

By | June 11th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

A client once told me a story about his new girlfriend that made me laugh out loud. It was a Wednesday evening around 5:30pm. She was sitting on his couch and getting hungry. She said, "What do you want to get to eat tonight?" He said, "Tonight's my men's group night. I mentioned it earlier. I'll be eating at the restaurant. I need to leave in a few minutes." "Oh", [...]

  • Wife doesn't respect husband
2805, 2019

My Wife Doesn’t Respect Me, What Should I do?

By | May 28th, 2019|Categories: Marriage|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

About 3 years ago I was sitting in a private room in a brew pub with my local men's group having our regular "Men, Marriage and Sex" meeting. As the meeting started we were laughing about something stupid someone said and just then the waitress came in to take beer orders. She (jokingly?) said, "What is this? A he-man woman haters club?" We laughed and didn't even try to give [...]

  • Unhappy husband upset wife
2505, 2019

How to Make Your Wife Respect You

By | May 25th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

It's midnight. It's raining. You stopped by the grocery store to get stuff you really need and you're in a hurry to get home. Just as you throw the last bag in the car you turn to look at the empty shopping cart. What do you do next? Nobody's watching. Nobody will know. You can shove it into the space next to you and take off or you can beach [...]

  • How I saved my marriage
1905, 2019

How We Help You to Save Your Marriage

By | May 19th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

When men first reach out for help they are almost always feeling immense fear and pain...and they want to FIX that fear and pain right now! All of the sudden your reality has changed and you don't like it. You thought that the story was going to go one way and now it has made a terrible turn. She wants space. She wants freedom. She wants to feel connection. She [...]

  • Husband and wife arguing again!
1605, 2019

Unhappy Marriage, Is this Why Your Wife is Not Attracted to You?

By | May 16th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Has your woman ever complained about you being undependable or wishy-washy? Do you ever feel like you're stuck and just can't follow through on things? Do you ever feel like other men are more confident than you and get more done? I want to talk about being a WISHY-WASHY MAN. They are more common than you think. I was one - and still am sometimes. The key traits of a [...]

  • marriage problems unhappy couple
805, 2019

I Hate My Wife, How do I Create a Passionate Marriage Again?

By | May 8th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Do you ever let your thoughts of your "future relationship" piss you off in the present moment? Do you ever project negative thoughts on your lady and then get grumpy and mean just thinking about negative stuff? Do you fear things not working out tomorrow so much that you've become an agitated asshole today? That's what this woman I met had decided SHE was doing. Here's the quick story. "Joanna" [...]

  • Wife hates needy husband
3004, 2019

Unattractive Neediness – What to Do if Your Wife Calls You Needy

By | April 30th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Warning: This article might sting. I wrote it as if I was writing it to a slightly younger version of myself. This comes from my past. If you relate to what I'm about to tell you and it turns out you're a little needy, I assure you that there is a brighter future ahead. Here are some of the most aggravating things a man can hear from a woman. "You're [...]

  • Wife has asked for space
2104, 2019

My Wife Said She Wants Space

By | April 21st, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

The three words that make your neck hairs stand up and your gut tighten into nauseous knots are... "I need space!" I've talked a lot in videos about this issue, like here...and here. Those videos talk about what to think about her request for space and how to know whether it's really a request for divorce. This article is about the PRESSURE she feels and the distinction between the BAD [...]

  • Unhappy wife after argument with husband
3003, 2019

How Your Silence May Be Creating Your Detached Wife

By | March 30th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I've talked a lot lately about anger and how badly it can screw up your relationship. You know by now that a pissy, angry guy is doomed to create a pissy, angry life everywhere he goes. Women aren't attracted to him. Kids are afraid of him. And dogs don't trust him. But forget about them for a minute. Think about what pissy anger does to you. I know, it's not [...]

  • happy wife kissing husband
2403, 2019

My Wife Never Initiates Affection

By | March 24th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

One way to get unconditional love and affection and to be given god-like status is to pay for it. There are women who make a very good living of it. They will forgive you all of your misgivings, ignore all of your bad habits and will give you everything you want without argument or hesitation. And, hey, I don't judge you if you go that route. Another way to get [...]

  • Happy husband saved his marriage
1403, 2019

How Do I Save My Marriage? and Why it’s the Wrong Question to Ask

By | March 14th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

There's a "chicken and the egg" situation I want to address right here...right now. And this is crucial to HOW YOU THINK about getting what you want in life and relationships. How you think about everything is the only control you have and all you will ever need. Why? Because the moment you change the way you think about the things happening in your life...those very things will start changing [...]

  • Anxious, frustrated man and husband
2602, 2019

The Path From Feeling Anxious and Frustrated to a Calmer, Sexier Man

By | February 26th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Here's one fact I know about a man's sex life. If he spends much time feeling anxious, agitated, irritated, overwhelmed or angry...he isn't having much sex. Why? Simple. When we're feeling those emotions we're just not very sexy men. I know what you're thinking. Sometimes sex is the BEST remedy for those ailments. I agree! But if your mood is really shitty at the moment, self remedy is probably the [...]

  • Confident man husband and wife
2202, 2019

No Sex Marriage? Become a Husband With His Confident Swagger Back

By | February 22nd, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

My passion for helping men never gets boring. Every single guy...every single woman...and every single situation is unique. That's why "blanket advice" for any given problem is a problem. Most of the time the solution or response DEPENDS on very nuanced details. Still clients call me and email me with urgent questions for some "quick advice". Yes, there are a few tried and true tips that apply to almost all [...]

  • wife criticising and disrespecting husband
2102, 2019

How to Handle a Disrespectful, Critical Wife

By | February 21st, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Who do you call when a woman has said or done something that totally pisses you off? You know...those times when she makes a comment or a judgment about you that feels like a knife in the gut. It's that accusation or "joking" criticism, which has a poison tip. And that poison causes your nostrils to flare with anger...ready to defend yourself or return hostile fire. What's really going on [...]

  • Confident, masculine man and husband
1602, 2019

How to BE More Masculine and Create the Relationship You Want

By | February 16th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Has this kind of mind boggling conversation ever happened to you? “Hey, I’ve got a question.” “What is it?” “The other day I was driving down that road behind the lake and HUGE mountain lion ran right in front of me! He was beautiful, but scary, because he stopped on the side of the road and looked me right in the eye. Gave me chills. I read that a mountain [...]

  • feeling frustrated with my wife
1202, 2019

Are You Making This Common Relationship Mistake?

By | February 12th, 2019|Categories: Divorce, Marriage, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

There's something I want to share with you in this article... I'm seeing a lot of men falling into a huge trap. This can be a trap if you're married, in an exclusive relationship...or even if you're single. Having a girlfriend can be a HEALTHY decision or it can be a messy, emotional cry for help. You can make her the delicious icing on your cake. Or you can make [...]

  • man stressed out with wife and struggling relationship
102, 2019

Are You Headed for Divorce? Do You Recognize These Symptoms?

By | February 1st, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

John Gottman's research states that this relationship behavior is the #1 predictor of divorce. I’m taking his research and translating it into easy-to-understand language with easy to implement actions for you. John uses the term “The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” which are FOUR BEHAVIORS that he says predict divorce with about 90% accuracy. So if these things show up consistently in your relationship, you can bet things won’t be [...]

  • wife gives me the silent treatment
2601, 2019

How To Handle Silent Treatment in a Long Distance Relationship?

By | January 26th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Why doesn't anyone want to talk about this subtle, sneaky cause of divorce? Because they are STONEWALLING! This is the 3rd predictor of divorce and one of the hardest to fix. Why?? Because we're too busy playing games with stonewalling, sometimes referred to as "The Silent Treatment." This newsletter and video are a continuation of my 4-part series relating to marriage research by a guy named John Gottman. He bases everything [...]

  • being defensive kills her attraction to you
2001, 2019

Re-attracting Your Wife 101 – Stop Being so Defensive

By | January 20th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

This article is a continuation of my 4-part series based on John Gottman's research on what makes relationships last and marriages survive and thrive. I wanted to put his research into easy-to-understand language and easy to implement actions for you (and me). He named them "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse". These are the FOUR BEHAVIORS that can predict divorce with about 90% accuracy. In other words, if these things show up [...]

  • wife is always criticizing
1701, 2019

How To Avoid Divorce And Save Your Marriage?

By | January 17th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

There's this guy named John Gottman who does a ton of research on marriage. He's kind of a big deal because of all the detailed analyses he's done on what makes relationships last and marriages survive...or crash and burn. In my next 4 videos, I'm putting his research into easy-to-understand language and easy to implement actions to stop the madness! He came up with the term "The Four Horseman of [...]

  • wife arguing with me
1201, 2019

How To Deal With Angry Wife or Partner

By | January 12th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I used to think there was nothing scarier or more unpleasant than an angry woman. I grew up with the belief that "If Momma Ain't Happy, then Nobody Will be Happy". Later in life that turned into a belief in the "Happy Wife, Happy Life" load of B.S. I'm smarter now. The school of hard knocks was a bitch, but a necessary phase of my growth. Here's what I want [...]

  • make your wife attracted to you again
501, 2019

How to Reignite the Attraction When Your Wife Says its Gone

By | January 5th, 2019|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

The most frequent question I get from clients trying to resuscitate intimacy in their relationship is: "When is She Going to Want Sex With Me Again?!" And my answer is always the same. "I don't know...and neither does she." The next question is, "Well, I know she doesn't want sex right now, but I don't know if she even WANTS to want sex with me. How can I tell if [...]

  • Wife said she wants to leave
3012, 2018

What to Do if You Think Your Wife is Leaving You

By | December 30th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

The thoughts that go through your mind sound something like this: "This sucks. Why is this happening? Why didn't she say something? What a loser I must be! This is going to be so horrible for everyone. I hate that this is happening. This just may kill me." Here's the truth. Those are just thoughts. And...yes, thoughts can destroy you if you let them. In fact, everything you feel and [...]

  • sexual rejection sexless marriage advice
2112, 2018

Why Your Wife is Not Interested in Sex and Affection

By | December 21st, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

There's a woo-woo Buddhist rule (The Second Noble Truth as they call it) that says: All Suffering is the Result of Desire for Pleasure, Material Goods, and Immortality. What the hell does that mean? And what are you supposed to do with this information? I'll break it down for you in plain language any guy can understand. At the end of the day our suffering is all about desiring something [...]

  • Family and marriage splitting up
1412, 2018

How to Be a Confident Man When Your Marriage is Heading for Divorce

By | December 14th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Have you ever been driving along on a snow packed road in total control of your car...dashboard drumming to the radio...and all of the sudden...the car starts sliding out of control! It's the same feeling when you're leaning back in a chair in school and for a split second you feel like you're falling backwards. Your stomach gets knotted and all of your survival mechanisms kick in. Your heart rate [...]

  • Wife encouraging husband to be intimate together
812, 2018

Make Your Wife Want More Sex With You With This Vulcan Mind Trick

By | December 8th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I know...outrageous article title, right? On one hand, yeah, I want to get your attention. On the other hand, this is not a load of crap. I know a secret that sabotages sex lives around the world...including yours and mine. And in this video I'm going to clearly explain what it is. Then I'm going to tell you why it happens, what you must stop doing today and start doing [...]

2911, 2018

How to BE More Confident and Attractive to Your Wife

By | November 29th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I read something really funny the other day. A man was asked, "What do you think the THREE most important aspects are in a good sex life?" His answer? The proper length/girth ratio Being able to last a minimum of 30 minutes Is there a number 3?   This is funny because it's not far from the truth in how many of us have traditionally measured sexual success and prowess. [...]

2611, 2018

Attracting Your Wife Back – How You Handle Difficult Conversations

By | November 26th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Stupid arguments will kill your mojo and your relationship - it's a fact. One thing I became good at during 28 years of marriage was arguing badly. I have a PhD in things that don't work. They say Thomas Edison once claimed, "I never had an experiment fail. I know 10,000 things that don't work!" I wish I could be so glib about all of my failed experiments when it [...]

  • Angry wife wants divorce separation
1511, 2018

How to Cope With Separated Wife Sending Mixed Signals

By | November 15th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

I often say that one of the biggest factors leading to divorce is a man's FEAR of divorce. Why? Because when we're scared of anything we tend to screw things up. With the exception of your life saving instincts on the freeway or when threatened with physical harm, operating from fear usually has a bad outcome. When it comes to the gut wrenching, anxiety ridden fears of losing your relationship, [...]

  • wife doesn't love me
1111, 2018

Why Your Wife Says You’re Needy and Withholds Sex

By | November 11th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Is your wife complaining of your neediness? Has she asked for space or said she feels smothered? I talk a lot about women's intuition and their ability to FEEL the intentions of men, especially their romantic partners. In a long term relationship, this ability is even more fine-tuned. And when the relationship is starting to struggle, they can actually begin to feel male neediness in almost everything we say and [...]

  • Men's retreat in Colorado
411, 2018

How Talking to Other Men Can Make You More Attractive to Your Wife (and Other Women)

By | November 4th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I recently took a trip back east to my old stomping grounds to spend time with two very good, old friends. We stayed on my buddy's huge boat near Ocean City, MD. It was to be a "boys weekend" just to relax and chill. We spent the first night staying up drinking, playing guitar, telling stories and laughing until the sun came up (thanks 5-hour Energy). The next days were [...]

  • Unhappy couple
1510, 2018

My Wife Doesn’t Trust Me – Are You Causing Her to be Distant?

By | October 15th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

"She says she doesn't trust me anymore." "She won't even talk to me about why she's so mad." "She doesn't believe I'm ever going to change." These are some of the most common things guys tell me when intimacy and sex are disappearing in their relationship. They want to know why it's happening. What is she thinking? How do I FIX this. The first part of understanding where you are [...]

  • confident man
710, 2018

The Quickest Way to Being a More Confident Man

By | October 7th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

There's a bond that is like no other when two men commit to helping each other, without hiding anything, without holding anything back. When a man first contacts us he often doesn't have a certain type of man in his life... A man he can depend on A man he can trust Someone who sees his qualities AND his weaknesses Someone who isn't scared to tell him something he doesn't [...]

3009, 2018

This Habit Makes You Awkward Around Your Wife and Kills Your Sex Life

By | September 30th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

There this thing I do every now and then that sucks the wind out of my sails quicker than...(insert your own metaphor here). I have a feeling you might do this sometimes too. It's a crippling habit that fills a man with doubt, uncertainty and indecision. It creates a general mindset of inadequacy and sometimes-even ENVY. What's the habit? COMPARING YOURSELF AND YOUR SITUATION TO OTHER PEOPLE! Sometimes I compare [...]

  • Man being vulnerable
2309, 2018

Why Being Vulnerable with Your Wife is Sexy (and How it Can also Turn Her Off)

By | September 23rd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

This might get a little messy. I know how it feels to be judged or criticized for how "manly" I'm being. This isn't meant to judge or criticize. It's inside information - secret insight into the world of women and how they process masculine vulnerability and sensitivity. I'm not saying this is the way it SHOULD be. But as of now - this is a reality you need to be [...]

  • man trying to kiss uninterested wife
1209, 2018

Sexless Marriage? How to Become Attractive to Your Wife Again

By | September 12th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I talked to a man today whose wife has been detached, disinterested, dismissive and disrespectful. She wants her space and independence and has pretty much designed a life of her own including weekends and vacations. She thinks he should find his own life too and learn to be happy. He said he wanted to stop reacting so badly and learn to respond better to this new dynamic she's created. "What's [...]

  • sad man in no sex marriage
2608, 2018

How to Get Instant Relief from Horniness

By | August 26th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Instant relief from horniness, huh? Trust me. I'm an expert on this. And I've only recently started to figure this out late in life. It's not just relief from horniness, though. It's about relief from any type of feeling you can categorize as general disappointment. This might include anger, resentment or frustration. But let's stay with horniness for now. The worst part of feeling horny is the prospect that you're [...]

  • Powerful, confident man
1308, 2018

How to Respond to Your Wife’s Criticizing as a Powerful, Confident Man

By | August 13th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I'll make this short and sweet. Stop arguing about stupid shit. Yep. That's pretty much it. I hear about stupid arguments and heavy conversations all the time. They are usually over the most ridiculous crap that somebody (you know who) has escalated into a grand jury trial. It's not your fault that she is launching the silly attack, but it is your fault that you take the bait. I know [...]

  • More affection in my marriage
308, 2018

The Simple Question To Get What You Want In Your Marriage

By | August 3rd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

It takes only ONE question to get what you want. Whether it's a better job, more money, a date with a pretty woman, or more sex...there is ONE question separating you from what you want. It's the question you haven't asked yet. Yeah, that's it. You don't get 100% of the things you never ask for. Yes, HOW you ask is important. But it's not nearly as important as just [...]

  • wife doesn't want sex
907, 2018

More Sex and Affection – How to Help Your Wife Feel Sexy Again

By | July 9th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Have you ever tried to initiate sex and heard one of these replies? "Maybe later...we'll see." "I'm so tired." "I don't know." or, "I've got so much to do." Did you notice that none of those comments is a solid "No"? Yet, most guys I talk to take them personally and chalk them up as flat out rejection. They immediately feel resentful and defeated. And then come the sabotaging thoughts. [...]

  • Wife affair
507, 2018

Is My Wife Having an Affair? What Should I Do Now??

By | July 5th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Your gut tells you that something is up. You feel a constant nausea caused by the twisted, aching knot in your stomach telling you to be fearful and suspicious. You feel betrayed - at least deceived. You don't know whether to confront her with indignant anger or to curl up in a corner and slowly die. A little dramatic some might say? Not if you've been there. It's hell on [...]

  • Unhappy wife, divorce
2406, 2018

My Wife Just Told Me It’s Over, What Can I Do?

By | June 24th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

One day my life changed in an instant. It was a shocking realization that everything I thought was true about my myself, my wife and my marriage was wrong. It was the paralyzing reality that I had absolutely no control in stopping the avalanche of fear, rejection and uncertainty that was about to wipe me off the face of the planet. Do you know this feeling? It sounds like: I'm [...]

  • Wife needs space to find herself
1906, 2018

Wife Said She Needs Space To Find Herself, What Should You Do?

By | June 19th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Do you have drama in your life? Drama is the #1 killer of a man's freedom, peace and happiness. For the purpose of this letter I offer you a definition. DRAMA = Any external force of negativity, unrest, emotional projection or demands on your time or attention that you did not invite into your life. Many men feel victimized by drama. They believe they have no choice but to accept [...]

  • Men's group retreats in Colorado
1806, 2018

If You Knew How To Make Your Wife More Affectionate…Would You Do It?

By | June 18th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

You might not be a Spiderman fan - but it doesn't matter. When Ben Parker was talking to his nephew Peter Parker he said, "…your father lived by a philosophy, a principle, really. He believed that if you could do good things for other people, you had a moral obligation to do those things! That’s what’s at stake here. Not choice. Responsibility.” If you had a "Super Power" what would [...]

  • Loving affectionate marriage
1706, 2018

How to Create More Trust, Connection and Affection in Your Marriage

By | June 17th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

The other day I told you that I would create a video about the mistakes we make when trying to connect (or RE-connect) with a woman. This advice applies to a struggling marriage situation or a first date. These mistakes are the most common areas of improvement I address with men who are frustrated with the reactions they are getting in their marriage OR dating. In this video, I explain [...]

  • Married couple arguing
706, 2018

Save My Marriage – Why Your Wife Is Pulling Away From You

By | June 7th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I remember how alone I felt when I heard the words. "I just don't feel in love or attracted to you anymore. I'm not sure we ever had that kind of connection." It was like I was the only man in the world going through it and nobody else had ever felt this kind of pain and confusion. Nobody could possibly understand the level of desperation and anguish that comes [...]

  • how to save your marriage
206, 2018

The Conversation You’re Avoiding That Can Help Save Your Marriage

By | June 2nd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

In a recent email I mentioned having witnessed 90 year old men in nursing homes sitting in wheelchairs and pissing their pants. With a sour scowl on their face they watch the old ladies congregate, connect and laugh with each. They're angry, disconnected and isolated. I also know a lot of men in their 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's doing the same thing. I was afraid it might happen to [...]

  • wife asked for space
1305, 2018

How to Tell if Your Wife Wants Space or a Divorce

By | May 13th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Divorce, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

How do you tell the difference between a normal request to get some downtime alone and something more serious? How can you know if she is just tired or if she's quietly putting her ducks in a row and plotting her departure from the relationship? I address those questions in the video below, so you're going to have to watch my ugly mug for the answers. You need to respond [...]

  • Uncomfortable husband
605, 2018

The Uncomfortable Truth to Getting What You Really Want in Your Marriage

By | May 6th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

One of my favorite fiction books is The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. I lost count of how many times this book made my eyeballs swell up...pushing back tears. It's about car racing, risk, love, cancer, death, dogs...life. Here's one of many classic quotes from the book. "There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid [...]

  • Couple having fun together
505, 2018

The Secret to Building a Marriage With More Intimacy and Affection

By | May 5th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

There's a common mistake many of the men we coach make without even realizing it. I speak from experience - I used to make this mistake with my wife for many years. This article and video explains what that mistake is and how to stop doing it. What is the Big Mistake Men Make? Questions. Constant questions. These aren't normal questions like, "How was your day?" or "How is your [...]

  • Happy, confident man
2804, 2018

How to BE a Confident, Powerful Man in Your Marriage

By | April 28th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I want to share some quotes I heard from men this week: "It all became clear for me today, like a switch just flipped. It's unbelievable. I realize what I need to do now." "I finally see the futility in trying to control how she responds to me. My power is in how I respond to her and everything else." That's beautiful! So far this week I've had two more [...]

  • The importance of sensuous touch in a committed long term relationship
2004, 2018

Why Your Wife Won’t Touch You The Way You Want To Be Touched

By | April 20th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

There's something a woman can do with her finger that can send a man right to heaven. It may not be what you're thinking right now. It's better. You know it and I know it. And women will think I'm a liar. You know that feeling when a woman spontaneously strokes the back of your neck? Then she slowly carves out a pattern on the back of your head...gently scratching [...]

  • Wife showing affection toward me
1204, 2018

The Kind Of Confidence That Your Wife Is Attracted To

By | April 12th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Every other week I get together with a bunch of amazing guys in Fort Collins, CO. It's our "Men, Marriage and Sex" Meetup group. Recently we were talking about the difference between healthy self-confidence, arrogance and plain old assholism. (It's like a disease) I threw out the notion that healthy confidence in a man is where he consciously cares about what others think, feel, fear and dream...but he doesn't give [...]

  • Husband and wife in bed
504, 2018

How to Create More Affection, More Touch and More Sex in Your Marriage

By | April 5th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I believe how well we push our sexual edge is a direct reflection of how well we are living our life. What's a sexual edge? It's that part of our sensual and sexual nature where we feel the most alive, driven and creative. We know we're on the edge when we feel inspired - not anxious. We're pulsing with intense desire and ambition. We feel focused and directed with no [...]

  • Why your wife won't give you sex
3103, 2018

Why Chasing Sex ALWAYS Gets Less Sex

By | March 31st, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why a woman cannot respect a man who proves that he cannot respect himself. Here's a story that might be a little uncomfortable to read. It's about a guy I met 4 years ago who was banging his head against the wall in his marriage. His wife had totally pulled away from him and his sex life was non-existent. More and more frequently she was being dismissive and disrespectful toward [...]

2503, 2018

Why Your Wife Won’t Do What You Want Her To

By | March 25th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I'll never forget the words of a ruddy old horse trainer and the look on his client's face when he heard them. The client's horse wouldn't lope. That's like a canter in English riding. It's the next higher gear right after the trot. Well, this guy's horse would NOT lope. He tried for years to get her to lope. He would plead, kick, yell, make kissing noises and meditate on [...]

  • Arguing with husband
1903, 2018

Why Caring Less Attracts Your Wife Toward You

By | March 19th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

In any committed relationship, a person might hear the request to "Step Up" from their partner. The request normally comes from someone who has become frustrated and has some unmet expectations of you. I think it is much healthier to decide exactly what YOUR expectations of you are before chasing someone else's. This is what I call "Stepping Up" on YOUR terms. My work with married men reveals a lot [...]

  • perfect husband?
1503, 2018

The Key to Being the Husband Your Wife Wants in Her Bed

By | March 15th, 2018|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

While we can't always be fairy tale heroes from a Disney movie - expecting the best from ourselves WILL lead to more fulfilling marriages. The Good Men Project ran an article called 5 Ways Disney Films Are Bad For Men. I admire all of Aaron Anderson's work, but found myself saying, "yes, but…" while I read it. Based on my experience as a relationship coach for men, this is what [...]

  • Realise you married the wrong person
1003, 2018

Do You Think You Married The Wrong Person?

By | March 10th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

If you've clicked because of the title, that might mean the thought has crossed your mind at least once during your relationship. Don't worry - you're not alone. This "dirty little secret" isn't really that big of a secret. Our minds can go there easily - especially if there has been a frequent pattern of bad feelings, disrespect, disconnection, resentment, and waning intimacy. I suggest taking a big, deep breath. [...]

  • Wife showing affection to husband
303, 2018

How to Build Trust and Affection in Your Marriage

By | March 3rd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I want to give you one golden piece of advice today. It's a top secret tip to make your week go much better. How do I know this? Because my clients tell me over and over how EASY it is to totally change the dynamic in their relationship with their wife or girlfriend when they follow my advice. Just ONE simple shift. Something any man can do but most never [...]

  • Wife refuses to kiss me not affectionate
203, 2018

The Ultimate Power Tool To Fix Your Marriage

By | March 2nd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

If you have been in a relationship that started going sour, you may have blamed the lack of loving feelings or you may have blamed the lack of good sex. Some people think the loving words and behavior die first, then following close behind is the sex. Other people think the sex dried up; therefore, the loving feelings did too. The truth? Neither the lack of love nor the lack [...]

  • A calm man is a sexy man
2402, 2018

Kick-Start The Passion in Your Sexless Marriage

By | February 24th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

When conflict and sexual frustration have developed in a relationship, there has been a long history of unhappy feelings and bad behaviour from both people. Your partner knows all about the negative energy you have both created. While she is feeling unhappy and emotionally exhausted, she also knows how she has come-up short in how she has been treating you too. When a woman feels like this, it's impossible for [...]

  • fear of divorce
2302, 2018

Using the Pain of a Possible Divorce to Save Your Life

By | February 23rd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

As I tell clients who are struggling near the end of a relationship, I don't save your relationship - I help save you so you can either save it yourself or happily move on. The pain of the emerging end of your relationship feels like a twisted knot in your stomach. It's a dull ache that makes you lose interest in eating, drinking, or smiling. The taut, throbbing, swollen feeling [...]

  • Trapped in marriage?
1802, 2018

How Can A Broken Marriage Be Repaired?

By | February 18th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

It's been said there are no atheists in foxholes. This implies that under extremely stressful conditions, everyone starts looking to a higher power for help or guidance. Not everyone. When my marriage was turning horribly painful and stressful, I sure wasn't looking toward religion or any type of spiritual connection for help. I was too busy trying to fix things. I didn't need any stinkin' "spiritual help". I was using [...]

  • Golden Retriever
1002, 2018

Living the Life and Relationship You Really Want

By | February 10th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I want to talk with you about living in the kind of life and relationship you really, really want. I didn't say "getting" the life you want or "having" the life you want. What if you just DECIDED to start living the life you want right this moment? What kind of man would you have to BE in order to make that choice? We seek permission - acceptance - reciprocation [...]

  • Man feeling confident
902, 2018

Trying to Make Your Wife Happy Won’t Get You What You Want

By | February 9th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

If you're focusing on her, you're looking in the wrong direction. I get to collect a lot of data from frustrated married men. These are the guys who "never communicate their thoughts and feelings". Actually, they do. The floodgates open when they are in a place of safety and trust. Unfortunately, their marriage is missing both. They share their deepest secrets with me and I've memorized their painful comments. Have [...]

  • How to save your marriage
402, 2018

How to BE the Happy, Confident Man She Fell In Love With

By | February 4th, 2018|Categories: Marriage|

My passion for helping men never gets boring. Every single guy...every single woman...and every single situation is unique. That's why "blanket advice" for any given problem is a problem. Most of the time the solution or response DEPENDS on very nuanced details. Still clients call me and email me with urgent questions for some "quick advice". Yes, there are a few tried and true tips that apply to almost all [...]

  • Emotional husband and wife
202, 2018

The Unconventional Way to Heal Your Marriage

By | February 2nd, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Saving a marriage often requires you kill it first. It's like a doctor having to re-break a leg bone that tried to heal itself despite being infected and badly out of alignment. The only option is to break it again and allow it to heal from a healthier starting point. John and Jane decided their marriage would never heal as it was. They had waited too long. A festering infection [...]

  • How your wife knows what you think about her
102, 2018

The Secret to Showing Her it’s Safe to Come Back to Your Marriage

By | February 1st, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

What does your wife know that YOU know? Find out how this powerful concept builds trust and safety for her. The crowd laughed nervously as they watched a demonstration that would likely end in death. One of the world's most revered and accomplished horse communicators (aka Horse Whisperer), Marty Marten, was showing them how to get a young, frightened, aggressive mare into a trailer. It was a narrow, two-horse, straight [...]

  • Happy husband and happy wife
2701, 2018

How To Save Your Relationship And Become The Man You Want To Be

By | January 27th, 2018|Categories: Marriage|

The critical difference between reacting to your environment and shaping it - picking the wrong one almost never has a happy ending. This is not a scientific discussion so don't expect a lot of mumbo-jumbo about Darwin and "survival of the fittest" stuff. I have only one point to make and it's a warning about your future. Yes, I can predict it with stunning accuracy. How? I've got good data. [...]

  • Couple smiling and laughing together
2001, 2018

How To Make Your Sexless Marriage Fun And Flirty Again

By | January 20th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I need to make this quick – for personal reasons. You see, I’ve had my face in this computer for days now. I’ve been on the phone, I’ve been traveling, I’ve been making videos...and I’m working on a new group coaching program to help you with your confidence in your reltionships (find out more about that here) And I’ve become one boring ass guy in the process. I’m feeling a [...]

  • man trying to kiss uninterested wife
1901, 2018

Is Your Wife Acting Like She’s Not Married?

By | January 19th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

What are you to do when your marriage no longer feels like a marriage? This story may sound familiar. Act married? What the hell does that mean? I'll tell you. It's my article, so I get to define it. Marriage is, by my definition, a long-term, committed, romantic and sexual relationship. Wait. There's more. My rules, remember? Marriage is also a loving, intimate and safe space where two people choose [...]

  • Preparing for a divorce can make you attractive again
1301, 2018

My Wife Doesn’t Love Me – How Can I Fix This?

By | January 13th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Tim asked Jess for the fourth time in the last four days. "What's the matter?" "Why won't you talk to me about it?" "Why are you being so mean?" "Why aren't you attracted to me?" "You just don't love me anymore, do you?" All she could say was, "Yes, I love you, Tim... I just don't feel 'in love' with you anymore." Tim was stunned and speechless. That's when I [...]

  • Wife ignoring desperate husband
501, 2018

Stop Her Criticising You And Lead Her To The Relationship YOU Want

By | January 5th, 2018|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Tim's wife was on a rampage the whole weekend. Nothing pleased her and there was nothing he could do right in her eyes. She criticized everything he said and insulted his intelligence and his manhood multiple times. When he finally told her to knock it off or prepare to spend the weekend alone, she said, "Look, if you can't take me at my worst you don't deserve me at my [...]

  • My wife no longer wants to have sex or be intimate with me
3112, 2017

Wife Doesn’t Feel Sexy Or Want Affection Anymore

By | December 31st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

The Conversation I Have 100 Times a Year Steve: So what's been going on? Client: It's more like what's NOT going on. She says she not feeling sexy anymore and doesn't really need affection, romance or sex. It kind of turns her off. She's happy - thrilled even - relating with the kids, friends, the dog and her yoga…just not me. She says this is normal for people our age. [...]

  • Unhappy and frustrated man
2912, 2017

Fed-Up Being an Unhappy Husband?

By | December 29th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

The common hidden agenda afflicting many good guys who wind up as unhappy husbands. Every chronically unhappy husband I work with is battling a very common affliction. It's his mindset. The way he thinks about his role and his life as a married man is in need of what I call a "mojo makeover". And until he decides to buckle down and focus on changing his self-sabotaging thoughts he will [...]

  • Arguing couple
2212, 2017

How You Create Your Emotionally Distant Wife

By | December 22nd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Have you ever heard yourself saying things like: "Why can't she just see how irrational she is being?" "Why won't she just tell me exactly what she wants?" "She has no clue how hurtful she is being - how could she do that to me?" "Why can't she love me the way I think she should love me!" These statements are pretty good indicators that you're making a common mistake [...]

  • trapped in sexless marriage
2112, 2017

Trapped In a Sexless Marriage, What Can You Do?

By | December 21st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why freedom isn't something you have to ask for. Married men often complain to me about feeling chained up and stuck in a cell closely guarded by their wife. She is the gatekeeper of peace, harmony, happiness, kindness, affection and sex. They have bought into the myth: "If momma ain't happy then nobody's happy!" This is a mindset that creates despair and paralysis. It leads to chronic unhappiness and resentment. [...]

  • Married couple arguing
1612, 2017

What to Do When Your Wife is Always Angry With You

By | December 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I want to talk about psychology at a very basic level. Just getting a clear picture of WHY we do the silly, stupid things we do when we're afraid should be enough to help you make a shift as soon as today. Have you ever tried to hit a golf ball toward the green with a 10 acre pond immediately to your right? Yeah. It makes you nervous. It makes [...]

  • wife doesn't wear her wedding ring
1412, 2017

How to Attract Your Unhappy Wife Back Into Love With You

By | December 14th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

"Her wedding ring stares at me each morning from its new place on the bathroom counter. She's a ghost of her former self and glides through the house still taking care of business Sometimes I hear her laugh on the phone talking to someone about something. She has developed interests in anything that isn't me. Romance and sex are long gone and she claims she has lost all interest in [...]

  • marriage counselling
812, 2017

Marriage Counseling – How to Make It Work for You

By | December 8th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

There's a common pitfall many men plunge into when they go to marriage counseling. I see many of my clients making this mistake without even knowing it. And when counseling seems to fail them, they blame the counselor or their wife. My counselor friends tell me there's not much they can do to help. There's an underlying problem that keeps many men confused and frustrated. It's a mindset problem - [...]

  • Lying back to back facing away from each other
112, 2017

Is Your Wife Withholding Sex From You?

By | December 1st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What options do you have in the prison of a sexless marriage? Have you ever felt like your sex life has been stolen? Do you believe that women are the gate keepers of your sexuality? Are you concerned that your masculine sensuality will never be honestly expressed until you get the permission and approval from your partner? Many men answer "yes" to those questions. I used to believe the answers [...]

  • Girl leaving relationship
2411, 2017

Wife Said “I Need Space!” Now What?

By | November 24th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Is your relationship falling victim to the frustrating pursuer/distancer dynamic? Jane: “Why do you always do that?” John: “Do what?” Jane: “You ignore me. Everything is more important to you than me.” John: “No, it’s not.” Jane: “We need to talk about this. You’re doing it now.” John: “I don’t see the problem. You’re overreacting.” Jane: “No, I’m not!” John: “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Jane is [...]

  • Father and son sitting together
2311, 2017

5 Secrets You Need to Understand to Save Your Marriage

By | November 23rd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

This is the letter my dad would have written to his son if he knew what I know now. I'm a man who is in the business of providing relationship advice for men. I encourage and lead other men to improve their intimate relationships. The path I've taken to this place has been rocky - and I've learned things. My clients and I share a history of spending our early [...]

  • Wife always on her phone
1611, 2017

How to Reconnect to Your Phone Addicted Wife – by Dan Dore

By | November 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why does she spend all her time on her phone and not with you? Houston we have a problem. A communication problem. It's almost at pandemic levels now. If you've clicked on this article then I can safely assume you know what I'm talking about. Your wife or girlfriend spends way more of her time on her phone than she does with you. And it bugs the hell out of [...]

  • how to save your marriage
1611, 2017

Being Fearless and Creating the Marriage You Really Want

By | November 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

A true story about being the man you want to be I get to hear a lot of stories about men and marriage counseling - most not very good. This is because a lot men of kind of suck at the counseling process. They are way too passive and simply follow the lead of the counselor and their wife. They actually believe that the best solution is to passively become [...]

  • Stressful marriage upset wife
1011, 2017

The Secret Cure For The Chronically Unhappy Husband

By | November 10th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

The common hidden agenda afflicting many good guys who wind up as unhappy husbands. This may seem really obvious to you and you may hate me for it. It's like saying "Hey doc, it hurts when I do this. What should I do?" And he says, "Well...don't do that." Brilliant. In the case of the chronically unhappy husband, the secret cure is the same. Stop doing what is making you [...]

  • Wife shouting at husband - arguing constantly
911, 2017

How To Stop Your Marriage From Imploding

By | November 9th, 2017|Categories: Marriage|

Why independence and confidence is the best thing you can do for your marriage In a long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, Dr. John Gottman discovered that men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce. His research also shows there is an 81% chance that a marriage will self-implode when a man is unwilling to share power. It would make sense [...]

  • Wife showing affection
211, 2017

How to Make Your Wife More Affectionate in 7 Days

By | November 2nd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

One reason I do what I do is the joy of watching another guy's "lights coming on" for the first time. What do I mean by that? This is when a powerful new perspective and an incredibly confident wave of awareness happens for him. Or, he just mastered a new skill in his masculine mojo toolbox. One example of this is when a long time married guy spends SEVEN STRAIGHT [...]

  • Unhappy and frustrated man
211, 2017

5 Questions: Can You Change Your Unhappy Marriage to a Happy One?

By | November 2nd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

As an unhappily married man you DO have options Men often ask me about my "success rate" when it comes to helping them fix their relationships. And that's a red flag right from the start. Why? Because by "success" they normally mean: "Will my wife love me again?" "Will I stay married forever and never leave my kids?" "Will my sex life ever become what I hoped for?" "Will she [...]

2010, 2017

Your Wife Wants Space? Here’s What to Do (and Not to Do) Next

By | October 20th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I know the articles and videos I create can yank you around in all the wrong places sometimes and I'm sorry. But not really. I'm really not sorry for poking and prodding you into action. The reason I can tickle your pain points is because I've felt every single damn one of them myself. And as you already know, the pain isn't hard to recall. But what I know about [...]

1910, 2017

Why Being A Nice Guy Reduces The Affection In Your Marriage

By | October 19th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Bill is a nice guy husband. And he's furious. Meet Bill. Bill is one of those "nice guy husbands". He is strikingly familiar to me and models a former version of myself. By all appearances, he's got the world by the balls. He's got a beautiful home, gorgeous wife, 4 great kids and an enormous income from his successful software business. Despite his attractive 6 ft. 2 in. frame, dark [...]

1510, 2017

Want To Be More Confident In Your Relationship?

By | October 15th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I read something really funny the other day. A man was asked, "What do you think the THREE most important aspects are in a good sex life?" His answer? 1. The proper length/girth ratio 2. Being able to last a minimum of 30 minutes 3. Is there a number 3? This is funny because it's not far from the truth in how many of us have traditionally measured sexual success [...]

  • Unhappy relationship, unhappy wife
1510, 2017

How IT Workers (And Other Techies) Unknowingly Piss Off Their Women

By | October 15th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I've got a LOT of clients who are IT professionals, engineers, doctors, lawyers and other techie types who are apparently misunderstanding something I teach. There is an important distinction I want you to understand about the idea of being a calm, confident and deliberate man. I talk a lot about being calm confident and deliberate, but it can be taken too far.   There is a difference between being calm, [...]

  • Distant wife, unhappy marriage
1210, 2017

The Moment Your Wife Knows Your Marriage is in Trouble

By | October 12th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

A lesson all men must learn before it's too late Bob's happiness was infectious as he excitedly told us about his new girlfriend he met since his divorce a year ago. He showed up to our bi-weekly men's group meeting with a skip in his step. We started the meeting by sharing news, celebrations and/or epic fails since the last meeting. When we got to Bob he was smiling. He [...]

  • Having the confidence to choose when you have sex with your partner
510, 2017

The Simple Truth To More Sex In Your Marriage

By | October 5th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Are you making this one massive mistake that can ruin your sex life? This isn’t complicated. Constant bickering creates a simmering, resentful energy that will kill your sex life. This bickering can only occur when two or more people participate. You have the absolute power to not participate. Just stop arguing. When you stop, most of your arguments will stop. Period. Now. Go have some sex. What About Her? I [...]

  • Making separation into a positive life changing moment
410, 2017

I Don’t Want a Divorce But My Wife is So Unaffectionate Towards Me!

By | October 4th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Some strong advice for men who want more out of their marriage. There's nothing wrong with making a list of things you don't want…unless it's paralyzing you from doing anything you do want. This is exactly what happens when we become obsessed with what we're not getting instead of learning how to create what we really want. Sometimes it's easier to endlessly whine about something than to try anything new. [...]

  • Couple holding hands
2709, 2017

A Woman’s Secret Power That Men Want More Than Sex

By | September 27th, 2017|Categories: Communication, For Women, Marriage, Relationships|

Many men will understand the under-utilized power of a woman's little finger. Women's jaws would drop if they could listen in on my conversations with married men. Our discussions contradict just about every misconception wives utter about their husbands. Husbands don't want to hurt. They don't want to argue. They don't want to control. And they definitely don't "just want sex". These guys are desperate for her to know the [...]

  • Unhappy Groom in marriage
2709, 2017

Did Your Wife Take Away Your Sexy, Self Confidence?

By | September 27th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What happened to you? Find out the missing link in a married man's mojo. There's a heart-breaking story I hear over and over again from married men. It sounds exactly like this. "Dear Steve," "I've been reading your stuff for a while now. The way you talk about confidence, masculine power and mojo has made me realize something. And it pisses me off!" "Before I got married I WAS that [...]

  • How saying I'm sorry too much is affecting your relationship
2009, 2017

Your Willingness To Always Apologise Turns Her Off

By | September 20th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Are you tired of saying "I'm sorry" and getting nothing in return? A common complaint men have about women is that they never say they're sorry…for anything…ever. Here's what I know about these men. I know this because I was one. My frustration with a woman's inability to apologize was caused by my desire for reciprocation. In other words, I spent so much time apologizing for everything I just wanted [...]

  • Sunset Kiss with your happy wife
2009, 2017

Your Need For Her To Be Happy Is Killing The Passion In Your Marriage

By | September 20th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Learn how to improve your independence and start attracting her at the same time Many husbands and boyfriends these days are operating to a dangerous set of "rules". I didn't see this and I didn't escape this reality until much later in life. Now that my eyes are clear and my head is on straight, I want to help you before it's too late. The Dangerous Rules The dangerous rules [...]

  • Is my marriage worth saving?
1409, 2017

Is Your Marriage Worth Saving? Or Can YOU Save It?

By | September 14th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What you can do instead of trying to save a marriage you don't want There are some things just not worth fighting for. And one of those is a marriage totally devoid of the most basic elements of an intimate relationship. Why would you fight for a marriage full of disrespect? Why would you hold on to a relationship where kindness is held in contempt? Why would you want to [...]

  • Successful man at work but failing in your relationship?
1309, 2017

At Work You’re Loved, At Home You’re Called Manchild

By | September 13th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why can’t high achievers, who are so adept at solving problems at work, fix the problems in their relationships? For many professionally successful men, the same traits that take them to the top of their career can take their relationships to the bottom. Psychologist Dr. Tony Ferretti asks the question, “Why can’t high achievers, who are so adept at solving problems at work, fix the problems in their relationships?” In [...]

  • How to get better sex from your wife
909, 2017

The Simple Rule to Bringing Sex Back Into Your Relationship

By | September 9th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Learn this simple rule to turn your sex life around I tend to coach and write about the things I most need to heal within myself. And that leads me to the subject of sex. I’m writing this article more for me than for you, but you’re welcome to eavesdrop on my internal conversation. I need to write myself a reminder. A no-so-gentle kick in the ass memo. You see, [...]

  • Wife is constantly upset and angry with me
809, 2017

Why Is My Wife Always Upset With Me? Maybe You’re a Copycat Husband

By | September 8th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why copycat husbands must learn to be happy on their own terms. Do you become unhappy just because your wife is unhappy? Do you tend to copy her energy though all of her ups and downs? Do you get nervous and angry when she’s angry? Yes? Stop doing that. You hate it and you know it. And she hates it even worse. Let me explain. The Copycat Husband’s Modus Operandi [...]

  • Does your marriage feel like it's falling apart?
109, 2017

Unhappy Marriage: Does Your Wife Treat You like You’re a Pain in Her Ass?

By | September 1st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Learn why your self-reliance is the foundation for a truly healthy relationship Have you ever read something that felt powerfully true and powerfully disturbing at the same time? I’ve been studying a book called “Beyond Success and Failure – Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity”. In this book, William and Marguerite Beecher are unmerciful in telling the truth about personal happiness. The book was originally published in the 1960’s and has [...]

  • Distant wife, needy husband
109, 2017

Is This the Reason That Your Wife Is Acting Distant?

By | September 1st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Is your relationship failing because you treat it like a political debate? Maybe a politician’s special gift to humanity is to serve as a bad example. The U.S. presidential debate last year was like basic training for showing you what not to do in your relationship. Now, in defense of the politicians, I must acknowledge they have a very different motivation than you do. Their behavior is driven solely by [...]

  • You can't love her if you're scared of losing her
2608, 2017

If You’re Afraid to Lose Her, You Can’t Properly Love Her

By | August 26th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Find out the fearless leap a man must take to improve your struggling relationship. I’ve identified one very consistent indicator in men that determines the future viability of their struggling relationship. This one thing is what keeps you from being the type of man who can reverse the negative energy and consciously create the partnership you crave. It applies whether you’re married or in a committed relationship where you’re feeling [...]

  • How your wife knows what you think about her
1608, 2017

Sexless Marriage: 10 Ways You Show Her That You Don’t Think She’s Good Enough

By | August 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Do you play this toxic game? Find out how you can change the rules...if you want to. It's one of the most self-destructive afflictions of the human race. Feeling inadequate. Not "good enough". Hell, without any help we can manufacture lots of evidence on a daily basis to confirm our own self-doubt. We're quite talented at kicking our own ass without someone else pitching in. But we choose to bring [...]

  • How to improve your marriage
3007, 2017

Why Is My Marriage Falling Apart? Because You Care Too Much…

By | July 30th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

I work with a lot of men who I can relate to. They are results driven men. Fast thinkers. Good talkers. Articulate, insightful and opinionated. Mix that stuff with a heavy dose of being emotionally intuitive, sensitive, hopelessly romantic and sexually "amped up", well, we're pretty much screwed. Sometimes we don't know when to shut up and not argue. We have a hard time just chilling out and leaving well [...]

  • Saving your marriage
2107, 2017

How to save Your Marriage and Rekindle Her Interest in You

By | July 21st, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I spend a lot of time with men who are just now discovering the possibility of separation or divorce. Every man wants the same thing. He wants his wife back. He wants her to love him again. He wants to “save the marriage”. He wants a second chance to prove things can be better and he can be different. He would give anything if she would just change her mind [...]

  • Making separation into a positive life changing moment
1507, 2017

How to Use Being Separated to Save Your Marriage

By | July 15th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

This uncomfortable conversation can go both ways. In this example I will use “Barb” as the initiator and “Pete” as the reluctant partner. Barb: I can’t do this anymore. I think we need to separate for a while. I need some space to sort things out. Pete: Sort what out? Why can’t we do it together? Barb: You don’t get it. I feel smothered and need time and space to [...]

  • Married couple arguing
1307, 2017

Urgent Surgery for Your Dying Relationship

By | July 13th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

You've spotted the symptoms but how can you identify what's causing the damage to your relationship? When men realize their marriage is bleeding out they rush into my "emergency room"…which means I receive an urgent email asking for help. I have to remain calm to help them calm down. Breathe. Focus. And I have to help them learn quickly how to not make matters worse. Even with the trauma of [...]

  • Unaffectionate wife
807, 2017

Why Your Wife Won’t Give You Affection and What to Do about It

By | July 8th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What I'm about to tell you is so mind-numbingly basic you will probably think to yourself, "Wow, Einstein, is that the best you could come up with?" Yep, it's the very best advice I can give to a fellow man because I know how damn hard it is to stay focused on the basics. We tend to over-think and over-complicate matters of female love and affection. If you golf you [...]

607, 2017

What to Do When Your Wife Says She’s Not in Love with You Anymore

By | July 6th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What should you think when your wife pops an unexpected surprise like this? Speaking of unexpected surprises, here are a few more I’ve cataloged along my way working with unsuspecting husbands. I just don’t feel that way about you anymore. I think of you more as a friend now than anything else. There’s no spark anymore. We just don’t connect anymore – never did really. I don’t trust you anymore [...]

  • Wife needs space from your neediness
2206, 2017

Wife Doesn’t Want Sex Anymore? What Can You Do?

By | June 22nd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Can you relate to these traits of what I call the "hummingbird husband"? I can. Hummingbirds are nervous little fellers. Uncertain and twitchy. They don't trust anyone or anything. Always questioning. Anxious as hell hovering for their turn at the feeder. And with a flying heart rate around 1000 beats per minute I wonder why they just don't explode in mid-air. Can you relate? I can. The Guaranteed Libido Killer [...]

  • Are you jealous of your wife's male friends?
1606, 2017

Am I Wrong to be Jealous of My Wife’s Boyfriends?

By | June 16th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Does your wife have inappropriate male friends? How are you going to think about that? This is specifically for the husband in a rocky marriage where you feel boundaries are being crossed. And for some reason you haven't figured out what to do about it yet. Your wife's "boyfriends" may come in various shapes and sizes. These are some of the descriptions I hear from husbands about the questionable men [...]

  • ASK HER TO BE THE WOMAN
1506, 2017

When She Says ‘Be The Man’ Can You Ask Her to ‘Be The Woman’?

By | June 15th, 2017|Categories: Communication, For Women, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

It's a logical question. Can you ask her to "Woman Up"? It's tough always being the man in your marriage. Guys often tell me they are asked to be the man by their wives who claim to need more of this and less of that. "Pay attention to my needs and do that man thing you do so I can feel what I need to feel!". I wrote a recent [...]

  • How to be 'The Man' in your relationship
1006, 2017

3 Things She Wants When She Says “I need you to be the man in this relationship”

By | June 10th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

If this is what she means by "being the man", is it asking too much? Hold on tight. This might stir up a hornet's nest. But I don't care. I don't write about how things should be. When a man asks for help I only care about how things are. Then I help him figure out what to think and do next. When he tells me he just heard, for [...]

  • Unhappy relationship, unhappy wife
906, 2017

Is Your Wife Ice Cold While You’re a Hot Mess?

By | June 9th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Why your "hot mess" of vulnerability may be pushing her farther away. This article is bound to tick off idealists who believe "it shouldn't be like that". Sorry. But for scads of married men it is like that. The cold, hard truth is millions of "openly vulnerable husbands" (OVH) face cold, distant and disrespectful wives every day. Even in our "highly evolved" age, the year 2017 has brought more questions [...]

  • How to save your marriage
106, 2017

3 Secrets to Become The Kind of Man Who Can Save His Marriage

By | June 1st, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

It's funny how divorce opens your eyes to things you never realized when you were married. I know this won't apply to all men struggling in marriage. But it applies to nearly 100% of the men who contact me for help. And it applied to me when I was in their shoes. We're guys who thought everything was going along pretty well - not great - but okay. We thought [...]

  • Leading your marriage
2705, 2017

Who is Leading Who in Your Marriage?

By | May 27th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

The most important leadership skill in your marriage may not be what you think. Dad should be the leader of the family. No, wait. If Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. No, wait. Men need to be the King and treat their wives like Queens. But if you treat her like a Queen… she'll think of you as her King. Clichés and metaphors are cute but they can cause a [...]

  • How can you say how you feel to your wife?
2505, 2017

I’m Putting Her First, Why is She Still Unhappy?

By | May 25th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

What would happen if you fearlessly declared everything you've always wanted in your relationship? Unhappy husbands tell me their stories and they're not pretty - the stories, not the husbands. My job is to help him clear the fog in his head and untangle the knot in his gut so he can think clearly and make some tough decisions. One of the hardest decisions a guy has to make is [...]

  • How to increase the intimacy in your relationship
1205, 2017

I Feel like We’ve Become ‘Just Friends’ but I Want Us to Be Lovers Again

By | May 12th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Being your wife's best friend is fantastic…unless it's the wrong kind of friend. Bob was nearly crying when he told me something that was really eating at him. "She told me she feels that we're more like good friends than lovers. We're great parents and we get along perfectly - except she says she really isn't attracted to me 'that way' anymore." I told him he was in the company [...]

  • My wife is checking out my neighbour
1005, 2017

What to do if Your Wife is Checking Out That Neighbor Dude

By | May 10th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

What if your wife is secretly craving a monster within you she hasn't seen in a long, long time? The Knot in Your Stomach This may be hard to read. Hell, it was hard to write. This is the cold, hard truth about how many husbands suddenly find themselves on the receiving end of "I just don't feel connected anymore". It's a heart stabbing moment that's best avoided, if possible. [...]

  • Happy divorced man
2704, 2017

Why Acting Like a Happily Divorced Man Can Save Your Relationship

By | April 27th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Do you know why your unhappy wife secretly notices happily divorced guys? I'm a happily divorced man. The divorce came first - then the happy. Pain first - then growth. It just doesn't happen for us the other way around. This is true for any guy who attains happily divorced man (HDM) status. First come the pain, confusion, anger, powerlessness…did I say pain… of feeling like a failure. It feels [...]

  • Dorothy from the wizard of oz
2304, 2017

How To Avoid Arguments In Your Marriage With This Wizard Of Oz Trick

By | April 23rd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Relationships|

Dorothy pulled the curtain back and found the truth. Can you be that brave in your relationship? Do you remember that scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy pulls back the curtain on the all-powerful and scary Wizard? “I think you are a very bad man,” said Dorothy. “No, you are all wrong,” said the little man meekly. “I have been making believe.” “Making believe!” cried Dorothy. “Are you [...]

  • Couple fixing their relationship
1704, 2017

Your Unhappy Marriage Is Going To Be OK

By | April 17th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

The Man's Perspective - written by Steve Horsmon Do you know why romance and sensuality novels for women are so popular? Short answer: the authors know exactly how to give women that feeling. That feeling has many facets and she loves them all. She tingles with the flirtatiousness of the conversation. She blushes at the boldness and sensual innuendo. She craves the unapologetic desire. She wants to be “taken” by her [...]

  • Wife riding her husband
1604, 2017

How To Show Your Wife It’s Safe To Ride You Again

By | April 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

Steve Horsmon explains how to take the reins in your marriage and create an environment that’s more fun for both of you. “Ladies are naturally better with horses than men. They’ve got softer hands.” “What do you mean?” I asked the leather-faced trainer who was studying how a woman was calmly gliding her horse around the corral. He said, “When it comes to listening to what the horse is communicating, [...]

  • Couple arguing
1604, 2017

My Marriage Is In Crisis, How Can I Save It?

By | April 16th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

How you talk about your marriage is a predictor of your chances for improving it. I was talking to a very distraught man the other day and he told me about his most recent argument with his wife. "She told me she can't even think about making summer vacation plans with me." "Why is that?" "Because she said our marriage is in crisis."  "Is it?" "Yeah, if she says so, [...]

  • Chasing affection in your marriage
604, 2017

Still Chasing Affection and Connection From Your Uninterested Wife?

By | April 6th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

She's stuck, lost, indecisive, distant, disinterested, uncertain and noncommittal. Is it possible you're the wishy-washy one? She's been sleeping in the guest room for 6 months. Or she moved into a rent house a year ago to get some space. Or she brings up the option of divorce about once a month. Or she is simply a stranger in the house with whom you share kids, laundry and electric bills. [...]

  • Couple laughing having fun together
2603, 2017

How To Have Connected, Playful Relationships

By | March 26th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

I want to talk with you about living in the kind of life and relationship you really, really want. That last sentence has a key word in it. It's the word "living". Note, I didn't say "getting" the life you want or "having" the life you want. Those two words imply there is somewhere you must GO to achieve the life you want. But, what if living that life is [...]

  • How to talk dirty to your wife
2403, 2017

Save Your Marriage – Learn To Talk Dirty To Your Wife

By | March 24th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

Is your discomfort with "dirty talk" affecting the depth of intimacy you have with your wife? In a coaching session the other day with a long time married guy, the uncomfortable topic of "dirty talk" came up. This is part of that conversation. "I don't know why, Steve, but our lovemaking has ALWAYS been silent. I've never liked it but I don't know how to change it." "If it was [...]

  • Preparing for a divorce can make you attractive again
1803, 2017

How Preparing for Divorce Could Save Your Marriage

By | March 18th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Tony said he never saw it coming, but his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Jenna, was starting to chase him again. I told him it would happen - it almost always does in cases like this. Over the last year Tony was watching with shock and gut wrenching pain as Jenna pulled away from him, their marriage and even their kids. When he contacted me he had a long, sordid story to tell. Funny [...]

  • Having the confidence to choose when you have sex with your partner
1703, 2017

How To Become A Man Who Is So Confident He Can Turn Down Sex

By | March 17th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|

True story. I couldn't make this stuff up. Meet "Brian". Hardworking, kind-hearted, dutiful father and under-sexed husband of 15 years. Brian told me this on a phone call the other day. "I'm almost embarrassed to tell you this – given my whining and shit over the last few months. But I had to turn Emily down for sex this weekend." "Why does that embarrass you"? "Well, first, I felt bad [...]

  • Can you predict when your marriage or relationship will end?
903, 2017

How to Predict the End of Your Marriage – 2 Years Before

By | March 9th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

A lot of couples are painfully unaware of this 2-year warning clock in their marriage. I thought I was all alone. I thought I was special. But over the years my clients have proved me wrong. This happens nearly every day. There is a very definite trend with marriages that end with the man left standing in shock and awe. Didn't see it coming. How could she be so cold? [...]

403, 2017

My Wife Sets Up Hoops – I Jump – I Miss – What Now?

By | March 4th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Here is the best (and free) advice to men who are tired of jumping through hoops. Just stop. Dammit Steve, she is always complaining about something I haven't done right. She says the work I've been doing on myself isn't working for her. She isn't happy with how I reacted to her being upset last night. There is always a new "hoop" to jump through to satisfy her and I [...]

2602, 2017

She Said I’m an ‘Amazing Man’. Why Didn’t My Wife See That?

By | February 26th, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

Sometimes husbands become amazing men after divorce. Why can't we achieve that beforehand? "I'll probably never be able love anyone like I loved, Jessica." Paul told me a few weeks after his divorce from his wife of 18 years." The last year of his marriage was an exhausting struggle as he watched Jessica pull farther and farther away until she finally moved out. "We can still be friends, can't we?" [...]

2302, 2017

Is Sex So Important That You Would Leave Me and Our Kids?

By | February 23rd, 2017|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

Have you ever had this conversation? It’s not really about the sex…is it? Bill and Sarah were at it again...over the last 15 years it seemed this conversation had no end. But that didn’t stop Bill from trying. Bill: “We can’t just keep going on like this!” Sarah: “Like what?”Bill: “Once again you’re not in the mood for sex and I get rejected. I want to talk about it and [...]

1902, 2017

No More Sex. No more Patience?

By | February 19th, 2017|Categories: Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

What’s a husband to do when passion runs cold and his patience has run out? John: “Honey, I’d like to make time for lovemaking this weekend.” Jane: “Maybe. We’ll see.” John: “I think what you meant to say was ‘That sounds great baby. It’s been too long hasn’t it?’” Jane: “Ummm…no, that’s not what I meant.” John: “And that seems to be the problem. You’re more comfortable keeping our intimate [...]

507, 2015

I’ve NEVER done anything like this…but I’m glad I did

By | July 5th, 2015|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity|

Hey, I guess I should practice what I preach, even if it scares the hell out of me. The meditation recording I made below did exactly that! I kind of need your support here because I'm out of my comfort zone.  Would you consider actually doing this meditation with me?  Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone? Please try.  Let me know how it feels when you're [...]

2409, 2014

Warning! Divorced Guy Gives Relationship Advice

By | September 24th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

By: Steve Horsmon I sometimes get odd reactions from people - mostly it's an awkward silence. Friends, family, and prospective clients all see the irony in a divorced guy helping people in their relationships.  They either avoid talking about it or get the courage to ask, "Why should anybody trust you with saving their relationship?  Yours didn't work out so well, did it?" My answer is always the same. I [...]

909, 2014

The Romance Killing Conversation You Must Stop Dead in its Tracks

By | September 9th, 2014|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Relationships|

By:  Steve Horsmon   Hey there, Starting tomorrow, let's all take the pledge to see this conversation coming and promise to kill it on sight. This conversation is called, "Let's talk about why I am right and why you're wrong." This is the most aggravating, angering, unattractive, non-sexy, belittling, and judgmental conversation you can have with your romantic partner. It suffocates ANY preexisting feelings of intimacy, attraction, trust, or respect. [...]

709, 2014

Should Any Man Be Given This Much Sexual Power Over Women?

By | September 7th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Sex|

Hello Gentlemen and Ladies, That happens to be famous ad headline used by a writer named Gene Schwartz.  He knew how to get attention.  And THAT is the very problem I want to talk with you about. Don't fall for it.  You're way smarter than that and we both know it. But you DID fall for it and so have I.  I've opened many emails with titles like this too [...]

1006, 2014

Sex And Marriage

By | June 10th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Sex|

Now that I have your attention, let’s talk for a minute about sex. The simple fact is that nearly every sex survey done with men about sex reveals that they wish they had MORE SEX, MORE OFTEN, with MORE VARIETY.  Well no sh*t.  Brilliant. This fact is why you will find or be bombarded by every self-help “sex guru” in the world with ways to meet women, ways to get [...]

705, 2014

Two BIG Troubles With Couples Counseling!

By | May 7th, 2014|Categories: Marriage|

Are you considering couples counseling? If so, read this first. This story is about a client we'll call Dave. Dave and his wife, Emily, have had some major issues for the last 5 yrs. They don't talk about anything beyond the kids and work. They are sleeping separately on most nights with Dave on the couch. Emily says she is "so done" with talking about what's wrong all the time. [...]

2804, 2014

Two Things Women really, Really, REALLY Want

By | April 28th, 2014|Categories: Marriage|

By:  Steve Horsmon It's Not What You Think, Mister! You know what really ticks off some women?  It's reading an article like this from some dude generalizing about what he THINKS women really want. They will say (have said), "Holy crap, dude! Are you forgetting that women have brains and mouths and can actually COMMUNICATE with their WORDS?! Why don't you just ASK them what they want instead [...]

1104, 2014

Are You Putting Up With TOO MUCH From Her?

By | April 11th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

By:  Steve Horsmon Have you ever asked yourself, "Am I putting up with too much from her?"  Maybe you can relate to this. Most guys can. In fact, most women can too.  All you have to do is switch the words around to get maximum benefit from this post. Have You Been HERE Before? I found myself getting irritated this past weekend. But, I didn't say anything. Wrong place and [...]

2403, 2014

All the Intimacy You Want With ONE Habit (and why you don’t have it yet)

By | March 24th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

By:  Steve Horsmon   How do you get all the intimacy you want? You don’t.  Nobody really “gets” intimacy unless they are paying for it Let’s talk about your intimate life. A lack of intimacy in your relationship is one of the most hopeless feelings you will ever feel. It is the source of overwhelming emotions of resentment, anger, impatience, and frustration. A relationship starved of intimacy is rich with [...]

1103, 2014

The REAL Reason She Needs You to Treat Her Like #2

By | March 11th, 2014|Categories: Marriage|

By: Steve Horsmon (This was originally published on the Women Approach You website.) Writers are taught to always have an irresistible headline. Make your reader WANT to read more. Make them curious. Make them mad. Make them desperate to find out the solution you offer. My headline implies I'm about to tell you why women only like bad boys who treat them like crap, right? Wrong. Now that I've got [...]

2402, 2014

The 3 BEST Ways to END an Unhappy, Sexless Marriage

By | February 24th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I've been thinking hard about how to give you some unhappy, sexless marriage advice. I know you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't have a deep desire to figure out what to do and where to go with the woman in your life. You may be a guy who says, "Our relationship is really pretty happy, except that we never have sex anymore." Or you may say, "Sex with [...]

502, 2014

3 Simple Ways to Increase Her Desire by Doing LESS Today

By | February 5th, 2014|Categories: Marriage|

I recently discussed why one key to avoiding divorce was a matter of courage. There are many examples of courageous behavior you can learn about in your marriage. When you choose to be courageous from a place of love in your heart, you immediately increase her desire to be with you! It takes a man of courage to do LESS sometimes. I want to share 3 secrets of how a [...]

102, 2014

Divorce NOT an Option? Think Again My Friend

By | February 1st, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

Do you think divorce is not an option for you?  I have some information for you. This article is rated R for Raw. It may sting a little. I'm going to get right to heart of something you may have been struggling with. If this isn't your situation, consider forwarding this to a friend who may need to read it. If this is your situation, it may hurt a bit. [...]

  • How I saved my marriage
2001, 2014

How to Re-Connect to Your Shut Down Wife

By | January 20th, 2014|Categories: Communication, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

By: Steve Horsmon My work with married men reveals a lot of patterns. While each relationship is unique, they tend to fall into a few recognizable categories with familiar dynamics and behaviors. One particular category is one I call the “I Wish He Would Step Up” condition. One way I can detect this state is when I hear a client say things like: What more can I do? How perfect [...]

801, 2014

Men Only: How Your “Dadly Gifts” Can Improve Trust and Respect

By | January 8th, 2014|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity|Tags: |

By: Steve Horsmon   Improve trust and respect  when you become aware and committed to your "Dadly Gifts"! Click on the link below to read the Do's and Don'ts I published in Expert Beacon for men who want to improve emotional safety in their families. You CAN have the trust and respect you crave. Give your gifts! http://expertbeacon.com/teaching-dads-how-build-emotional-safety-within-their-families/#.Us2ncbT5Hp8

3112, 2013

Female Rejection: How to Lose Your Fear in 2014

By | December 31st, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

By: Steve Horsmon Every man I know has faced the “horror” of female rejection in one way or another. It can raise its ugly head with our own mothers in childhood or with the object of our 6th grade crush. The fear rattles our core when it comes to dating and getting the “Yes” answer we crave. Married men tremble at the thought of another eye-rolling, “is that all you [...]

1512, 2013

Her Foul Moods: How the Superior Man Responds

By | December 15th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|Tags: |

Hey buddy! Here's the question I got again this week. "Hey Steve, what am I supposed to do when she gives my that tone of voice that pretty much says FUCK YOU. You know, it comes with that foul mood and snarky voice that tells you she's pissed about something or someone and you don't have a clue why? It's so freakin' annoying, disrespectful, and honestly, hurtful as hell. How [...]

312, 2013

5 Steps to Being GREAT in the Sack!

By | December 3rd, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

I read a LOT of articles with that title…just to see what they’re saying, of course. It’s not like I need any more insight. Hell, after 30 yrs. of trying, I should be damn near perfect by now.  ;^) So, these are for you - in case you’re not perfect yet.  In case you want to be a man who is "work in progress". That's how I think of myself.  [...]

2611, 2013

The BEST Way to Show Her “Thanks” – Change Your False Beliefs!

By | November 26th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

There is nothing more insidious in a relationship than the feelings of judgment, disapproval, and resentment. These feelings slowly decay trust and undermine respect They will ultimately destroy your relationship. Those feelings often come from false beliefs we’ve been harboring for a long time. Some of these beliefs are stupid stereotypes we’ve chosen to project onto our partner. We laugh about them with our friends. Some of them have some [...]

1811, 2013

The BIGGEST TURN OFF She Will Never Tell You

By | November 18th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Sex|Tags: , , , |

One of the most valuable pieces of information I can share with you about sexual attraction and sexual rejection is this. By the time sexual frustration and conflict enter into a relationship, there has been a long road of bad feelings AND bad behavior on both sides. Your wife or girlfriend is CRYSTAL CLEAR about the negative energy you BOTH have generated. While she is feeling bad and emotionally mistreated, [...]

2910, 2013

Husbands, Horses, and Empathy for Your Wife

By | October 29th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|Tags: , , , , |

In my work with married men struggling with their relationship, I’ll use ANY tool I need to make a break-through. Sometimes my background in training horses comes in handy to create “Ah-ha” moments for my frustrated clients.  This article will help you understand that there is another language you must learn to be able to empathize with your wife. Understanding how horses think and feel while trying to communicate with [...]

810, 2013

Are You F@#$%*G Crazy? Reacting vs. Responding

By | October 8th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

By:  Steve Horsmon Here's the scene. You're at work, running behind schedule, and there's a stack of "to do's" piling up.  You're stressed.  Then your boss or customer calls with an "urgent" matter they want you to work on.  Maybe it's a brand new assignment, a complaint, a personnel problem, or even a new order you're not sure you can handle. How do you respond? If you're anything like me, [...]

110, 2013

How to Decide What to do With Your Marriage

By | October 1st, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , |

  So. There it is. The question that has been in your head for quite some time now. Maybe you’ve never said it out loud before or have seen it in writing. Maybe you’ve been secretly talking about it with your therapist, your mom, or your friends. Or…your lover. This question causes some of the most painful thinking and talking a person can imagine. There’s a really good reason for [...]

1709, 2013

Saving Your Marriage vs. Saving Yourself

By | September 17th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships|

By:  Steve Horsmon This may be my shortest blog post ever.  Good, huh? These words may be the most important I've written for another person - man or woman. These words helped me see things differently and start a new path in my life. During the darkest times in my marriage (yes, failed marriage), a great man and mentor told me this, "The changes you need to make in yourself [...]

909, 2013

Does Your Wife Think It’s All Your Fault?

By | September 9th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

By:  Steve Horsmon I couldn't help but share this with you.  The story below is one I read today and it is the perfect example of what I hear from many, many guys.  I'm wondering if YOU are in this boat. Of course, millions of women can say they are having the exact same problem, but I'm talking to you - not them. The reasons a woman will turn into [...]

2008, 2013

Who is Wearing the “Power” in YOUR Marriage?

By | August 20th, 2013|Categories: Marriage|

Power? What do I mean by power? I’m talking about the kind of power a man needs to create attraction. The kind of power a man needs to LEAD others to places of emotional safety, respect, and passion. The kind of power a man requires to meet the woman of his dreams or stay married to her. It’s often said that “He who cares the LEAST, has the most power [...]

1408, 2013

A Woman’s Answer to Having More Sex? “Sex Brain” Surgery!

By | August 14th, 2013|Categories: Masculinity, Sex|

By: Steve Horsmon Are you a man who has been diagnosed by women as having "Sex Brain?" What the hell is "Sex Brain"? Women KNOW if you have "Sex Brain" Simply put it is the crystal clear perception from a woman that the only kind of connection a man is truly interested in is a sexual connection. He wants to have sex with her.  Above all else, this [...]

2707, 2013

Does a Man Cry When His Mother Dies?

By | July 27th, 2013|Categories: Masculinity, Relationships|

By: Steve Horsmon It’s meant to be a silly title. Of course they do. But I haven’t yet. I’m wondering why. Five days ago I got “The Call” that she was fading fast. We knew she didn’t have long and her lung disease was close to winning the battle. She knew I was 11 hours away and was in route. She was waiting for me. I almost cried just at [...]

907, 2013

A Married Man’s Path Back to Intimacy

By | July 9th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships, Sex|

By:  Steve Horsmon After reading a great article (5 Ways Disney Films Are Bad For Married Men) by marriage counselor, Aaron Anderson, I started thinking about the married men I work with. I agree with Aaron’s 5 points about marriage not being a fairy tale. It’s true that in a reasonably healthy marriage both partners can easily agree on the importance of equality and shared responsibility. But what happens when [...]

407, 2013

Her Need for Planning is Driving Me Crazy!!

By | July 4th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

By: Steve Horsmon What’s the plan? I remember getting that question a LOT during my 28 yr. marriage. It seems a “plan” was required for nearly everything. Even moving furniture together required “a plan”. She would ask, “When two guys move heavy stuff, they don’t even talk. How do you get anything done??” My smug answer was always, “With upper body strength we can overcome the need to speak to [...]

1806, 2013

Saving Your Marriage by Saying Nothing at All

By | June 18th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Relationships|

By: Steve Horsmon Are you a man who has ever heard these words from your wife? “Just stop talking!! I can’t take it anymore!! Can’t you hear how you’re speaking to me?” If so, perhaps this article is for you. You just might be one of those “Good Guys” who is trying to fix his marriage and his wife with words instead of actions. And she’s tired of it. And [...]

1306, 2013

Wife Whispering?! Really?? Yes. It’s All About Respect

By | June 13th, 2013|Categories: Marriage|

Hey there gentlemen (and curious ladies)!  Sometimes a video is worth a 1000 words. The key message is this video is that women can FEEL negativity and PRESSURE from you in ways nobody has ever told you.  When that happens, everything shuts down - including trust, respect, and PASSION!  You can learn exactly how you are unintentionally applying pressure to her and HOW to change your energy so that she [...]

3005, 2013

Dude, Your Wife Sent Me a Letter…

By | May 30th, 2013|Categories: Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Don’t ask me why she did this, I’ve never met her. I would guess she’s been hanging out on the internet and read something I wrote that got to her. It happens. After I read her letter, I began to understand why she is telling ME all of this instead of YOU – which is an obvious question. How did I know your email address? She ended up giving it [...]

2404, 2013

More Intimacy: A Man’s Sexual Epiphany

By | April 24th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity, Sex|Tags: , , , , |

By:  Steve Horsmon A friend excitedly told me today that he had an epiphany over the weekend...but he thought that was probably just her stage name. Sorry. That one has always cracked me up! What’s an epiphany anyway? It’s a sudden realization. It’s a spontaneous understanding. It’s a BFO – A Blinding Flash of the Obvious! So when a man has a sexual epiphany, he has finally pieced together the [...]

1904, 2013

Building MORE Intimacy: Handling Conflict Like a Man!

By | April 19th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I recently read about a study on the LiveScience website titled, “Women Prize Men Who Try to Understand Their Emotions”.  My first reaction was, “Well, no kidding!”.   But as I read a little further and understood the nature of the study, one conclusion stood out for me.  It is a counter-intuitive reality that men need to understand.  Women value a man who expresses either positive or negative emotion in response [...]

1404, 2013

Heads, Married. Tails, Divorced. Call it in the air…

By | April 14th, 2013|Categories: Marriage, Masculinity|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

By: Steve Horsmon Knowing the fate of your marriage is a “coin flip” away.  Seriously.  Just find a coin and grab your wife and give it a toss.  It’s a fun ice breaker for parties and a great conversation starter.  Not serious - please don't do that. A person can spend weeks, though, pouring over available statistics which can foretell the likely future of your marriage.  For example: 41% of [...]

1404, 2013

Goodguys2Greatmen

By | April 14th, 2013|Categories: Marriage|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

A personal and innovative approach to helping men and women improve or save their marriage, achieve greater intimacy and sex life improvement, and improve all of their leadership and relationship skills to lead the life they were meant to have.

1204, 2013

The Great Testicular Heist!

By | April 12th, 2013|Categories: Masculinity, Sex|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

By:  Steve Horsmon The thing I like about sensational titles like “The Great Testicular Heist” is that they tend to make you open the book.  So….gotcha.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. The fallacy in my title is that it implies somebody’s balls were actually stolen.  What really happened is that THOUSANDS of men simply left their balls unattended, laying around the house like spare change, or otherwise unsecured. Yes, [...]

1104, 2013

A Man’s Job: Creating Emotional Safety!

By | April 11th, 2013|Categories: Masculinity|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

By:  Steve Horsmon This article reveals one of the secrets in my report, “5 Secrets of an Unhappy Wife”.  This secret is she expects you to know what emotional safety means to her.  It is so important for a man to understand this and WHY it is HIS JOB to create it.  If he is trying to improve or save his marriage and intimate life, he must embrace this reality [...]